Just had a weird discussion with head of preschool

[Homelybird]

Dd 1 had a parents information evening this evening about whatyo expect what not to expect from behavior play and learning, much emphasis on not getting them to read or write unless they show interest. An hour discussion in early years and how it works with local schools etc. Anyway at the end they said stick around if you wanna talk to anyone. My dd networked wasn't there so I asked the leader how dd was doing if there were any concerns. She seemed to think for a long while and then said 'no real concerns, she talks a lot and sometimes difficult to get a word in and difficult to get her to be quiet.' she then went on to tell me how important it is to not make her write etc. Dd can write her own name this is not something I have sat down rigidly and made her do but she shows a huge interest in literacy and often pretends to write and read books on the flip side at 3.5 she cannot ride a bike and shows very little intrest in anything sporty. I get the impression they think that I sit her down and make her write. I don't I encourage her when she shows an interest. They never really give me feedback even when asked and when I ask they just give me bleugh type info nothing constructive or positive i get the impression they see her as an annoyance and me too. (I am self-confessed precious first born mum but try so hard not to be).

I don't really know what the point of my post is just wish I could get more feedback other than she talks too much and sheshouldnt be writing her name! She did say I could talk to her keyworker at anytime. So I will tomorrow I always come across so anxious talking to them and stumble over my words and dont really know whatnot say. I just really want to know how she is doing but never really know whatnot say. This is pathetic I know and i am a nurse and communicate well in my profession but when it comes to dd preschool I'm like a timid school girl!!

Sorry a long and pathetic post but I'm the type of person that needs feedback!!!

Networked = keyworker

Whatnot= what to

Damned iPhone maybe I'm just shite at communicating full stop.

Have you looked in her learning journey? I get very little feedback about my DD by speaking to the staff as they are always so busy but looking in her learning journey tells me much more. I can see how they annotate her progress. I always get told my DD cant sit still at meals, something we're working on at home. Mine is 3 next month and always asks me to write her name so she can copy it. She can sound out her name phonically too. But as you say I dont push it. Its something she asks for. On the flip side whilst she can count she cant recognise actual numerals. I dont see writing their name as a negative!

'learning journey'?

What the hell is that?

Homely this is typical of the wooly guff that is Early Years Foundation Stage which involves besically messing about.
It's a bloody scandal.

eeek my preschool call it the learning journey? Its a folder with the key stages of the EYFS and where the child is in terms of development. So when I looked at mine I can see that her communication skills are near that of a 4 year old whereas her social development is closer to 2 as she was fearful, shy, wet herself on occasion and was quite intimated in groups. Not nice to read!! But it gave me an idea of what to work on with her and to discuss with staff.

They did talk about her Learning journal, maybe I will ask to see it tomorrow. I think what had kinda annoyed me a bit was that they seemed to have assumed what I am like, she said things like make sure she has lots of fun through play and does lots of different things I felt the urge to be a bit defensive and say we do have fun and always doing different things. But dp thinks I'm taking these comments the wrong way, but her emphasis on not writing and making sure she has fun left a bad taste in my mouth like I sit her at the table make her write and do nothing else, ok I probably am being over sensitive and reading into things too much but I would just love to know a bit more about dd at preschool.

What makes you feel the early learning foundation years is awful? I only found out about it tonight so genuinely would love to hear your thoughts

X posts with you doctorswife but that sounds like the exact stuff I want to know

I understand your concerns about the assumptions about you as a mum. I've got the eyfs pack as I wanted to be a childminder and so I actually use a lot of it as guidelines for play with my own DD. Because I'm familiar with it, i think I get labelled as pushy. But I use it in that it might say "child has a concept of time, uses language like today, tomorrow etc" so i would use that to ask DD what did she do yesterday? What day does she go swimming etc. Not sitting there checking off her achievements. But I don't use it professionally and I know lots of childminders, preschool workers find it tiresome so i'd be interested to hear why too?

is it the actual framework or the paperwork and annotating the childs learning thats the issue?

moondog - learning journey is a book/folder which records every stage of a child's progress through EYFS - really truly, every stage. every look, word, even every bloody fart it would seem, is documented, with a time, place, and date and usually a photograph too, to prove it actually happened.

Well intentioned Homely but for many kids (not all) it means they mess about for a few years doing a lot of vague 'play based' activities with no real direction from adults then suddenly it's a nasty shock to get into Year 3 and have to sit, listen, attend and focus on academics.

I work in early development and have very strong concerns about it (as do many teachers).
Results aren't great either.It hasn'r improved standards.

No parents information evenings at our preschool, just a quick chat at pick-up time. My DSs always look a bit muddy, grubby and happy after pre-school so never thought to discuss anything else.

We were given the learning journey over the summer after they left and I was quite surprised to see the detailed work that had gone into preparing them. I learnt far more about their pre-school days than I ever did from my DSs.

I'm not sure the pre-school workers can tell you much more than you know about her already,tbh.

Silver, yes, it is a rhetorical question of sorts but what absolute bollocks to call it a 'journey'.

