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Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

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Original poster

Nursery have asked to have a word about my dd advice please

34 replies

laughalot · 20/01/2011 20:44

Ok my little girl has just turned 4 a week ago she goes to nursery everyday for a few hours and starts fulltime in september.

The teacher asked to have a word today because she is a little behind in her work. She has no interest in writing at the minute she see's nursery as somewhere to go and play. The teacher is very blunt and said im not sure if she is lazy or if she dosent understand, she told me to check her hearing and eyesight to be honest im sure I would have picked up if that was a issue. She also told me to consider speech therapy as she cannot pronounce some of her letters.

I just feel this is all a bit pushy for a child who has just turned 4, I also have a ds who is very bright and it is hard not to compare their abilities but I cannot help it. I do feel she is slightly behind but im hoping one day it will click with her and she will want to sit down and learn.

OP posts:

Shitemum · 20/01/2011 20:47

I think your 4 year old has a better idea of what nursery is for for a child that age than the teacher. She'll show an interest in learning to read and write when she's ready. Being pushed will not help. The teacher sounds horrible.

I would consider changing nursery if that's an option.

She may need speech therapy but that's for a speech therapist to decide.

thebountymuncher · 20/01/2011 20:48

She's 4! I very much doubt she's behind- she probably just enjoys playing more!

Nursery sounds very pushy to be honest.

Sorry I have no advice, but I would really not worry just yet.

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/01/2011 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thebountymuncher · 20/01/2011 20:49

And I agree with Shitemum.

HumphreyCobbler · 20/01/2011 20:51

your dd sounds entirely normal for her age

my ds refuses to pick up a pencil and cannot say some of his sounds. I have no worries at all about his development. I am a teacher.

Cheggerspartypopper · 20/01/2011 20:55

My ds refuses to hold a pencil as well. Nurseries ARE for playing. I would be cross if my nursery called ds lazy because he wanted to play rather than do arts and crafts, which I know he doesn't really enjoy.

What do you mean by behind with her work? nurseries don't do work do they?

pozzled · 20/01/2011 20:55

Saying that a child may be 'lazy' because they're not interested in writing when just turned 4 is ridiculous IMO. And 'behind in her work' were those her words? In the early years foundation stage it shouldn't be 'work' as such, it should all be play-based and based on the child's interests. I would think that your DD is just not ready to start writing yet, she will come to it in her own time.

How do you feel she is doing, is she interested in books, does she recognise her own name, count etc?

moaningminniewhingesagain · 20/01/2011 20:56

My DD is a little younger, she turns 4 in a few weeks.

She goes to preschool 4.5 days a week. She has zero interest in learning letters or trying to write her name.

She is there to play, and will be learning stuff as she goes along.

Sounds like the teacher has wierdly high expectations - she will learn to read at school but she is not ready just yet. She doesn't sound behind at all, AFAIK it is pretty rare to be reading and writing at just turned 4.

And some mis-pronunciations are normal at this age too, DD still plays in her 'deddoom', likes a 'dink' of water, etc. She is very bright and nosy but these things come with time

bubbleandsqueaks · 20/01/2011 21:00

I agree with the above posts, dd has just started nursery and it was made clear to us that she would be learning through play.

She came home today and said she had played with cars and sang baa baa black sheep.

Original poster

laughalot · 20/01/2011 21:07

Thankyou everyone to be honest I had a few problems with that teacher when my ds was in nursery she is at retirement age now and I think she is very old school.

She knows her colours, numbers up to ten , and yes she recognises her own name. I thought it was more about play aswell at that age. Her speech is fine its just she struggles a bit with the letter c but you can hold a conversation with her.

We read, draw ect together I just think she isnt ready yet.

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mummyosaurus · 20/01/2011 21:10

My DS is 4 and 3 weeks, he's not interested in writing either, sounds like your DD is normal.

Chaotica · 20/01/2011 21:13

I wouldn't worry either. DD was the same and is doing fine in reception. She couldn't even hold a pencil properly 6m ago in nursery.

imustbemadasaboxoffrogs · 20/01/2011 21:17

My DD2 is now 8.

She was very very slow at pronouncing some of her letters correctly. So much so, and it went on for so long, that her big brother's nickname at school became her "version" of his name and he's still known by it now and all his birthday cards from his mates came with her "version" of his name written on it (he's 20 BTW)

And she had very little interest in writing at nursery.

I honestly wouldn't worry.

skirt · 20/01/2011 21:21

Poor little thing, talk about sticking a label on her. She sounds perfectly normal to me, she's 4 of course she wants to play

putthehamsterbackinitscage · 20/01/2011 21:22

Sounds like there isn't really an issue with your DD, more that the teacher has set ideas about what she thinks is ok...

I would follow up the speech issues though, the c sound usually develops around 3 ish years - my DS had an issue with that, successfully sorted with only a few visits to speech therapy

There can be quite a waiting list for assessment and treatment, so worth pushing for assessment asap - my health visitor did our referral...

But relax... She will write etc when she is ready not when a teacher thinks she should....

Original poster

laughalot · 21/01/2011 12:04

Thankyou so much everyone.

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lv75 · 23/01/2011 20:28

Hi, just a quick note, the nursery does sound horrid, and in the EYFS curriculum handwriting s only a goal at for the end of Reception/going into year one, there is no way a 4 year old should be told she is behind like that. I would complain to ofsted as it looks like the nursery is not complying with the Early Years Foundation Stage, which is a statutory requirement. Learning is through play anyway (p.s. I work for a pre-school and am half way through my Early Years Professional Status course so I should know!!)

Original poster

laughalot · 24/01/2011 11:14

Lv75 thanks so much for that I may do that there was just no need to be like that.

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TiggyD · 24/01/2011 11:38

Sounds like her teaching is really out of date. The big phrase in childcare is "learning through play". "Learning through sitting still and paying attention" is out. I'm not sue whether this teacher is lazy or just doesn't understand that!
Some sounds are harder to do than others. Your DD may be too young for some, th for instance, but maybe not. Teacher may be right.

TiggyD · 24/01/2011 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiggyD · 24/01/2011 11:57

OOPS!

Double post. Sorry.

seeker · 24/01/2011 11:58

Move her. Unless you need her to go for your sanity or work, don't take her back.

fumanchu · 25/01/2011 18:40

If you have no worries about her speech I wouldn't take any notice of the teacher's comments. when my son was at nursery the teacher told several of us our children needed referring to SAL because she couldn't understand what they said. I got my HV to check and she said it was just immaturity - one teacher and nursery nurse just don't spend much time really talking to individual children and in my experience just talked to the chatty girls rather than engage with a group of boys who wanted to play more boisterously.

supersewer · 25/01/2011 19:06

I work with this age - the only ones who work are the adults - the children play, maybe your dd doesn't like the games the staff are providing for her!!!

Original poster

laughalot · 26/01/2011 13:33

They just seem to want to push the children to be sitting down and writing and because daughter isnt interested she seems to have a issue. She hasnt even decided yet which hand she wants to write with im left handed and she switches between them.

OP posts:

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