What to do?! 2.5yr old DS cries every morning when taking him to playgroup

[YummyMummy1208]

My DS is just over 2 and a half and we have a LO due in 4 weeks so i signed him up to start full days at playgroup in September thinking it would work well in the last few weeks before my due date giving me a few days to rest whilst he plays at playgroup.

However...we are in week 4 now and each morning when i drop him off, as soon as we walk in the door he runs back to me holding my legs and saying 'want mummy!' then starting to sob uncontrollably.

It even started at home thismorning - when gathering our bags to leave the house he ran up to me saying 'no, want mummy'. It was supposed to be a way for me to have a bit of stress release but to be honest its stressing me out each week thinking about having to take him back.

Hes due to go back in the morning and i just dont know what to do. I have had to pay upfront at the beginning of the term for the whole half term which ends the week of my due date so if i drop him out i will lose all this money - 16.50 a day which works out around £150 left of sessions he has yet to go to.

I know at the end of the day money isnt important if hes not liking it but when i pick him up he's always seemed happy and they say he's fine as soon as i go and they distract him but his behaviour has been a lot different today - he hasnt been the carefree loving little boy he usually is with me, he totally refused to ackowledge my mum (who usually babysits for him 2 days a week) and then his dad when he came home from work and he's just generally been very irritable and sensitive - crying at the slightest thing.

Am i being silly to think of pulling him out and throwing all that money i saved up down the drain, what would you do in my situation or what did you do if it happened to you?
If i was working then i would see it that he had to go but the fact is im sat at home 'resting' and therefore he could be home with me if he really isnt happy going there.

Dont know what to do and the stress is killing me so please help!

no, not silly at all. i did the same with my ds when i first put him in pre-school. he just wasn't ready for it

if i was in your situatiojn i would take him out,
it's likely that this is also to do with the new baby coming, he knows it's imminent and he's aware that strange thbings are happening and he wants YOU right now to give him the security he needs.

and you don't need the stress of having to go through this all the time either.

take him out and enjoy the last few weeks of freedom together

Thanks for the advice thisisyesterday

Im just so torn as what to do! - mainly the money issue as we arent exactly flush and my OH is cringing at the thought of me wasting £150 like that.

I do think the baby issue is a part of it as he had already started getting a bit anxious every time i went to work a few weeks before starting playgroup as if he thought i wasnt going to come back or something which was strange as ive been back at work for a year and a half full time so he is used to me leaving him.

Has your DS started school again now and did he take to it better second time around?
I think perhaps i was a little naive at thinking it was a similar environment to the babysitter he used to go to but in reality its totally different - lots more children with a lot less attention from adults and you're right he does just want Mummy right now, maybe he would be ready in another 6 months but i just dont think he is atm.

Next thing - telling playgroup!! I feel as though im insulting their child care by dropping him out, and in my emotional state ill end up in tears when i start to try and explain my reasons why (the joys of pregnancy!) They must think im a right emotional wreck, i walk out every morning after seeing him upset and end up sobbing.

yes ds1 started again about 6 months later, when he ASKED if he could go again.
that was coupled with a sudden interest in other children- playing with them in the park etc, which he had never really done before

he was fine from then on.

the money is galling, i agree

If it's a voluntary committe led Pre-School you could always explain why you've made the decision and ask if they could let you "bank" some off the money for some free sessions later on. They would keep the money but if you went back later on when he's older you would get some benefit. It's worth asking anyway.

Hmm toomanyprojects, thats a good idea. Must ask about that one.

I havent taken him in today (he does mon and tue each week), asked him thismorning does he want to go and got the reply 'no playgroup today' so i though we would have some cuddle time together instead!

I too am going through the exact same thing as you yummymummy1208 .
I am due with my second in december and wanted my ds aged 2.3 to be happy at pre school before the next one arrives. However as you found, dropping him off on his one morning a week there has become quite traumatic for both of us and like you they tell me that he perks up really quickly after I have gone, but he starts crying again as soon as he sees me at pick up time. Its his behaviour in between sessions that has really got me concerned, he won't let me out of his sight at all even at home and especially when we go to one of the 3 mother and toddler groups we go to, where he used to be so happy and confident, now he just sits on my knee with his arms tightly wrapped around my neck. I too am debating whether to pull him out of pre school, at the moment my heart is telling me he just isn't ready for it yet.
Any advice always appreciated!

I think your new baby must be having some effect. Esp if he previously coped with being away from you for a whole day while you worked. Assuming that he was in nursery not with your mum/MIL. Does he perhaps not like this particular pre school?

Personally I think children can be too young for pre school. I started and quickly stopped DS1 when he was 2.2 (new baby born)and have just started him at a different playgroup 2x mornings/week as he seemed ready - asking for friends etc.

He seems to have enjoyed himself when I pick him up although today he said it was not fun. He is coming out with some slightly odd things too. He agreed to go last week ' but this is the last time, mummy'!

Actually made himself sick crying so much on drive to playgroup this am. Playgroup say this is all normal . Planning to send him again next week but keep an open mind.

In your position yummy I would probably pull him out. A new baby is such a big change for a toddler I dont think they need any additional stress. Like the idea of suspending the fees if possible.