Possible premature birth pending, just wanted to write my feelings down

[bluesatinsash]

I'm currently 33 weeks pg with my second child. DS is 3 and was four days overdue weighing 8lb 6oz.

This baby has had an irregular heartbeat picked up at 28-week ante-natal scan. Met the consultant that day who wasn't too concerned as heart was still maturing.

Had my 32-week scan yesterday (due to having section with DS) and all hell broke loose as midwife and student concerned about heartbeat, couldn't get trace, machine wasn't working etc. Sent back through to Stirling to see consultant again with the warning I may have to deliver. Consultant scanned me again and reassured me again that yes hb was irregular but regularly irregular and is going to scan me every week starting tomorrow.

Baby is good size currently weighing 4.5lbs, lots of fluid round him/her. Lots of movements so its one scan at a time.

I went into practical mode last night and explained to DS that baby might be born before xmas, that he/she might be in hospital for wee while etc. DH and me also stepped up a gear on the name front Also getting bag packed so I feel more in control if a scan does send me straight to delivery theatre and just been on Mothercare website looking at tiny baby clothes.

But its kind of sunk in tonight and I'm feeling very low. I had two miscarriages last year and feel I've been pregnant since July 2008 with all the stress that entails.

I know I could still go to term and everything be OK and I know 33 weeks is pretty good gestation but just feel like every day could be baby's birthday and he/she's not due until 18th December .

I'm also 'annoyed' at myself for not thinking this might be a possibility. Spent all pregnancy worrying about miscarrying and have been hit leftfield by this...

Thanks for listening x

Just wanted to say hang in there and take each day at a time. Don't blame yourself or be 'annoyed' - I don't think anyone except those that have had a premature baby before really give any consideration to the fact that their's might be. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that your little one holds tight for a while yet and all is well when he or she arrives. xxx

Hi, don't feel bad, things will be fine. I had my DS prem - waters broke at 32 1/2 weeks and I made it another few days before I had him. He was absolutely fine, small at 4 14lbs but everything was fine. He spent one night in special care, just for observation and we spent another 10 days in the hospital as he was jaundice.

Don't worry, 4.5 is a good weight.

My DS was a little behind for a wee while - ie didn't smile when he should have - basically 'cos he should have still been in my tummy. But he soon caught up on things and is now top of class in all subjects.

If you want to chat, I'm here.

Thanks for your kind words and SingleMum your story cheered me up as I have images of baby in neonatal with tubes . Well done your DS for being top of the class - clever boy .

Were you able to breastfeed? Where did you get his first wee babygrows?

I've spent so long reading up on trying to get my VBAC this time around and it's now the least of my concerns. Life just likes to throw a curve ball doesn't it?

My experience might be slightly different as my ds was in NICU after being born so some of this might not apply to you.

Breastfeeding you should be able to do, the mws in my hospital were v supportive about breastfeeding and expressing.

Try and express/arrange breasfeeding as soon as you can after the birth. If your lo is in SCBU take home something they have worn with their smell and a photo of them as it helps when trying to express. Get as much contact as you can if they are in hospital when you are not. If expressing at home they should arrange a machine for you to take with you.

Have they arranged a tour around the neonatal ward with you?

As you're 33 wks I wouldn't really worry about tubes. Ds was only on one for 12 hours. After that it was just leads hooked up to a machine recording oxgyen levels and heartbeat.

Little babygrows I think we got in the prem in Mothercare, although they were still huge.

4.5 is definately a good weight. Ds was under 3lb when born - due Dec too, born Oct. We were expecting him any time after 29 wks (was born at 34) so I know that horrible in limbo feeling.

As Singlemum says ds was behind when it came to all his developmental milestones but he got there in the end. He's now a very happy, healthy 2 yo.

Good luck to you and your lo. xx

Hi Bluesatin, well done on your pregnancy and making it to 33 weeks! I had dd last year at 30 weeks very unexpectedly after my waters broke early. I too had spent hours considering VBAC and never even thought about early birth (ds arrived on time at a good weight). The plus side was I had a natural birth in under an hour so at least no CS again.

