What do you do to mitigate against the effects of lifes knocks?

[FindingMeno]

I was thinking about ltb threads and advice to 'get your ducks in a row'- and thought of how we should generally 'get our ducks in a row' in life so when knocks come our way we can best deal with them.
I'm wondering what other people do, or what they think it would be wise to do, to prep for general life downturns ( illness, death of spouse, job loss, eviction, divorce etc)?
After all, prepping is primarily being prepared for the most likely events rather than alien invasion etc.

Bump

I think saving up indefinitely with no short term goal is a really sensible idea, even tiny amounts frequently when things are going good. Personal savings, not shared.

@Isthatthebestyoucando

I think saving up indefinitely with no short term goal is a really sensible idea, even tiny amounts frequently when things are going good. Personal savings, not shared.

I agree. I guess it's also a very good plan to have an idea of the household income and expenditure and what accounts/ investments/ debts your partner has.

Spending less than you get was my first thought. If the washing machine breaks it is worth having money saved to replace it, for example. Or be able to afford the launderette..

Cultivating friendships so that you can borrow space in someone's freezer if yours breaks. Know people who can let you have a replacement cheap.

Learning skills that save you money.

Teach your kids resilience. Praise them for trying hard and keeping going. Teach them to save up and budget.

That's a good observation. I have a friend who always seems to land on her feet - partly due to lots of friends. Always someone who can help out with dc, pass her hand me downs, offer things, knows about stuff etc. She's nice but also helps she has a big family and lived in the area since being a child so has cultivated lots of friendships over time.

Don't over hype ideas or perspectives, try to be level headed, realistic, and more of a wait and see, rather than over hype x situations. Always try to have a back up plan too. Think bad boys and plan b.

Also practical things like sorting a will, pension, routine health checks eg cholesterol, smear tests etc.

I'd also get dc to think about career prospects - you can't always predict it (think pilots and covid), but some vocational careers seem a much safer bet ie redundancies.

Home ownership (paid off or ability to pay it off). Physical fitness.
Some experience with positive resilience; past hx of managing in a power outage/snow storm, evacuation supplies at hand for yourself and ability to host one other person.
Little things that you managed so you feel good about bigger situations.

I’ve been thinking about this lately. but in a slightly different context. For example, a a single woman, what do I need to be most prepared for, and am I?

My concerns that something could happen were in home security (intruder), home maintenance (big thing goes wrong I don’t know how to fix), income threatening injury (as only one salary), and general emergency (flood, fire etc and have to evacuate).

To address these, I got (or am getting):

• income protection insurance
• have an emergency fund of 6 months expenses (would like to build to 12)
• be ahead on mortgage for 6 months (build to 12)
• some cash in the house for an emergency
• security camera outside and inside house
• all devices (iPhone, iPad and computer) backed up to the cloud if any are stolen
• safe bolted to floor in house
• key safe
• inside safe also doubles as my “what to grab if I had to evacuate” important documents, and also is the place for anyone to start if I die and they need to get an overview of my affairs/assets
• health - good strength and fitness, so I could carry things/walk in an emergency
• mental health - good sense of resilience, problem solving and a positive attitude
• strong family and community and community ties for both practical and emotional help in an emergency
• spare room always ready to help others
• I have a list on my phone if what to grab in an evacuation. It’s in decendikg order of importance. I figure I will be panicking abit, so if I just pull up the list and work as far down it (packing the car as much as I can) until I have to leave, I will have all the important, sentimental and practical things in order of importance.
• decluttered house (only what I need). This one might sound odd, but in an emergency evacuation it is easier to get what you need and leave if your house is already organised. You also have already been through everything and know that it is worth keeping and exactly where it is.

I’d like to have more in the food prep area - eg growing my own food, but haven’t thought this through yet.

