Am I wrong

[Carter20012]

The last few years I’ve really wanted a homestead someplace where I can grow food year round. I knew I would never have enough money to do it on my own and my mother also liked the idea of having a homestead so we decided my mother and I were going to go half and half on land and build 2 houses on it, one for her, one for me. I would be doing almost all of the livestock care and gardening, and pretty much anything else that goes into being self sufficient. That was okay with me because I enjoy that stuff but Because so much would be going into this lifestyle I also decided that I would change my career to farming so I could do everything at once and I’ve started to get really excited about it! Well we’re about 5 months away from moving and my mother just told me that her son (my half brother, whom I don’t get along with at all) is going to live with us until he’s 18 and them build a house on our land and live there, potentially forever. We originally planned on him maybe staying in the summer or for half the summer so he could spend the other half with his father but she came home after talking to them about it with this devastating news and she didn’t even consult me. I backed out of going half and half with her at this point because I don’t want to put every cent I have and every ounce of blood sweat and tears that will be going into this just to have to be around someone that I don’t get along with at all, While I’m working as a farmer on the land, playing in the yard with my kids, literally doing everything that goes into it. She said he would pay 1/3 of it but I feel that being around him all the time would make my dream feel like a chore. not To mention he won’t be paying any of the down payment. We’ve had this plan for about two years and in one conversation my dream just crumbled. Like I said before, there’s no way I can afford it on my own. I just don’t know what to do at this point and she thinks I’m being ridiculous and I feel like she didn’t give me much of a choice, after all it’s supposed to be OUR homestead not just hers.

I understand why you feel this way. That seems unfair to make such a huge alteration at this late stage. Is it realistic that your half brother would want to have a house there when he is 18 (Did I read that right?).

I suppose her argument is that it is her investment and she can do what she wants with her.

Leaving the emotional exhaustion of it to one side (I know that's virtually impossible) but
A) is it something that you could tolerate once you get used to it?
B) can you back out and consider some kind of Plan B without her?

You're surprised that your mum isn't excluding her other child from living with her? Really... are you really surprised!? Gone are the days of parents waving their kids off at 16, 17, 18 and that being it.

I totally agree that I would only enter into a scenario like this if I liked everyone involved, so you're not wrong on that count but you were short-sighted to not foresee that your mum's other child might end up being part of it.

Your brother is a child right? And you want to exclude him from living with his mum? And you're unhappy about a child not paying anything towards the down payment? Sorry but you need to give yourself a serious talking too. Yes you are wrong. Very, very wrong.