crying when being collected from preschool

[ltw3]

L is 3.11 and has just started back at pre-school for his second year. During the first year he cried for a short while when I dropped him off but soon got over it, as a friend dropped her child off slightly later and by then L was happy and playing.

When I pick him up I can see him through the window waiting, smiling away looking very happy to see me but the moment he reaches me he starts crying. It only lasts for about 5 minutes then he is fine, but it is after every session. He has now started back after the holidays and dropping him off has been great but the same thing is happening already when I pick him up. I have tried telling him off, I have tried ignoring him and I have also tried the bribery approach with a small treat. Nothing has worked!

When someone else has picked him up there have been no tears!!

Any suggestions??

My DS did this for his first couple of times at preschool. I think it's just relief to see you at the end of the session, even if he's been having a good time. I'm sure it won't last.

Hope so, A year is already long enough! I think it has become a habit which is hard to break. Thanks

It's funny my ds went through that phase. Like you I tried telling him off, explaining things to him, bribing, ignoring.... Nothing worked. I was starting to get worried at some point of someone thinking I was maltreating him or something!

I'm still not sure why he did that but be reassured, it's nothing and it'll go away soon enough.

I agree that sometimes it might just be the relief of seeing you at the end of the day and maybe sort of trying to get back at you for leaving him there in the 1st place even though he did have a good time there.

Hope the phase passes soon!

It's not unusual in preschool for children to cry at pickup. They are still learning to manage their emotions, and pickup is an emotional time. They know they feel strongly about your arrival, and the tears are just an expression of strong emotion, like when you meet someone who's been away for ages at the airport for example. Don't stress about it, it just shows he lives you best

Darn autocorrect! "loves" not "lives"!

Thanks for all the advice, hopefully it will be something that stops soon. I thought we had cracked it yesterday he was lovely when I picked him up but today worse than ever. We shall see what happens :) .

It is because they remember that they missed you...completely normal!

He's just relieved to see you, it's an outburst of emotion! Telling him off for it is very mean.

Have a look at Cohen's Playful Parenting - an excellent book that helps to understand why things like that happen and how best to deal with them without going mental.