I should have added;

• Health - am in good health, but go to the doctor, optometrist and dentist at least once a year around 1 Feb for check ups in all three
• Financial/Legal check up - when I do my Tex return, I also check all my bank accounts and retirement funds and do a 1 page statement of current assets/liabilities to go in the safe. I also check my Will and POA that are in there, to see if they need updating of if they are still relevant. I don’t like doing this (makes me feel morbid) but I think it will be very helpful to whomever administers my affairs.

F

These are all brilliant!

@SpringDaisies

I’ve been thinking about this lately. but in a slightly different context. For example, a a single woman, what do I need to be most prepared for, and am I?

My concerns that something could happen were in home security (intruder), home maintenance (big thing goes wrong I don’t know how to fix), income threatening injury (as only one salary), and general emergency (flood, fire etc and have to evacuate).

To address these, I got (or am getting):

• income protection insurance
• have an emergency fund of 6 months expenses (would like to build to 12)
• be ahead on mortgage for 6 months (build to 12)
• some cash in the house for an emergency
• security camera outside and inside house
• all devices (iPhone, iPad and computer) backed up to the cloud if any are stolen
• safe bolted to floor in house
• key safe
• inside safe also doubles as my “what to grab if I had to evacuate” important documents, and also is the place for anyone to start if I die and they need to get an overview of my affairs/assets
• health - good strength and fitness, so I could carry things/walk in an emergency
• mental health - good sense of resilience, problem solving and a positive attitude
• strong family and community and community ties for both practical and emotional help in an emergency
• spare room always ready to help others
• I have a list on my phone if what to grab in an evacuation. It’s in decendikg order of importance. I figure I will be panicking abit, so if I just pull up the list and work as far down it (packing the car as much as I can) until I have to leave, I will have all the important, sentimental and practical things in order of importance.
• decluttered house (only what I need). This one might sound odd, but in an emergency evacuation it is easier to get what you need and leave if your house is already organised. You also have already been through everything and know that it is worth keeping and exactly where it is.

I’d like to have more in the food prep area - eg growing my own food, but haven’t thought this through yet.

@SpringDaisies you sound amazingly prepared. I particularly like the bit about having a decluttered house. If you need something quickly, there is an emergency, or you need to move out quickly, as you say, you know you don't have to sort through masses of surplus. Also, home security is something I think a lot of people don't pay enough attention to - both the big stuff, and the easy stuff like checking smoke alarms. I agree that check lists ( for a crisis, but also other eventualities such as going on holiday) are a great back up to have. Including a list of medical conditions, medications, and Dr's details, and a pre-written run- down of directions to your home. Our minds can so often freeze under stress.

The need to cultivate friendships is a really good one too.
I guess the best thing is to offer help first to someone else who needs it. Then, at 'worst' you've helped someone out, but you potentially may have someone there willing to return the favour.

Please let "getting your ducks in a row" include de cluttering your home, giving away, selling or donating unwanted items whilst you are still active, healthy and well enough to do so. This should include making a will, instructing a power of attorney and advising loved ones or trusted ones of your end of life wishes. My in laws have both recently become unwell and moved into a care home and we are having to sort their house ready for sale. It has been an absolute nightmare, brand new and unworn clothes in much too small sizes still with labels on from the 80's and 90's, non-essential paperwork from the early 2000's including piles and piles of shopping receipts and empty envelopes, bags, boxes, gift bags, drawers, cupboards full of paperwork. At least 30 vases, unworn high heeled shoes and slippers still in boxes etc etc. We have no idea if they have a will or if it is lodged somewhere and no idea of their end of life wishes because none of their sons are or have ever been willing to ask the questions. Have end of life conversations now so that everyone is informed.

@Diversion my PIL’a were exactly the same and it’s made me crack on and de clutter our house too. We weren’t hoarder level but had way too many clothes, shoes etc.