The neonatal staff made it clear that 30 weeks is a bit of a turning point in development and they didn't have any worries about dd's outlook. They were proved right, she's now 18 months and walking around babbling happily. She was 3lb 2oz at birth and the only sign of prematurity is her dainty size.

I breastfed her until recently so it can be done with support from the hospital, she didn't have formula at all due to allergy worries (her brother has a dairy allergy).

Don't bother with buying clothes, the neonatal units have a stock of them for you to use and they grow so quickly it's not worth buying them. You can always get them when your dc is discharged from hospital and you have a better idea of size.

Neonatal units are initially pretty scary (I found so anyway) but you soon get used to it. I spent the first two weeks bursting into tears as soon as I walked through the door but apparently that's normal and not just me being neurotic. It's the potent mix of hormones, worry and hospital wards that gets you!

Good luck and I hope all goes well for you and the lo xx

Hi Bluesatin, glad I put your mind at rest a bit, hoped I would. I borrowed some prem babygrows off a friend who'd had twins, but I believe she got them from mothercare and they fit fine.

I didn't breastfeed - though this was out of choice - I could have if I'd wanted to.

I was able to take my DS out of the SCBUnit to hold/change nappy that first day. And the hospital staff - SCBU/midwifes on maternity ward - were all lovely and very supportive.

On the plus side - I found my DS hardly cried and slept loads for the first couple of months - again I guess because he should have still been in the womb. So there's always a positive!

Are you having a boy or girl?

Keep us up-to-date. Fingers crossed for you.

PS - I remember the hospital saying at 33 weeks, everything is fully formed - the last weeks of pregnancy is just for the baby to put on weight. So imagine if your baby is 4.5 now - what it may be if you went full term - ouch!

Thanks pandaiis, Bilbosmum and SingleMum - lovely to read your experiences . I've heard the neo-natal nurses are lovely.

Had my first weekly Friday scan yesterday and hb still @ 100bpm but baby looking comfy and moving lots so unless I have a dramatic loss of movement, baby is staying put for this week at least! Consultant did say they won't let me go past 37-38 weeks as they don't want me to go into labour with the added stress of trying to monitor baby's hb that entails. So no VBAC pour moi .

I've moved my mat leave forward and am now finishing up this Friday so if I do go from scan room to delivery room I won't have added worry of unfinished work.

We don't know the sex, but I think we're having a girl .

So I'm basically in wait and see land but its November tomorrow and getting to there is a mini milestone in itself.

Thanks again for all your posts and kinds words

Sorry for the late message, only just seen this thread. I just wanted to chuck my 33-weeker experience into the mix for you. DS was born by emergency C-section bang on 33 weeks. He weight 3lb 9oz and was absolutely fine. He had CPAP for a couple of hours (basically a puff of air up his nose to help him breathe by himself) and after that he was doing it alone. He was in hospital for 4 weeks as he couldn't suck etc. but once he grasped it he was fine.

He is still little, well actually, quite long but skinny, but other than that he's fine developmentally. I actually went in at 31 weeks because I developed pre-eclampsia and when I asked whether my baby was going to survive being born that early the doctor looked at me in quite a funny way and said: "Of course, there are no worries, you're 31 weeks.........." I really think it's true what they say that once you get to 29/30 weeks it is just "window dressing" in the room and they miss out on that little bit of fat!!

Good luck and hang on in there baby!!

