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Premature birth

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Original poster

My son was born on Monday at 35+1 because of IUGR

35 replies

bearcrumble · 21/02/2010 14:06

I'm still in hospital too, on a ward on the other side of the stairwell from the neonatal unit.

I think things are going pretty well but I feel so clueless. I'm allowed to go in every 6 hours for about an hour to change him and do some kangaroo care and he's been suckling the past couple of days on and off.

I really want to see him and feed him more often. Is this me being selfish? I love him so much, he is so beautiful and I just want to be there for him.

I sit in my room and cry and imagine people dropping him and other stuff like that. I know they won't but it is so hard being separated.

I love him so much.

We've only spoken to one paediatrician and that was on about day 2 and all he said was that he could be discharged any time up to his due date.

There's nothing wrong with him apart from his size. He's 4lb5oz. He is mostly fed through his ng tube. He gets 44ml every three hours. But as I said he suckles as well.

I've been using a breast pump since yesterday and most of his feeds are at least half my stuff.

I don't really know why they're still keeping me in but I don't want to complain because we don't live anywhere near this hospital. I was transferred out from King's College London to her (St Helier) for my caesarian because there weren't any neonatal cots there.

He's very alert and reactive. I'm so proud of my little boy.

I really want to get more milk going so he can have 100% my stuff. I've got a hand pump but I haven't tried the electric one yet.

This is us: tinypic.com/view.php?pic=1zoyiw5&s=6

OP posts:
ilovesprouts · 21/02/2010 14:09

congrats hope your ds is ok ,link dont work tho

Ewe · 21/02/2010 14:12

Congratulations! He is adorable

Why can you only go down and see him every six hours? That doesn't sound right.

My DD was in the neo natal unit in the same trust as you and I had unlimited access to her and pumped every 2-3 hours using hospital grade pumps.

For you, it's better to be in the hospital I think than be discharged and having to keep visiting, I was discharged after two days and DD was in for 10 days so it was tricky getting the balance between resting and getting in to see her. I would often want to drive over in middle of the night and stuff which retrospectively wasn't terribly sensible!

glittery · 21/02/2010 14:14

Aww thats a lovely pic, he is just beautiful!

my son was born at 26 weeks and to be honest i was glued to the incubator for about 10 hours every day so know how you feel!
They offerred me a room to stay in the hospital but i only stayed about 15mins away so i would go up after the docs rounds in the morning, stay till 5pm, go home for a quick bite to eat then back up till about 10pm, the nurses never said anything except to ask if i was hungry/needed a drink etc?

why are they only letting you in every 6 hours tho? surely you should be allowed to spend as much time as possible with him?

Ewe · 21/02/2010 14:16

Link works if you copy and paste it sprouts.

AvrilHeytch · 21/02/2010 14:19

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AvrilHeytch · 21/02/2010 14:20

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Original poster
bearcrumble · 21/02/2010 14:27

Thank you all for the replies. I think I used up all my assertiveness over the weekend demanding they do the caesarian NOW as my consultant said they had to get him out asap on Friday (finally got the op on Monday).

I think I will go in for every feed and try to get him to breastfeed.

I wish people would tell me what's going on both with him and with me - I had deranged liver function and they did another LFT blood test yesterday but no one has told me how the results were. I've only seen one doctor since I've been down on this ward and I think that was Tuesday.

Now I feel like I am letting the baby down by not being with him enough. Oh God. Sorry.

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AvrilHeytch · 21/02/2010 15:17

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AvrilHeytch · 21/02/2010 15:21

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darcymum · 21/02/2010 15:30

He's beautiful, oh and he's looking right at you (that is you isn't it?) I don't blame you being proud, you should be.

What is his mane?

Demand to be with his as much as you can but don't neglect your own recovery.

Original poster
bearcrumble · 21/02/2010 15:45

AvrilHeytch - Thank you. Your story sounds very similar. I have to say, they are helping me with the breastfeeding, I have no complaints there. All the baby nurses give me a hand and the one this morning got him to latch on really well. I think I just need to go in for every feed and give him a bit of boob while I'm still here (and we'll try to stay in the neonatal unit for at least 8 hours a day after I've been discharged). I can go in at other times apart from every six hours but I felt like I was getting in the way or worse, tiring him when he needed peace and quiet to grow. There's nothing wrong with just sitting next to his cot with a book is there?

I asked again about the test results and still nothing, however I see from the notes they've left in my room that the two things with high levels (ALP and GGT) were down a bit on Thursday. I'd really like yesterday's results though.

There's something you can take - Motilium - to make you lactate more if you're not having regular contact with the baby. I would so like to give him 100% breast milk. I wonder if they would prescribe me that. I'm going to have a go with the electric pump after we see him at 4.

Darcymum - That is me, yes. Thank you so much. He's called Alexander.

OP posts:
glittery · 21/02/2010 15:53

you wont be getting in the way at all, they will have you doing all the bum changes and feeds in no time! i think they dont want to suggest this at first incase you feel pressurised or arent ready, i think if you ask if theres anything more you can do they will be full of suggestions.
nothing wrong at all with sitting by the cot with a book, you could even read to him, he will love hearing the sound of your voice, it will be a comfort to him like when he was still inside

Original poster
bearcrumble · 21/02/2010 17:47

Thank you Glittery...

