Best way to encourage a 2.8 yr old to go to pre school

[Pioneer]

DS started pre school a few weeks ago.

He wasn't too bad at first - a few tears but was fine for the rest of the morning apparently.

Anyway, last time he went, he apparently cried pretty much the whole time he was there.

He is now saying that he doesn't want to go again and that he doesn't like the teachers.

I'm not sure why this is - it is obviously quite structured there, as they have 8 children to care for, not just one, so it might be that he misses the one on one attention that he gets a lot of the time from me at home.

I want to try to help him to get used to being with the other children, but not sure how to go about it.

He goes again tomorrow and I am dreading it because I know he is going to have a meltdown.

Any advice appreciated .

I have struggled to get my DD to settle at playschool. I found that I would completely not mention it to her as even the pre-warning would upset her.

So I decided on the opposite approach and it worked. I made sure I involved her in a conversation about playschool and the routine of getting up, having breakfast, nice walk along the river, and then asking her to fill in the blanks.

So for example, at DD's playschool they have a system of registration where the children find their name badges on a table and put them on a magnetic board. So I would say to DD "what do we do when we get there?" and she would reply with "find my name, then on the board" and I would praise her with getting the right answer.

And I would do this all the way to playschool. "So after the name badge, you'll sing some songs and paint or mummy a nice picture, or maybe do some bricks or some puzzles and when mummy picks you up you can tell me all about it."

I'm waffling now, but you get my gist. I just found that really involving her in the routine and a plan of what she will do and she kind of forgot about being upset as she was always concentrating on what she wanted to do next.

HTH :)

Thanks Coconuts

I've been trying to talk to him about it like this, but he does get really upset like your DD if I even mention it.

It is so strange, as he was actually fine for the first few weeks.

He started half way through the year so he is the only "new" child - I wonder whether or not he has picked up that the other children have been there longer.

He's sitting here just now saying "I'm not going to school, I'm not going to school", and I've not even mentioned it!

I just know that if he keeps this up it is going to start upsetting me.

I know exactly how you feel. It is upsetting watching them scream and cry. My DD also used to just bring it up randomly saying "no playschool" even if I hadn't mentioned it.

My DD also started mid-term. Does he have a key worker assigned to him? Could you make sure you leave him with the same member of staff each morning so he at least gets used to one person? Does he go every day?

Our SALT coordinator explained to me that in order to ease the anxiety of going to playschool sometimes it helps to bring playschool to home. So is there one friend he plays with more? Or are you friends with any of the mums so that he can play with a child outside of playschool and build up a relationship with them so that next time he goes to playschool he remembers that child?

If he doesn;t have to go for your work or to preserve your sanity, don;t send him.

Simple.

surely then ur letting ur child ditacate to you

No - you're letting your child tell you that he doesn;t want to go to pre-school. It's not compulsory, you know!

I don't think that's very helpful seeker. OP wants advice on helping her child enjoy going more. I'm sure if she wanted to remove him she could do so without needing to be told to do so from MN. It isn't compulsory but I think it is important to help a child to socialise and used to other adults before mainstream school.

I wanted to reassure her that she doesn't have to send her child to any sort of pre-school. A lot of people think that it is, if not exactly compulsory, at least hightly desirable. And in many cases, it isn't. And a lot of parents amd children are made miserable because they think they are doing the best thing by their child. And they may not be. But thank you for your concern.

I kind of agree with Seeker.

My DD (2.7) started pre school after half time, two sessions a week and absolutely loves it. I am on M/L at the mo so have the luxury of deciding whether to send her or not, not forced to by work. I just told myself that DD could stop going if she hated it.

Coincidentally, she really, really loves it but I'm not all that happy with the pre school. I've decided to send her to a different one once she's 3 (they don't take them til 3) and am now agonising about whether to take her out in a few weeks, or after the end of summer term!

after half term!

Fair enough seeker, I just thought your original post was rather abrupt and unhelpful but your most recent was much more explanatory :)

also agree with seeker - half a year makes a big difference - if he doesn't have to go, think about taking him out and putting him back in again next year
if he has to go, he has to go - being matter of fact about it and doing 'drop and run' is often effective