I am all too familiar with guffl ike this and what you say is so true. Everoyne so busy recording and priniting out pictures with expensive ink (what the hell is that all about?) that the actual 'doing' and teaching is a last on the list.

was a bit you'd never seen one, moondog - thought maybe you'd managed to convince your area to give them up or something.

but yes, the very words 'learning journey' make me want to heave.

I have yet to see dd2's in any detail (saw it briefly at a parent's evening), and she is at half-term in reception now (her school has a separate one for pre-school and reception), but her end of year report documented well the issues I ahd outlined ot them at the beginning of the year . luckily pre-school really was for socialisation purposes for her, as otherwise I would have been really cheesed off at paying the fees for a year, to 'discover' what hr issues are

The EYFS is only from birth to 5 (end of Reception) so not sure why going into Year 3 is a shock moondog?

I think the under 5s should be messing about and playing most of the time!

Thanks for the insight. I know one thing for sure too much documentation takes away from caring as a nurse so can totally relate to EYFS affecting time with the children. Although have to say I like the idea of keeping play the main part of an under 5 life.

So remain on the fence in regards to EYFS atm until I become more familiar with it. Having said that about the documentation I do want to see dd journey folder thingy!

I never expected preschool to provoke such anxiety in me. I worry about everything her behavior, her making friends, spending too much time with her cousin who also attends same preschool spending not enough time with her cousin, her not eating enough, not listening, not having fun, I seriously never knew I would get so worried! God help my dd year R teacher if I am this over anxious about preschool what am I gonna be like at school

Homely you can download the eyfs for free here. If you want to be familiar with it. If it helps, from what i've learned on mumsnet is that the key skills a child needs for school is dtess themselves, wipe bum and sit using cutlery. My dd isnt even 3 and is desperate to go to big school so i tell her she cant go until she masters those skills. Its amazing how quick shes learned to 'do buttons'. Everything else i focus on play.

www.education.gov.uk/publications/standard/publicationDetail/Page1/DCSF-00261-2008#downloadableparts

I don't find the paperwork aspect too bad, though different nurseries organise the way they "do" the EYFS in different ways. I tend to carry a pen and some sticky labels with me to jot things down as I see them, and sometimes take photos (the kids love this). I have 12 key children so find these notes really useful to keep track of what each child is doing, what they enjoy, what they are interested in - it would be too much to try to track in my head! I have a couple of hours non-contact time a week to plan individually for my children, and to plan with the rest of the team for the group as a whole, so I'm not trying to do paperwork and play simultaneously. Generally it all works well.

Thanks for the link doctorswife I will have a good look later.

Ritamorgan it's good to know that you have don't find the paperwork too much.

I have new concerns today! I'm a nightmare I know this but I keep all my concerns on the inside in case of offending the staff, when I do say something it comes out all wrong and I can tell I seem quite intense (for want of a better word). So my new concerns are that dd keyworker only works with her one morning a week now its a shame as dd likes her a lot. I'm not sure whether to say anything about this as nit sure I want her keyworker to change but she hardly see's my dd.
Second concern is that dd came out of preschool with a pinch mark on her cheek she said a little boy stole her pink paper and she shouted at him and he pinched her kinda blood under the akin type mark very small, I asked her if she told a teacher and she said yes and the boy got told off and so did she. This all seems very plausible and from what dd said I think it seems as though the situation was handled well but why didn't they tell me? Should I bring it up? Or am I being pfb?

They should have given you an incident form. Weirdly we've got some real parallels going on. My key worker sees dd one day out of two. In fact tje second day was recommended away from her as she was so clingy to the keyworker. I do find other key workers do the post it note thing for my dd whilst under their care so I dont worry that they dont get her, and her own key worker adores her so thats fine for me.

My dd got pinched on arm and drew blood. She was too frightened to tell and i asked why i didnt get a form. Dd claims the 'teachers' were busy talking. I did complain as her injury was sufficient to have been noted to me. Another time she was pushed and called a baby. Again dd didnt want to tell because when she cried the other child told the key worker that dd was a baby for crying. When pressed the key workers advised me that she'd been crying to come home but they couldnt work out why. You should have been advised that your child had a pinch to the face im sure.

Quick post as off out but have to say I couldn't disagree more with moondogs comments. I worked in a reception class and found EYFS frame work fantastic. Foundation stage ends after reception too.

I always found it to be a good mixture of child led play and adult led activities, and even the playing was learning based. We saw fab results in our school.

Maybe they didn't notice she was marked?

The keyworker thing, I wouldn't worry about too much. It's administrative more than anything.

OP - you seem to be so worried about what is going on at that pre-school, and don't really trust the staff there. With the pinching incident, yes, they should have given you an insident slip to sign, now you are probably even more worried.

At my DD's pre-school they allow parents to stay with DCs until they are settled. We stayed for 2 weeks, which had probably more to do with us than with DD (3). Can you stay and just help out? Our pre-school is a Charity and all parents are required to help once a term.

In regard to your worries, I would keep asking questions, as if to try and find out how they do things, and how they think it should be done. I did that when I was unhappy with my DS (6) teacher and didn't want to confront her directly.