anyone else's dc still crying at preschool?

[familyfun]

dd 3.3 started preschool 2 1/2 weeks ago, first day she clung to me and cried but settled within 5 mins and was happy for rest of 3 hrs.
days 2,3,4,5,6,7 skipped in happily and loved it.
day 8 got scared in toilet by another child and cried but fine after.
day 9 cried going to toilet.
days 10,11,12 (today) she has cried her eyes out when being left, clung to me, had to be passed to teacher and got upset during the sessions and sys he doesnt like school anymore, wants me, wants to stay home, as she was getting dressed she said she would be sad at school.
it is breaking my heart to leave her.
teacher had mentioned me moving her to the older group (3 1/2-4) as she wants to do more sitting down work but i feel dd is so upset she isnt emotionally ready.
I am due dc2 in 7 weeks so really need to try and settle dd somehow.
any tips on how to handle this?
not sure whether to stress how great school is and her lovely new friends or just take her pick her up and not mention it inbetween just have fun together.
at the moment im just counting down the days till the weekend/half term when there are no tears.
help.

Hi

My DS1 was exactly like this only now aged 3.10 is he better I trust the preschool and try and keep cheery and happy outwards at least.

There was times when I would leave the preschool and cry in the car, I felt awful

Are you 100% happy with the preschool, do you have any worrys about the care your daughter is receiving?

She is a first born and therefore probably at the moment is going through a bit of seperation anxiety.

I reccomend asking questions to the teachers about how she is the majority of the time, remembering she has had you with her for 3.3 years and doesnt want to give you up, does she take a comforter with her?

It will get better, but remember its not mandatory (in the UK anyway)

i am happy with the preschool, its lovely and the teacher and assistant are very caring and always pick dd up and cuddle her.

dd is happy when they play outside and happy when they paint or sit and do beads etc but aparently wonders around lost when the other kid go off to do dolls house/cars etc, she doesnt get free play and wants instruction.

she doesnt take her teddy, i take it to meet her after.

teacher says she cries when i leave an gets herself very upset, she also cries when going to the toilet, she says she can manage but gets upset when she struggles redressing a bit and wont ask for help. at home she often goes alone to the toilet.

its a lovley school where i hope she will stay till 11 so i want her to settle

she always walks out smiling and has made friends with a few girls who she mentions.

From your reply it sounds as if she does need more time to settle in and get used to how things work.

If possible I would consider letting her keep her teddy with her as it may give her some reassurance and something that makes things feel a bit more safe if she is allowed to keep it with her

It probably won't take long before she is excited and running in and won't need her teddy and you will be in the way of her getting on and playing :)

How much free play do you do at home? Maybe it would help if you could withdraw some of your input to her playing to get her used to initiating the play

i dont really do free play at home
she normally says what shall we do now and always wants me to play with her. if im cooking or busy she helps me or brings a toy nearby and plays. when her gtrandparents visit she is the only grandchild so gets unlimited attention then too.

she played lovley all morning then aftre lunch she said "im happy at home ill be sad at school", i told her to look forward to seeing her friends and she said "school is scary as im alone" and she had a big cuddle. i tried saying how fun it was and how all her older friends are at school too but she is so sad.

before we went she did her homework happily and skipped all the way there singing and played outside with her friends, hung her coat up and put in her book bag, then as soon as she got to the carpet she cried and as i left she was trying to climb off the teachers lap and waving to me crying.

not sure how long i can do this.

Poor you. I'm not totally sure what the answer is, but I do understand that with another baby on the way, you want her to gain a little independence from you.

Have you thought about looking for a childminder who is registered with Ofsted for the 'early years education' curriculum? You'd get some free hours per week in term time (I think it's 12 or 15 hours) and if the childminder has other children he or she looks after, then your dd would have the stimulation of other children too.... But with a childminder, she might get that little bit of extra personal attention that she doesn't at a pre-school?

I so sympathise with your posts! My dd is 2.10 and I have dc2 due in 9 weeks. My DH or my mum looks after her on my work days but mostly she is with me. She starts pre-school (5 mornings a week) in April so I am keen to ease her into being away from family, so have enrolled her in a playgroup (only one session available weekly). She was ok the first week as I was there, but I tried leaving her this week...called them after half an hour and was actually asked to come back as she was so distressed. When I got there I nearly burst into tears myself when I saw her little teary face. Just felt overwhelmed by how vulnerable she looked. No words of wisdom as you can see, but lots of sympathy. It is so tough encouraging them to be independent.