Should we reserve a nursery place?

[Barbeasty]

I will be going back to work in January, when my DD will be just over 6 months old.

I will be starting back full time and, due to a change in boss, colleagues and job requirements, I won't know until I've started back whether it's appropriate for me to condense my hours and go to 4 days a week.

My MIL is desperate to provide childcare, and we have said yes. However she is older and suffers from arthritis which is not going to get any better. When she looked after 3 grandchildren recently she was exhausted after a couple of days. Whilst I am delighted that DD will get to spend lots of time with her granny, and that she will be cared for within the family, I am worried that it may turn out to be too much at 5 days every week.

DH has agreed to go and look at a nursery who have days available at the moment from January. But, anything could happen in the next 3 months and I don't want to find we need a nursery place and none are available.

Is it worth paying a deposit (£50) to secure a place "just in case" for one or two days, which would make the week manageable for my MIL? The nursery runs waiting lists, so in theory they would be able to fill the place if we didn't take it and we would just have lost the deposit whilst hedging our bets. Any advice?

i think it's definitely worth paying if it's only £50.

Oops. Missed an all-important digit. To reserve a place would be £150

I should add that DH is really against the idea of going to nursery, even for one day. I see his point when we have a family solution, he also feels that it would be insulting to my MIL if she found out that we'd even looked elsewhere, so this is all top-secret!

But... he isn't the one being asked "gentle" probing questions about the hours I will be working, or having comments about dealing with weaning & potty training etc, and I do feel that if I ever got the chance of something like promotion, I would have to consider my MIL before anything else! All those comments about how lovely it would be if I could go part time (can't afford it!)

ahh ok, yes that;s a bit different.

i think if I were you I would book him in for at least one day a week, or perhaps a couple of afternoons if that could work out?

like you say, looking after a little one is really hard work, and even though your MIL wants to do it she may find it too much.
and even if she doesn't then it;s still not going to hurt if he is somewhere else once a week- and you can always take him out of nursery after a month or however long you've paid for...

have a chat with the MIL I reckon, tell her about the nursery and just see what she thinks?

Thanks. We went and looked at one today which DH has said he would be happy to use if necessary. And finally he conceded to offer to his mum that we could ease her in by sending DD somewhere for one day a week (but not tell her we've already chosen somewhere!) and at least that way she could choose the day that was best for her rather than us arbitrarily going for Wednesday to split the week. If she says no we might think about booking a place for March/.April and accept that if all goes well we will be writing off the deposit.