My dd was 10 weeks premature and weighed 3lb 9oz. She was in NICU for two days, on CPAP for 48 hours (with intervals off machine), then progressed to SCBU. She was healthy all along - just very early. She was too young to feed so had a NG tube and we were shown how to feed her this way (using my expressed milk). At 32 weeks I started putting her to the breast. Initially she just licked it ()but by 33/34 weeks she was able to feed. However, as it was the summer holidays and I had ds to look after I could not commit to exclusive bf so we started giving her ebm in a bottle. She came home at 36 weeks - 5 weeks corrected. Hopefully your baby will be ok with feeding as will be older. I'd advise you to tour the SCBU and familiarise yourself with the pump (just in case you need to express). It is a stessful journey but you get through it and the staff are fab. I broke down several times and the staff were all very supportive and kind. I think the worse thing is having to go home without your baby. Nothing can prepare you for how awful that is. I felt very torn because I had 5yr old at home but equally he helped to distract me. Most of the mums I met at the hospital did not have other dc so spend most of their time at the hospital. Good luck and hope all goes well
By the way, it is pretty easy to get prem clothes these days. I got most of mine in Mothercare and I ordered tights on the internet. Whereabouts do you live? I have a bag of prem clothes which I was going to donate to the hospital but if you live in London you could collect?

Thanks for sharing your stories ladylush and backintraining - really reassuring and comforting .

ladylush - thanks for offer but I live in central Scotland!

I'll be 34 weeks on Friday and just hope scan gives me at least another week BUT reading all your stories has certainly helped me prepare for lo coming any time now.

Big thanks and hugs again x

34 weeks is a very good stage to get to The obstetrician told us that at this stage baby would be home with us within days rather than weeks - though obviously that depends on the individual circumstances.
The best thing is that the team looking after you are aware of your specific needs and that means they will be prepared for your baby arriving early. It must be a lot more stressful and chaotic for those women who have a sudden premature birth.

Hi BSS
DS was born at 31 weeks and weighed in at 3lbs 0.5 oz. He started breast feeding alongside his nasal tube after a couple of days.

Mothercare/Boots and Tescos all do early baby clothes but whilst in hospital they provide them and you won't have to worry about your clothes getting lost in their laundry system.

There is a pic of DS on my profile with his attachments and it is not scary it is just monitors and a nasal tube.

Depending on weight and gestation you may be offered additional eye and heating tests but these are just precautionary so nothing to worry about.

DS needed no oxygen and just needed his temperature regulated and his feeds building up, he came out of hospital after 26 days so was still over a month early at discharge. Was shocked as we were warned he may be in until due date.

Good luck and hope everything goes well, pop into the Due December thread if you get chance lots of lovely ladies on there.

dd was also home a month before her due date. I think they tell parents to expect them home by their due date so as not to raise hopes.
Re clothes - the hospital my dd was at asked parents to bring clothes in. They had vests and sleepsuits but tended to use them when babies first admitted/parents unprepared. I really enjoyed shopping for clothes for dd as it made me feel that I was doing something nice and seeing her in clothes I had bought was so satisfying - but I accept that some parents will see it as a waste of money as the clothes won't fit long. For me, it felt like such a milestone to get to the clothes stage as she spent the first couple of weeks naked apart from a nappy (in incubator).

Hi charleymouse - recognise you from 'due in Dec'. I've lurked there back and forward but not joined as had to bow out of 'due in April/Aug' threads last year due to mc and vowed never to join another one in case I jinxed this pg. I might be brave enought once it goes over to post-natal! . Thanks for sharing your story, your photos are lovely especially the bfeeding one but so sorry your other DS didn't make it .

ladylush - think I would be same as you re: getting baby into 'proper' babygrows. Have held off buying anything as I'm in 'wait and see' territory but will be sending DH out shopping when lo comes and we know weight so he/she can have correctly sized white babygrows. DS's one's are 'up to 10lbs' which will be too big to start with.

Have my next weekly scan tomorrow when I'll be 34 weeks to the day so hope it buys me and lo another week. I'm just willing the days/weeks away and longing for December....

I spent a week in hospital at 27 weeks as I was having contractions & my cervix started to open. I've been signed off work ever since & had to rest but we've just made to it to 35 weeks which is what we'd been aiming for.

ds1 spent a week in SCBU which was very scary with the constant beeping & tubes but the staff were fantastic. We were provided with prem nappies & clothes but you can buy prem baby clothes pretty much anywhere that you would usually buy them.

