Home education vs pre school

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Hi!!! I'm a final year student teacher for early years and would really appreciate your help to inform my dissertation. I am investigating whether children with a good home environment necessarily need to attend pre school. Could people please tell me what you are looking for in a pre school and what you hope your child to achieve by going there. Also, if there are any parents who choose not to send thrie child to pre school I would appreciate your thinking behind that! Finally, did any parents choose to send their child to an educational setting (most likely a private nursery) before the age of 3 for reasons other than work? If so please tell me your reasons behind this! Thanks in advance for all of your help!!

Hi - I sent both of mine to pre-school to give them the chance to socialise with a wider range of children than I was able to provide (usually I meet up with maximum 2/3 other parents with their children), to get to know some of the children they would be going up to school with, to start to learn more about the sort of behaviour and routines that would be expected of them once they started school, to allow them to do a wider range of activities than I have the patience was able to do with them and (v. important this one!) to give me a bit of a break.

I sent dd1 to a childminder when she was 18 months for two days a week mostly to give me a break and allow me to do the housework and later to get a bit of 1-on-1 time with dd2 when she was born.

I don't think preschool is necessary but personally I think it is better preparation for the shock of school than staying at home.

Hello
My children went to a lovely pre-school. They only went for a few short sessions a week but I think they learned a lot. The most important aspect was social. They learned to take turns, to think about other children. They also learned very basic discipline, such as sitting still for a story or walking sensibly in a group. They also gained confidence by being away from me. All these things prepared them very well for school and are all things I couldn't have given them at home.

DS is currently almost 4 and does not attend preschool. We are planning to continue this and home educate for the forseeable future.
We decided to keep ds at home for many reasons:
He is very bright and wouldn't gain anything academically from attending preschool.
He is very social and attends many social events like playgroups, playdates and HE specific groups.
I visited the local preschools and just felt that there wasn't one that suited ds. He is social with other children but has a tendency to fade into the background in large groups and we felt he wouldn't receive the 1-1 care he needed.
I am a nanny and already follow the EYFS at work where he comes with me.
He attends activities away from me/his dad and has very little clinginess/separation issues.
In short, we felt there was nothing to gain from him attending preschool and it would only serve to confuse things in the long run as most preschools seem to be geared towards 'school-readiness' and as we had always planned to home educate, it would make things harder and not easier

I am interested in this because I am the only person I know who has not sent their child to pre-school/nursery.

My reasons for this are:

I like my child, and really enjoy spending time with him. This will no doubt end soon enough.

Where I live there is very little choice of provision, and I feel that he will flourish with me and the myriad of activities we do day to day, be they just us or with other toddlers, rather than in a nursery or playgroup. Even a trip to tesco or the doctor can be fun if you are two.

I feel he is far too young for the regimented school type pre-school, and should enjoy life while he can before the daily drudge sets in.

I am pretty much treated with amazement by all the mummies that I know for this, but hey ho. We are having a nice time, and learning loads about the world, and surely that's what you should be doing when you are two or three?

That's basically it. We are just normal, but seem very abnormal in today's culture. Hope it works out, but we have a such a lovely time anyway. And he great at playing with others and being away from me too, so am not ruining that. That's us, hope helps.

O, and we do glitter only at toddler play - am not letting that spawn of Satan in my house

DD started at preschool a term before the NEG funding started, partly to keep her busy and a chance to socialise with other children, she was a bit bored at times with a younger sibling. She now goes for the funded hours plus some extra sessions we pay for. We don't need her there for work reasons.

DS now does a few short sessions also, just 3 a week. He loves going. He mostly goes for entertainment TBH and to give us a little break. Both parents working, no other help with childcare except for the preschool sessions as we share the childcare by taking it in turns to go to work basically.

I do like my children, and I like being with them, but I also really enjoy being able to vacuum without a helper/eating a sandwich no one else has licked, just occasionally

Lostlady - I like my children too believe it not!

If I didn't send them to preschool I'd plunk them in front of Cbeebies and videos all day. So yes it's a good thing.

