DD hit at nursery - should they let me know?

[MacademiaNut]

I'm after opinions here on my PFB!

She goes to a preschool - kids are between 3.5 and 4.5yrs now. My DD was hit intentionally over the head a few weeks ago, the other boy was told off and made to go inside. Do you think they should have told me ? I found out from DD and asked them about it, what she told me was 100% accurate.

None of the parents get daily feedback, they are supposed to highlight anything exceptional, but most days get zero feedback.

Another child tried to kick her several times this morning at drop off, right in front of me. It was dealt with my a staff member. He was laughing. I am wondering now, how often these 'incidents' go on and whether I am being precious in expecting to be told about them.

My DD is the youngest and the smallest there. Very quiet too. She has told me she is scared of at least 4 of the kids by name. I am concerned that if any of the 'naughty' kids decide to have a go at someone, she is the easy target.

I am being unreasonable, is this normal behaviour for 3.5-4.5yrs olds ? Any ideas how to approach with nursery ? Or any ideas on how to raise confidence / assertiveness with my DD?

Aaah preschool..the quietest part of mumsnet :(

I think worth a chat with nursery if your daughter is feeling afraid. Go at it from that angle i reckon.
It depends how hard was hit and how upset child was as to whether i would expect to be told.
We get a head injury 'parents sheet' if they have bumped their head.

i wouldn't imagine any nursery tells parents about every kick, push, hit etc as otherwise there would be a long list every day. Would expect the nursery to just deal with it at the time. Would expect they report something more serious or if it left a mark. Today when i picked DS 3.8 up he was in the middle of apologising to another child, i asked DS when we got home what he'd done and he said he'd pushed two boys. Nursery didn't mention it.

Most pre schools would simply deal with the hitter and comfort the child who was hit. If she was hit over the head with something hard, I would expect to be told.

Thanks for the replies. Would a reception teacher deal with it in a similar way out of interest? Surely there is a point in time when generally good behaviour is expected and otherwise it's more like bullying? I understand toddlers hit willy-nilly and that is to be expected, just unsure how teachers deal with it out of that stage although I'm not sure the year before reception is out of that stage...

It's just that I got the impression this morning that my DD is often the target

My DS1 often gives me the long list of who has hit him that day. It's both boys and girls. He also tells me who wouldn't share and their "naughty" deeds.

He doesn't seem scared though. One boy hits him virtually every day and DS just remarks that he is a bit annoying. If he was scared, I would definitely take it up with nursery.

On the few occasions that a hit has been more serious than batting each other, nursery have informed me. (DS recently took a ruler to the head and got a black eye from a train shoved in his face).

So my perception is that it's pretty normal for minor incidents to occur. Nursery normally deal with it very well and calmly without making too much of a fuss. If your DD genuinely feels scared of certain children though, I think that might be a good reason to chat to the nursery and see if they can help.