Is a stand-alone pre-school very different from a school attached nursery?

[NoseyNooNoo]

My DD has had one year at a stand alone pre-school. It was lovely and friendly. I felt very welcome there as did DD. When we arrived we would both go in, sort out her coat and bag and then take her through to main room and then a similar scenario on pick up which took place in the main room. The key workers were all known by first names. I'd leave a bag each day on her hook with a change of clothes appropriate to the weather.

DD's new school attached nursery (we moved so had to change) seems very cold in comparison. We're supposed to just leave them at the door and collect at the door, not being allowed in. Frankly, I want to see where my daughter has been all day. Is this unreasonable? The teacher and assistants are all 'Mrs X' which seems very formal at this stage. Also, I'm expected to leave a bag, which I may not retrieve until July next year with a change of clothes - seems a bit formal to me, can't I just choose something depending on the weather - and when I was told this I was spoken to as though I was a naughty child.

I still haven't had a chat with any of the staff yet and can't see how I will on an ongoing basis given that I'm not allowed in. On the first day DD was a bit upset at my departure and it was a struggle enough then to get an adult's attention to take her as I left.

So, is this how school-attached nurseries are or is this just a rather stuffy nursery?

Sounds like a stuffy one - ds2's reception class is nothing like that" Although the teachers are all Mrs x.

BTW, I know I'm being a bit PFB here but I'm just surprised by the stuffy nature, especially in comparison to DD's previous setting which was so welcoming from day 1.

I think it is more to do with different places having different rules rather than school attached/independent. DD1 goes to 2 different stand alone preschools. One is first names one is Mrs X. The change of clothes does seem odd as how can you change them when used if the bag doesn't come home for you to check?! I have no experinece of school nurseries buit I think they are more formal.

Unfortunately, I think this is the norm at school nurseries, partly because the staffing levels are so different - usually teacher plus nursery nurse or similar.At my pre-school we have 1 adult to 4/5 children. Also pre-schools value parents' input more I believe and generally make more time for parents knowing this is often the child's first experience of being away from them or their close family. having said that, if your DD was distressed I'm sure they would talk to you.

Personally I am not that keen on school nurseries, because it does seem very formal for such young children - wearing uniform, calling it "school" etc. I've also got the impression that they are less flexible in terms of having to go 5 days, taking days off etc.

My DD1 went to a preschool attached to her school last year and it was NOTHING like that. We could go in and talk to the teachers as much as we wanted to on a morning and keep going in until the little ones felt comfy with us going (some parents went in all year).

DD1 is now in reception as of this week and although they don't seem to mind us parents going in (3 mornings now) they are encouraging us to get them to go independently ASAP. Suits me fine as it stops DD2 getting settled into the toys and than having to yank her away crying.

So yes, it does sound a bit harsh.

DD is at a stand alone pre-school. The staff are all called Mrs/ Miss X by the children, but the atmosphere is very relaxed and the parents are allowed to come in and watch their children at the end of the sessions.

DD has had her settling in session and first full session and I am so happy with how warm, friendly and comforting the staff are - DD is a PFB (or should that be precious only born) who hasn't really left my side since she was born in Aug 07!

In my very limited experience, it does sound a little harsh and a little too formal/ structured for young children.

I think generally nurseries attached to schools are more formal, although what you describe sounds a bit extreme! I think it may be hard for a child to understand the change when they go from nursery to reception if they're in the same building etc. but all of a sudden the rules have changed. I think they keep the nursery consistent with the school to a certain extent.

My older two charges both went to a school nursery where they wore uniform (similar, but slightly more casual than the school uniform), the teachers were Mrs/Miss X, they went in by themselves (though the teacher was waiting for them at the door and always greeted with a cuddle and 'good morning X') and they participated in assembly etc. They had an 'open classroom' a couple of times a term and you were free to arrange a meeting with the teacher if you wanted, but mostly you did't go into the classroom. The school nursery was great in the sense that the build-up to 'big school' happened over a year rather than having a week to settle in. They slowly build them up to playing in the big playground, they have a visit to the classroom for next year, they know who their teacher will be and it's the same children in reception as it was in nursery so they have their friends there when they start. Plus the nursery teachers came round and did a home visit before they started, which was lovely.

They both loved nursery and couldn't wait to go to big school so they could stay all day!