Yes I sent my toddlers to preschool before they were funded (age 3), because they were ready &/or I needed a break from them (no family support).

The only people I know who didn't send their DC to preschool at all, it was because they didn't have transport to get to the preschool. Most the fervent home-edders I know sent their DC to an external preschool, it was the compulsory-age school system they didn't like.

I do think the "to get them ready for school" argument is a bit strange. That is what Reception is for - that's why it's called Reception, not Year 1!

DD1 started pre-school at 2.5. She loved the social aspect of it & doing things that I couldn't easily do at home. (painting at home with a 2.5 year old & a newborn is not to be advised imho) It was great for me as DD2 was tiny & I got to catch up on sleep spend some time with just her. Later it has been great as pre-school has meant I can spend 1:1 time with both girls; dd2 whilst dd1 is at pre-school & dd1 whilst DD2 has her afternoon nap.

Now DD2 is almost 2 & is desperate to start at pre-school like her big sister. She will be going 2 mornings a week after half term. Again she will do things I don't do at home.

I do think it is a good introduction to some of school life but with the advantage that there are 1 staff to 6 children rather that 1 to 15 as it will be in reception.

DD1 is learning to sit quietly, take turns, hang her coat up all with the support that more staff can offer. Preschool has also given her confidence - she is naturally quite shy & I can see the difference it has made in her.

Finally DD's pre-school have their lunch in the school with the primary children. The pre-school staff sit & eat with them. I don't have to worry about dd1 being able to manage her lunch as the pre-school have supported her to become fully independent.

I think it helps as a stepping stone to school, mine only started with 2 mornings a week and worked up to 5 mornings once they turned 4 yrs. They loved it and it is nice for them to have time apart from siblings.
Selfishly it gave me time to do the supermarket shop and dentist etc without dragging them along. Having said that I was bery much involved with the preschool anyway and was sometimes a volunteer so I wasn't just handing them over, I was 'very hands' on being on the running committee.

Just want to say, wasn't suggesting other people don't like their children Sounded bit righteous when I read my post back, amd really terrible and slapdash mother, not saintly and smug. Nor am I saying that don't agree with pre-school, and may eat my words any day now or when time for school...

Might be quite different as well if I lived somewhre else with more choice of pre-schools or playgroups, very limited here. On the other hand, the school is small, so the transition shouldn't be so bad: can see what Loopymumsy means.

I have now completely and utterly given up on pre-school/nursery and have set about finding new ways for my DS to socialise - which is all I really wanted, somewhere for him to play and meet other kids. Everything else we do at home.

In the 18 months since my DS was 2.5 we have had nothing but problems due mainly to the staff. All 3 nurseries had good Ofsteds but in reality that were mediocre at best.

My DS is a confident friendly little boy but I have found his confidence has been badly dented by some of these experiences and he has come away quite sullen - or even aggressive.

If our experience is anything to go by I think boys get a rough deal in some of these environments - and they do say that the failure with boys in education actually begins in Nursery. They are such feminised environments - staffed almost solely by women - and boys don't get to do enough boy stuff.

I didn't start school till I was 5 years old and haven't suffered unduly because of it. I think kids are shunted into the sausage machine far too early these days in this country.

I love your post, thank you, it is really nice to hear someone else expressing how I feel. I have lovely days with my 23 month old and plan to do autonomous home education with him as it seems very odd to halt what seems to me a very natural learning progression at his own pace, simply to fit in with an arbitrary system.
Also, how refreshing to hear of someone who genuinely sounds like they are relishing motherhood!

Sorry, meant to say my message was to Lostlady and thought might be private message but seems have posted on the thread inadvertently - first time on Mumsnet!

My DD is 2yrs 8 months and to date has been wholly cared for at home by me (2 days a week), DH (2 days a week) and my mum (1 day a week). She will be starting pre-school in April for 2 afternoon sessions. I think she has a great time at home with us - we go to toddler groups, round other people's houses to play, to the supermarket, library, swimming pool, walks in woods, nature reserves, parks, playgrounds, museums, to the shops, mess around at home, DD helps with all the usual domestic chores, we go to soft play etc etc. We chose to work part time and take the financial hit because we want (and are lucky enough to be able to afford, more or less) to be very hands on parents.

