How do you make your children resilient?

[Muddytoes1]

Hi all, a bit new to preppers thread but I’ve been getting super anxious recently about climate change and the future that my kids are likely to face without very radical (and very unlikely) action. I have been finding it helpful to think of practical things I can do to not only reduce our family emissions but also to prepare for future problems. You have some great threads on here about stockpiling and skills to learn but I was wondering, is there anything you do to help your kids develop into resilient people? People who will be able to adapt to change, who won’t panic in a crisis, who will work as a team to solve problems etc. I have a nearly 4yo and a baby and keen to develop these skills but not really sure how. I know they are still very young but I want to get into good habits. Thank you! Xx

My dd is a mix of preteen drama queen snowflake and pretty stoic. It's a work in progress. I can't make her someone she isn't but we sneak in activities that she laps up - long country walks since infancy (obviously buggy and sling in the early days) that sort of thing. If she sees a woodlouse she screams. But there was a spider in her room the other day which darted under some furniture. Me at that age would have screamed and panicked. She shrugged it off.

Beavers/cubs/scouts is very good for developing those sorts of skills.
Eg if you don’t build and light a fire you aren’t going to be eating (well you will as they won’t let you starve), if you don’t put your tent up right you are going to get wet.
Things like map reading, problem solving, working as a team etc all give them transferable skills and confidence for the other areas of their life.

Cooking is another skill that’s good to learn and you can start that with toddlers. I found the Katie I can cook book good for that age.

Bushcraft skills!

Thanks all! Great idea about Beavers. Don’t think they can start until 6 but there is a woodland pre school group around here that does some of that kind of thing. Cooking is also a great idea and we are not great at doing this with her as she is very naughty and doesn’t follow instructions so it gets quite tense but maybe if we practise more it will get easier. Also have started going swimming regularly and was thinking when older maybe a martial art? Not sure how old you have to be for that though. I’ve heard of people doing a ‘no electric for a week’ type activity with their family. Has anyone tried this?

We have a piece of woodland and have taught the kids to light fires and cook basic meals but not in the sense of prepping, just because we like them being able to do that. All of them are at beavers & cubs too. They play out as well so are able to negotiate social situations to a degree and are confident and independent. But we are lucky to have these opportunities. My BP/DP’s kids also have an allotment with their mum so know about growing veg etc. I’m on a waiting list for one with my DS!

(They are all confident and competent swimmers as we live by the sea and they have lessons weekly)

If you did want to do Beavers it's worth getting on waiting lists asap. It's bonkers round here.
Otherwise I think resilience is taught by not leaping in the minute things go wrong. By things like not helping children climb things that are beyond them but letting them get there in their own time so that when they do get there it is their own achievement due to perseverance.
Thinks like giving age appropriate jobs will also help.
Have a look at www.janetlansbury.com loads of really sensible advice on how to help your kids develop into well rounded people.

@Muddytoes1 I totally get that anxiety. If you google Positive Deep Adaptation there is a facebook group which started earlier this year, for people who have read the deep adaptation paper and want some support. There are loads of parents on there and questions like yours get asked a lot.
From my point of view I don't want to tell my child yet about what might be coming so I'm focusing on giving him self esteem and inner strength as well as practical skills and the ability to adapt to different situations, i.e having an awareness that the world in the future might look quite different to the one we inhabit now so it isn't a massive shock. I'm also trying not to pass on my own fear to him but that is difficult and he's becoming more aware of the news and what I read by looking over my shoulder!

DS's school teach resilience through an approach called Growth Mindset. It essentially rewards persistence and effort rather than result. I also try to teach DS to tolerate discomfort, but that's a work in progress. E.g. if he's cold tell him to move a bit faster, if he's hungry don't necessarily feed him instantly. Explain it's OK to be a bit tired, cold, hungry etc... sometimes. Obviously never to his detriment, just more like I was parented, rather than overly pandering as seems to often happen today.

Beavers might have a waiting list so worth while looking before 6.

Wild camping
Being fit
Learning how to plant and grow food
Basic DIY skills- tinkering with stuff. Look at circuitry kits for kids.
Fishing
Orienteering/map reading

These are all things you could do as a family and learn together.

As well as some of the good practical suggestions above I'd say just lead by example. They could pick up on your anxieties so instead you be the calm role model for them, dont turn dramas into crisis etc and let them see you calmly reacting to everyday problems, thinking stuff through instead of having a meltdown or relying on others to sort out ect.

Just popped back to this and saw the extra replies which were really helpful! Thanks for taking the time to respond. @HuggedTheRedwoods your suggestion is important and one we, in particular dh need to do better at. We are moving at the moment and everything seems to be a ‘crisis’. Even putting up a picture slightly wonky or a mark in the new carpets is setting him off. He’s not normally like this so hoping he’ll chill out a bit once we are settled but I will talk to him as hadn’t thought about it in that context before.