Good luck

Great news Claire on getting to 35 weeks!! You must be so relieved...

Hopefully see you postnatally Bluesatinsash. I know what you mean as I had a mc in January and should have my baby here already but this one is doing a good job of keeping me occupied and hopeful. I was 36 weeks yesterday and have no worries now if this one was to turn up. At this gestation it is likely to just be a bit of padding that is missing, they should be perfectly fine otherwise.

Is the heart irregularity something they will just keep tabs on and hopefully grow out of?

You are in the home straight now, just put your feet up and relax, I know nigh on impossible with one at home already but try your best.

Well done Claire, nearly there.

Hi! Just wanted to add more positive stories-

my sis had her 2nd baby at 35wks due to foetal/mother blood incompatability. He had had 2 in utero blood transfusions. He was induced but ended up being emergency c-section. He weighed 6lb 4oz!! and was in hosp for 10 days due to being under the lamp and monitering him for anaemia. He is now 2 and very normal and healthy!

Her 3rd dc was born at 33+6 for the same reasons. She weighed 5lb 3oz I think. She was tube fed top up feeds as she was too sleepy to take a decent BF and she had IV antibiotics. She was only under the lamp for a day. She was moved onto the normal ward after 4 days and home after 8 days- as soon as they were certain she was gaining weight.
She is now 5mths and great- she has been a bit later to smile etc and still only weighs about 11lbs but she is absolutely fine.

Good luck x

Can I add another positive story - I was monitored daily for irregular heartbeat and low fluid from 31 weeks with the constant threat of DS being delivered early.

We made it to approx 38 weeks and DS was an enormous 9lb 7oz and fine. So you might not have a preemie after all.

Good luck!

Chaotica at your 9lb 7ozer . Thanks for sharing your similar story! Thanks also thatsnotmymonster, lovely to hear your sister's DS and DD are thriving .

Had my second weekly scan at lunchtime and baby has decided to behave this week . Heart rate back up to 134 bpm and irregular blip hardly distinguishable. Consultant said if it had been a run of the mill scan he would have sent me away with a big tick. So baby blue can incubate for at least another week barring any emergency and if it remains on a par with today they may allow me to go past 38 weeks and even go into labour but I daren't even think that far ahead. Just getting to 35 weeks is a milestone in itself.

I'm just so relieved as today was the last day that I had to leave work for scan with hospital bag in boot of car. All future scans will be when I'm on mat leave with no work worries

Great news

That's great

not particularly prem but my 15 year old ds was induced at 36 weeks as they suspected my placenta might be coming away..id been in hospital for 2 weeks with bleeding. When he was born they suspected he might have been slightly earlier possibly 35 weeks.
He was a good weight 7lb 12 oz, but looked like a skinned rabbit!
he was well and went down to the post natal ward wih me, but he was very jaundiced and his blood sugars were low, so we were kept in for 5 days so he could go under the lights..and be feeding properly..he wouldnt wake to feed because he was so sleepy all the time, but was jittery from low blood sugar, so I had to feed him 2 hourly and basically strip all his clothes off so he actually woke up to feed, he was breatfeeding fairly well when we went home. He was a little late meeting his milestones and was not a happy baby(I dont think he was at all happy at being ejected from his comfy home so early)..but he soon became a happy contented child, with a lovely placid nature and was in fact taller than most of his class mates at 4.
he is 15 now and nearly 6ft!

Oh memorylapse - its funny thinking of anyone with a strapping 15-year old . Thanks for sharing your story. I can so see why he would be pee'd off being ejected from his cosy snug . I'm like that at the grand old age of 38 (I was fortnight late, Mum on verge of being induced, she says I've never gotten up on time ever since ). And yet my DS is a ping wide awaker at 6.30am .