Should I take my ds out of nursery?

[casyoung2001]

Afternoon Everyone,
I'd really appreciate some advice please . My ds is 3 & a half, & starts school in sept.He had a year at nursery with other ds before he went off to school last sept, which the younger one really enjoyed. When he went back to nursery without his brother in sept, he was so unhappy, he cried all the time, & would wake in the night crying that he didn't want to go to nursery! After a couple of months with no improvement, we put him into another nursery, next to older ds's school. He seems to dislike this nursery as much, if not more, than the old one, & having just had 2wks off with chicken pox, we're both dreading him going back next week already (He does all day mon & tue). Hubby really feels we need to keep sending him, as he's worried it'll be worse for him when he starts school if we don't. I, on the other hand, dread those mornings, when he clings to me for dear life, sobbing his heart out & begging me not to leave him. His key worker says he does calm down after I leave, but always looks sad, & doesn't join in with the other children - this makes me feel even worse !
Any advice be lovely - I really don't know what to do for the best.
Thanks for reading.

Your husband is wrong; by forcing your son to go to nursery, his dislike, to put it mildly, towards it could easily transfer to the school.
Give him a break and let him stay home; by September you should have a relaxed and happy boy.
If his brother shares his exitement about shool I'm sure the younger brother will be a lot more ready for it.
This time he's not going to be left behind by his brother (as in nursery) but is going to join him in school.

Can you get some starting school books and chat positively about it all? I am in the keep sending him camp, but would work hard to get him to enjoy it and avoid the tearful drop offs!

I think it depends. What action are the nursery taking to help him settle? If they haven't used any tactics to address this, they should have done, in which case take him out and either find somewhere with better procedures or keep him home until school time. If they have tried to help, what have they tried and why isn't it working?

could you try half days for a while?

If he was happy in the nursery after you left I'd say keep hi there but he clearly is not happy at all. I would see about the part time option or not at all. Some children are ready for these things at different times - but it all balances out ok in the end.

When DS was at nursery he hated it. I struggled for a while and it was awful! In the end we stopped him going for the last year. I was then dreading him starting at school because I thought he would be the same. He wasnt!!! I never had a whimper about him going to school, not one day, EVER!!

I would suggest stopping nursery and enjoying life with him at home. Dont worry about how he will be at school. He has time before then to change and could really look forward to school.

Hope this makes sense, I am still half asleep.

if you don;t need him to go for work or your sanity then stop sending him. They don't need to go to nursery to get ready for school - that's why the first year of school is called "Reception" not Year 1.

It sounds like he never really settled properly into the first nursery as he always had his brother there as a form of comfort and safety.

It is usually beneficial for children if they go the nursery (ie social & communication skills), but if he's that miserable, just take him out - try and find out exactly how he is at the nusery first.

Thank you all for your advice - great to get impartial point of view from you. Will speak to them tomorrow, & see about half days - hadn't even thought of that!! Feel much better about taking him out now though (if it comes to that), will see how he goes on first day back tomorrow.
Thanks again all xx

could he go more frequently for shorter periods, so there is not such a long gap between visits (and he doesn;t need to wait so long for you)