Bullying at nursery - what do you do as a parent?

[welovesausagedogs]

My son (4) and his friends have been telling their parents that a girl at nursery has been squeezing him and other children very tight round their tummies, squeezing children tightly round their necks and sitting on people. My son has told me most of this behaviour occurs when they are in the playground especially in the wendy houses. One of DS friends had been squeezed so hard round her tummy she had bruises all the way around. Her mother complained and was told they will "look into it". I feel this is very serious and this behaviour seems to be allowed to continue, my son didn't want to go to a birthday party yesterday and was crying on the stairs before hand in fear that this child would be there. I don't know what to do, should i write a letter to the nursery or make a meeting with my sons key worker, i feel this is very serious, and needs to be dealt with before the children move on to school. This girl will be progressing on to a large girls prep school where this sort of behaviour could easily progress and become more extreme.

I would want to discuss this with the nursery manager if it was me. Sounds like a big enough concern and if one request hasn't had any feedback at present it needs flagging higher up the chain.

Children of that age can't 'bully'.

Speak to the nursery manager.

It's not bullying.

But yes, speak to the staff.

Er,if it's not rather a plebeian question, why would the girl's behaviour "easily progress and become more extreme" at a large girl's prep school? I'dhave thought getting yer 'ed kicked in was more likely dahn the estate?

I think some of this may have been magnified in the telling because I just don't believe that bruises could be caused all the way around a child's (soft, squashy) tummy by another pre-schooler. Squeezing round the neck is potentially serious though, and the rest sounds horrid.

I would speak to the nursery about the situation as it affects your son and see what they have to say about it.

I would try and give your son some coping strategies so that he knows what to do if this child tries to hurt him. He needs to know that he can tell her to stop and that he should tell the teacher straight away. Or tell him not to go in the wendy house with her.

Thanks for all the comments, i spoke to ds key worker and the nursery manager today. After having a number of complaints from parents apparently they have to know follow an action plan. She will have her nursery days reduced from 5 full days to 5 mornings. She will also be having anger management with a child psychiatrist to get to the route of the problem. I saw the bruises of DS friend and there were small bruises all the way round her tummy almost as if when she hugs she pinches at the same time.

glad you have sorted it but I am really shocked that the nursery told you all of that about another child. Do they not have a confidentiality policy?

Well they didn't say specifically her, they said in these sort of situations they follow a code of practice and she gave me a copy of what they do, and so i just wrote on here what it says on the code of practice document.

Blimey, where do you live that 4 year olds are sent to psychiatrists for anger management.