Help my PFB keeps getting hit by the same child!

[Owlingate]

I know it's a bit precious but it's starting to put him off pre-school.

I have had to sign the accident form 4 times since Jan for visible injuries on my DS1 who has told me each time that he was hit by this child.

I know the stuff they say has to be taken with a pinch of salt, but I have seen him being grabbed by the hair and having his head bounced off the corner of a table by this child. When pressed the nursery staff have admitted that the injuries above were caused by this kid. Admittedly the incident I saw came about when my DS tried to take over the game.

What can I do? Have told DS not to take others' toys, I think him and this kid like the same toys though. Do not know the Mum.

I know they push and shove over toys but I think this child is a bit ott tbh.

Any advice?

You need to tell the preschool that your DS is reluctant to keep going in because of this issue. They have to sort it out.

Thanks guys. Apparently they didn't see how it started etc. but I know only mine is actually getting injured. I've told my DC he's not to play with the other boy any more because he doesn't play nicely...

How can you know the other child isn't coming home with a bruise or few from his encounters with your lad?

And don't hold it against the other little boy forever, either. One day you will be the one pulled aside because your son has smashed somebody's face in. Or your daughter has rounded up her friends to go have a group hector at some poor unpopular girl hiding in the toilets. The nicest kids can still have their horrid & bullying moments.

Don't do what one parent did to me and verbally abuse and intimidate the other parent! This was based on 1 incident, weeks before the outburst, from allegations from another parent whose child my DS had targeted (ho hum... :( ) at preschool (my ds being almost 12mths the younger and half the height). She spread rumours that my DS was a bully... he wasn't, he just had (seems to be dealing with it better, well done him!), a fuse that other kids knew how to light!

I work at a preschool. We aim to socialise all the children in our care, and reinforce positive behaviours etc. They should be doing this, but unfortunately, can't tell you much more than, "it is in hand". I would have a quiet word that he is being unsettled by it all, and see what they say. It may well be he WANTS to play with this other child, just doesn't like his roughness... and it may be that the other child is just reacting (inappropriately of course), to triggers your DS is providing (i.e taking they toy away... huge trigger for rows that one! lol)

hth

Ragged I thought that so I asked them whether he was hurting / had hurt / had been physical with the other child and they said no. DS as a 2 yr old was unfortunately a stealthy run you over with the ride-on type of person. DC2 is a pretty physical child and has been accused of 'looking threateningly' at a cutesy baby girl (he was 12 months at the time). That's why I'm trying not to overreact.

Mrsdo I wouldn't mention it to the Mum - if I knew her a bit better, I would maybe ask them to soft play or something. I think DS wants to play with the same toys as him and the other child has been there longer so sees it as his territory or something. I really wouldn't mind if it was pushing / shoving over a toy - it's just that this kid goes for his face with the claws or uses nearby objects to hit him with - imo v aggressive and I think 3 y o is old enough not to do this.

Will see how it goes after half-term. Thanks for the pre-school worker inside info!

Ah yes... DS went for the claws... In the end I worked with the preschool and wrote a social story about not scratching our friends, even when they do something to make us sad.

It did work... He had bitten before too,so this was delt with the same way. FWIW he bit someone at school who was poking him in the throat... The school were very reasonable (ds was upset he had done it, so that helped), and appreciated the level of provocation... I just gave DS a stern talking to about what teeth are for!

It is likely that IF the child is as aggressive as you say, then the staff will probably have an action plan. Of course, only the mum will be involved in this, and so it can look like it isn't being dealt with.