Have those awkward conversations… my husband and I have sat down and discussed our preferences in a range of situations and have them in writing which we review yearly (takes about 5 mins each January). It covers things like what medical intervention we would/ wouldn’t want, and in what circumstances, would we want a dnr, any particular requirements re funeral, our possessions etc. We haven’t actually got round to writing a will so we do need to prioritise this, but at least for now we both know what the other wants and trust each other to follow this.
I also agree that some savings is important. I also keep some spare food in at all times, including a couple of batch cooked meals in my freezer. Not so much for zombie attacks but little things like if you are unwell there are a couple of go to options available, or if you can’t get to the shop for any reason eg bad weather.

Having money saved but easy to access has been invaluable to us a few times. Like when the boiler blew up 4 days before Christmas 2 years ago, or when DFIL suddenly became terminally ill hours away and we only had 1 car so needed to get a 2nd one fast so DH could be there and mobile, and I could be here with DD at school but get down there as well.

For us, we all have a lot of clothes, suitable for various occasions. As DH and I have both had to attend very formal events at very short notice. But also that we are very busy, so we wash and dry things all week but only fold and sort at the weekend, and sometimes life gets in the way of that (weather, too busy, DD having difficulties etc) - but by having a lot, we are under a lot less stress to HAVE to do laundry on a very frequent basis.

I also do things like keeping all passports and paperwork together and up to date. And both of us have a habit of refilling our washbags as soon as we get home from trips - so that we can grab and go if necessary (mostly it's work travel and there is some notice but I have gone the same day a few times, but when DFIL was ill, that was a case of 5.30pm call while on the train home and being on the road that night, and then spending 6 weeks constantly up and down the road with DH effectively moving down and DD and I going every weekend, and very frequent weekend trips for the following 4-6 months).

Growing up in the rural countryside in the 1970s/80s, with frequent powercuts and rampant inflation, I know the value of a proper pantry. I might live in the suburbs of a city now, but life is hectic, so I have a fairly well stocked kitchen generally and can manage without needing to go to shops other than for milk and bread for a good while if things get nuts. But it meant that for things like bad storms, winters with bad snow (eg. 2009/10/11), or when Covid struck, we have not been needing to rush out and panic buy everything in sight. We tend to have the ingredients to make a range of meals and snacks, and enough to keep us going with minimal extras.

And the same for first aid/medicines, and fuel for the fire. I always have a reasonable stock of things we use a lot. I buy my firewood when I still have a full sack left, or at least 2 weeks before Christmas, or as soon as the longer range weather forecasts have seriously bad weather in them - depending on what I need at any one time. And we always check that we still have gas for BBQ at the end of summer - as that is a very useful alternate cooking method if the electricity is out (gas hob needs electricity for the safety mechanism to work).

I am working on decluttering at the moment - reducing the overstocked pantry I had because of covid/Brexit combined, and the inability to get things we normally would, throwing out older clothes that I will take a long time to lose (covid 2 stones) weight to fit and which are less loved, sorting the paperwork basket which we had ignored for 3 years (bills paid but thrown into the basket to file later) etc.

I’m Disabled so had plenty hospital admissions so now always keep bag packed with everything I need for few days. Nothing worse asking friend or neighbour have go and grab you some knickers when all you have left is random sexy or period ones because rest are in the wash! This also includes long length phone charger and cash.

Have a fire prove folder for essential documents and contents insurance. Also written numbers and emails or family and friends. Should my phone be damaged I would not have any numbers off the top of my head.

Always cash in flat. Lift been broken for few days and needed neighbour to get some medication that couldn’t get online. But handy if all you need is pint of milk and don’t want to £40 online shop.

Knowing how turn off electric gas and water is good and can limit damage if you or neighbours have an emergency.

I would add having a pension to that (sorry if its already been said). I read so many threads on here where women become sahms but their idea of equality is spending their savings to contribute equally to the household pot - while he gets free childcare and his career goes from strength to strength. Pension should be one of the very top priorities. Old age poverty is just as likely as any of the other crises we prep for.