But I think she will really really enjoy the fun things they do at pre-school. It is only for 6 hours a week, which I think is right at her age. The rest of the time she will continue to be with me or DH (as my mum will get a year off while I am on mat leave!).

Also DC2 is due in May, and I think it will be really nice for DD to have her special thing - pre-school - when the rest of the time I will no doubt be having to attend to the baby's needs a lot of the time. And of course it will be nice for me to spend some time just with the baby. However "good" our home environment, pre-school will provide something which even the best home environments can't. I am not at all worried about the "academic" side - I am perfectly capable of introducing her to shapes / numbers / letters / colours etc - but it seems to me that she can't fail to thrive by being exposed to a different environment in small doses.

However, since she hasn't actually started, all this is postulation!

I am a teacher and think the the pressures of primary are great - I disagree with homework as I think the children should work hard and then have playtime at home.
My son has gone to pre-school the term pre-funding (2 mornings) as that was what everyone did, or they started as soon as they were 2 years. I love spending time with my kids but we both like the routine and benefit from the time apart - he is very clingy and is gradually building confidence (something I lack so he is unlikely to learn it from me!).
Next term he will have 4 X 1/2 day sessions although I have checked that although he is signed up for it he will not always go as it is our final term pre-school.

I personally believe that the kids should thrive with or without it. I guess it is pressure of 'what everyone does' why most of us sign up for pre-school. Government funding - it is rare to get it for anything so I guess we need to make the most of it whilst we can!

My kids (twins) went to a nursery when they were three and a half, two days a week (9 - 3). I needed some time alone - i'm a single parent - but thought that being with other kids would be more fun for htem than playing with a nanny or a childminder. Also they had started to make wistful comments when we were out on walks and passed school playgrounds: 'can we go there when we're big kids' etc. I love the nursery, and if we had not got places there, I would have kept them at home as the other available nurseries didn't really strike a chord(the nursery is small, high motivated staff - with very low turnover - very very play orientated, I like the other parents etc). Also we've met even more people from the area, so the kids are bumping into lots of kids =when we are out and about, which we all like. I upped the days to three a week this term as they seemed to like it so much, but it has turned out to be too much for them - exhausted - and i plan to cut back to two.
The perfect mix for me - for both nursery and school up to around 8 or 9 - would be flexi schooling. But there aren't primary schools willing to go in for that round here. The children love being with me, and i think we all benefit. but it's good for them to widen their world without me too.

BTW: I use the third day now to take one child out for a 'special walk' while the other stays alone in nursery. They are never normally separated (because i'm a single mum) and so I thought it would be good for them to have a go at relating aloneto other children They have both managed really well so far and have made new friends (normally they play together). The one who is out with me always loves it (although they always demand that we buy a present for the child who is not with us).

Kattyo that sounds really sorted with your two!

When they start school I think it is only a legal requirement the term they turn 5, or that they do not have to do full days until then. Although it has changed so schools have to offer all that school year from Sept. My nephew was exhausted starting in Sept (July b'day so one of the youngest) and my sister ended up collecting him at lunchtime and bringing him home for a sleep. A supportive school who were quite happy with that. A friend of mine also had a child collected from her class at lunchtimes so it does happen.

I have a 4 year old that has never been to a pre-school, like one of the other posts i intend to home educate so do not see the point in messing up our routin. i have looked into many different typs of education, my resurch has showen me that the countrys with the lowist levels of eilitricy, are the ones that defer educatin tell much later, 6-7ish. Also ther is much current thinking from some top proffessers{ken robinson ect], that the school systim is out of date, needs a compleat rethink and is stiferling the creativity of todays children.IMO many, though not all, simpley do not look into what there rights are and what MAY be best. As an exanpel i used to get told alot that it was the law that children go to pre-school. so many peopel just follow without asking.

zoekinson - I am a huge admirer of Ken Robinson. Why don't they let him just take over the entire education system?