I've asked about the electric breast pump and now I have my own attachement and a sterilising tank. It is great - so much faster than the hand pump and I can go over and express any time, night or day. So that's good.

We went in at four and changed him and he had a good suck then - they are talking about dropping the frequency from three hourly to four hourly so I can do all the feeds. That would be really good.

I also found the parents room (my husband knew about it but didn't think to tell me) where there's a nice sofa and a telly and stuff - again it can be used any time of the day or night.

OP posts:
ilovesprouts · 21/02/2010 18:09

awwh hes gawjuss got dd to do link as dont know how to do them hes looking right at you congrats xx

Loujalou · 21/02/2010 18:12

He is beautiful. I am looking at my DS who is nearly 2 and was born at 34 weeks and its hard to believe he used to be so small (4 pounds 9).

It seems like you are getting more comfortable there. I used to just sit reading magazines but enjoying being with him. He does need you and you are not getting in the way. I remember time going so slowly when he was in hospital. I used to be upset as the nurses and doctors gave me contradictory advice. But did manage to BF for over a year, so it can be done.

Make sure you get some rest when you come as when he gets home that will be a thing of the past. Good luck - seems like you are getting to grips with it all.

soremummy · 21/02/2010 18:45

Omg this brought tears to my eyes. My dd weighed in at 4lb 3 and despite being born very unexpectedly at home we had to go to hosp with her she was on neonatal and i was 15 min walk from her no joking. But after the first night i insisted on electric pump and then camped outside the unit everyday so i could see to her they werent giving her the ebm that i was dumping in the fridge but you have to be strong and make sure that they give him your ebm one young nurse told me that they couldnt be bothered with cup feeding but she was and told me to insist that they cup fed her rather than the tube which is easier for them. Congrats on your little one as i look at my nearly 3 yr old its all a distant memory but as for the breastfeeding she only stopped 2 weeks ago and now i feel like she's grown up. Enjoy him cherish him love him and feed him as much as possible !

Original poster
bearcrumble · 21/02/2010 19:38

Thank you Loujalou - things are getting better and I'm getting the hang of it more all the time.

Awww, Soremummy you poor thing - that must have been a terrible shock for you. Were you all by yourself when she arrived?

I can't believe they weren't using your milk. I have to say they are all really lovely and have been encouraging when I ask for help. One really helped with the latch today and he sucked for so long they reduced his tube feed by a quarter.

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AvrilHeytch · 21/02/2010 19:46

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kid · 21/02/2010 19:59

He is gorgeous, congratulations

I hope he is home with you soon and that you get to spend as much time as you want with him while you are in hospital.

ArthurPewty · 21/02/2010 20:09

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MilkNoSugarPlease · 21/02/2010 20:11

He's gorgeous! Beautiful name too!

Hoping everything goes smoothly and he's home with you soon xx

Rebecca41 · 21/02/2010 20:14

My DS was 5 weeks prem too. He spent 10 days in neonatal unit.

He had to stay in an incubator as he needed oxygen, so I wasn't really allowed to hold him much. But I couldn't stay away. I used to sit by his incubator watching him all day and half the night too. I honestly didn't care what the nurses thought - he was my baby and I wasn't going to leave him. I remember seeing a baby in the next incubator crying, and no-one had time to cuddle him, it broke my heart.

I used the hospital electric breast pump, and expressed every 3 hours, day and night. So after a couple of days my milk came through, and he was able to have breast milk for all his feeds (tube-fed). He was breast-fed till 17 months old in the end!

I was due to be discharged several times, but I lived so far away, I begged and pleaded so they let me stay.

I too felt that I wasn't being told anything, it was a nightmare.

Please, be assertive. He is your son, and you can sit with him as much as you like. And to be honest, I don't understand this business about tiring him out. Surely the best thing to do is cuddle him as much as possible?

Original poster
bearcrumble · 21/02/2010 20:24

I have to say hand on heart that they are very encouraging here about the use of expressed breast milk and breast feeding itself. I'm feeling quite lucky now after reading some of these stories. The neonatal nurses will always help me get him to latch on and the last tube feed they reduced by a quarter as they estimated he'd sucked that much. Well they didn't exactly estimate - they sucked it up his tube in a syringe and then put it back again...

Thank you for saying he is lovely. I could hear people compliment him forever!

OP posts:
Original poster
bearcrumble · 21/02/2010 20:29

Yes, Rebecca41 - I am starting to see that I have been a bit cowed by my experience and I need to spend more time with him. I will be sitting with him as much as possible now.

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Wheelybug · 21/02/2010 20:35

Congratulations ! He is gorgeous. I had a 4lb 9oz-er 5 years ago due to IUGR. She managed to hang on in there until 37 weeks so we mostly escaped SCBU.

No advice as no experience of SCBU but just congratulations and good luck.