My son was born on Monday at 35+1 because of IUGR

[bearcrumble]

I'm still in hospital too, on a ward on the other side of the stairwell from the neonatal unit.

I think things are going pretty well but I feel so clueless. I'm allowed to go in every 6 hours for about an hour to change him and do some kangaroo care and he's been suckling the past couple of days on and off.

I really want to see him and feed him more often. Is this me being selfish? I love him so much, he is so beautiful and I just want to be there for him.

I sit in my room and cry and imagine people dropping him and other stuff like that. I know they won't but it is so hard being separated.

I love him so much.

We've only spoken to one paediatrician and that was on about day 2 and all he said was that he could be discharged any time up to his due date.

There's nothing wrong with him apart from his size. He's 4lb5oz. He is mostly fed through his ng tube. He gets 44ml every three hours. But as I said he suckles as well.

I've been using a breast pump since yesterday and most of his feeds are at least half my stuff.

I don't really know why they're still keeping me in but I don't want to complain because we don't live anywhere near this hospital. I was transferred out from King's College London to her (St Helier) for my caesarian because there weren't any neonatal cots there.

He's very alert and reactive. I'm so proud of my little boy.

I really want to get more milk going so he can have 100% my stuff. I've got a hand pump but I haven't tried the electric one yet.

This is us: tinypic.com/view.php?pic=1zoyiw5&s=6

Awww he is so adorable! Congrats!

Things are going so much better since yesterday. I've been expressing with the electric pump every 3 hours and getting a lot more milk and he just breast fed for about 20 mintues so he had to take much less down the tube and he's put on weight - he's 2010g now, bless him.

And I have been in just to sit next to him and no one seemed to think it was a bad thing.

Things are even better today. They've got rid of his apnoea monitor because he didn't have any episodes since he was born a week ago.

He is breastfeeding - we've finally worked out a good position - the one people with twins use, so his body is tucked under my arm. Because of this and to make him hungry so he breastfeeds more he's had his NG feeds reduced.

His feeds are now four hourly so we spend one hour in every four in with him.

I'm making enough milk.

Two of his nursery-mates are in the family rooms with their parents tonight so they can go home tomorrow.

My LFTs are better - but as yet no word about discharging me which I don't mind at all as I like to be near him.

Here he is yesterday: //tinypic.com/r/2dhtnv4/6

Thank you - and now we are rooming in tonight and taking him home tomorrow.

The advice on this thread really helped with our experience of having a baby on the neonatal unit. x

Good luck he looks sooo sweet Things will work out once you get home You are doing brilliantly x

Glad to hear things are going well ! Good luck at home.

Good luck with taking him home it might be a bit scary at first but things will calm down. Its much better than spending time in hospital.

I am so sorry to hear that you are having problems getting information from the staff. Have you tried leaving a note saying that you would like more information, often staff change shifts and everyone assumes that you have been told. Leave a note and ask for a chat about your results and how your baby is doing. The midwives should be supporting you both.

Try using a muslin and place it down your top on the skin around the breast area. Leave if for a few hours then ask the nurses if this can be place under your baby's head as a drawsheet. Baby will recognize your scent, as your skin will smell of breast milk which tastes and smell like amniotic fluid. This will reassure your baby. You can be with your baby as much as you want and when you want. You can also have kangeroo care when you want and do as many or a few of the nappy changes as you want.

Bliss have a charter for parents and are trying to get all units to sign up for this. What you are feeling is what everyone feels in a situation like this, Try keeping a journal as it seems to help people make sense of a very rollercoaster journey.

Thanks everyone. We came home on Saturday and all seems to be going well. He's up to 4lb 10oz. Midwife visited today and didn't have any concerns. He's feeding well and letting us get some sleep at night. I can't wait until he's bigger and we can take him out.

I am being a little bit obsessive about checking his temperature (with my old digital fertility thermometer) and I bought some digital baby scales as well.

He already seems bigger to me, even though he's only 6oz more than he was when he was born.

Here we are at home - www.flickr.com/photos/26339121@N00/4400581327/