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Premature birth

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2 Beautiful Angels born alive at 20 weeks - Both died just over an hour later

58 replies

Becky150409 · 11/05/2009 17:48

Our Story ( it's kind of a novel sorry )- Hopefully our experience will help other people to know they are not alone.

My Husband and I had been trying for a baby for the last 6 years after 3 years we found out that my tubes were completely closed and had only a 1 in a million chance of conceiving naturally, so we decided to try ivf. We were so excited to learn on christmas day that we were pregnant after our third implant. I started to bleed at 7 and a half weeks and we were devistated to think that we were losing our baby. I went to the hospital and was given an ultrasound they found that we had 2 sacs 1 had a heartbeat and 1 didn't. We were sad that one of our eggs didnt make it but were happy that one still did.but I was still very anxious.The doctors told me that the bleeding was most likely the sac that did not have a heart beat and i would have to pass it. Later that night I lost a huge clot so I went back to the hospital the next day to make sure that it was the one that did not have a heartbeat and you can imagine my surprise when they were doing the scan and the doctors and nurses were looking intently at the screen saying are you seeing this. I hadn't been game enough to look at the screen in case it was bad news as the last time I had been pregnant I got to 11 weeks and found out that it had died at 9 weeks. When I looked at the screen I seen there was suddenly 2 heartbeats it was absolutley amazing. I had never been so happy in my life. It was still early so I didn't want to get too carried away but you just can't help it. then we had another scare at 15 weeks when i went for a nt scan and the doctors said that t2 had too much fluid behind his neck and i need an amnio test because he had a 1 in 2 and 1 in 4 chance of having 3 serious syndromes. we had the test and after 2 weeks of waiting we found out that we had dodged all 3 bullits the baby was fine and we found out that he was a boy. At 19 weeks we found out that our T1 was a girl it was just perfect. on the 03.04.09 I started losing a brown discharge and had mild cramping and worried i went to the hospital I was told it was nothing to worry about, it's old blood. this continued to happen and I kept going back to the hospital worried I just felt something was wrong they did scans and told me I had a short cervix of 2.3cms and i asked if i should be worried as i knew twins never went full term and i had my daughter when I was 16 and she came 5 weeks early. they told me they would monitor it. i asked if I should give up work and have bed rest and was told " we will see where you are in 4 weeks" i told them I work in a management position and i am constantly on my feet, and i read that the brown discharge before 22 weeks can be a sign of late miscarriage and was told that i could stay at work i was fine and told not to read my books anymore. 1.30am on the 15th of April i had mild cramping and couldn't tell if it was pressure pain or actual pain so i called the hospital. they told me to come in I called my husband home from work and we went to the hospital. I had a nurse feel my stomach and after a short while she told me that I had had 2 contractions in 10 mins i told her i can't be having contractions as I was only 20 weeks to the day. the registrar did an internal and said that my cervix was open and made a hand gesture of approximatley a tennis ball. she told me not to worry they could do a stitch but she had to see her supervisor. when her supervisor came down she did not even recheck she just said from what she had been told my cervix was closed i asked her to recheck and she said that she didn't need to! they did a quick scan and the babies were fine playing as they do they gave me a shot of buscopan and morphine and told me I would be in for a couple of days to monitor me. I was moved to a ward. Another doctor came to see me at 7.30am and told me that I needed a patch to stop the labour. My husband and i continuely asked for the patch several times and still had not recieved it when they sent me for another ultrasound at 11.30am again both babies were fine they were playing and kicking each other and trying to hold hands through the membrane. the radiographer said that they were fine and still high in the pelvis so i started to breath again but i wanted the patch that they had spoke of as the doctor said it takes a while to work. when i went back upstairs i asked for it again and they finally brought it to me at 1.30pm i sent my husband home because I thought every thing was going to be alright now and he had been up for 50 hours. I was moved to a private room I am not sure why i was trying to rest and all of a sudden with no warning my waters broke at 2.30pm. I called for the nurse and it took them over 5 minutes to come in and told me they only came in because I was crying. I was taken down to delivery. My husband turned up at about 3pm and our beautiful Phoebe was born at 3.16pm she weighed only 280grams and she was 24.5cms long I thought she had been born dead as they didn't move her then our beautiful Dylan came at 3.17pm and landed straight on Phoebe's head and they left him there too. My mother turned up not long after they were born approximately 5-10minutes and the babies were still between my legs uncovered. I was hysterical and told my mother that we had lost them. She went up to look at the twins and then she noticed they were breathing and their hearts were beating. she informed the nurse and she said " well I'll get a blanket then" we asked them to help the babies and the staff informed us that it was legislation that babies under 24 weeks can not be assisted. they told us to spend time with our babies and say goodbye. Our Phoebe lived for just over an hour and Our Dylan lived for an hour and 15 minutes. although they were only here a short time they will be loved always.

OP posts:
Becky150409 · 15/10/2009 10:56

hey flappy i have to meet with the hospital and have concilliation on the 21st will let you know how it goes. We have sat down and written all our questions and had to forward them on to the health complaints commission. I am in Sydney i am not sure where you are but that is who we make the complaint to. We had to submit our queries in to them so they can forward it on to the hospital so the hospital has no excuse if they don;t have the answer

OP posts:
FlappyTheBat · 25/10/2009 21:53

Becky, just wondering how you got on?

Becky150409 · 01/11/2009 01:31

Hi flappy, yeah i met with the hospital and they admitted things were handled badly, they also produced a report that said that phoebe (twin 1) had an infection in the membrane which they are saying caused me to go into labour, so there is nothing i can do about that. But there was a midwife there who is head of the midwives in the western area and she was appalled by what had been said and she is going to speak to the people involved, and get back to me with an outcome. all in all i suppose it went ok there are things they should have done better but at the end of the day nothing anyone says is going to bring my angels back but hopefully now that we had the meeting and they know a few things it may stop it from happening to someone else. All i can say to the pregnant mothers out there is. You know your own body and if something doesn't feel right pursue it until they listen to you, thank you everyone for your care and concern it is nice to know there are people out there who do listen

OP posts:
cheeseandeyeballsarnie · 01/11/2009 01:39

becky unsure what to say but wanted to post.

mumtobe2010 · 15/03/2010 11:50

Omg what a story!!! I can't believe they didn't do anything to help to babies that were alive, its ridiculous!!! I hope both of you's are ok, I can't imagine how your feeling!!!

bearcrumble · 17/03/2010 16:45

I am so sorry for your loss and the terrible way you were treated by the hospital staff.

Phoebe and Dylan will never be forgotten.
xx

parry87 · 30/11/2010 12:48

I just read your story Becky. 3 weeks ago my twins died too. Like you I had many iui and ivf attempts using icsi. I have a complicated medical history including removal ov ovary and tube and part of other ovary due to large cysts which reoccur,severe endometrosis which gave me septicaemia and put me in intensive care causing my vital organs to shut down. A kidney was removed and the other left diseased all of this goin against me being pregnant. I was told to have a hysterectomy as my insides were too scarred and my body had been through enough trying to produce eggs would kill me. As you probably know giving up isnot an option so we decided on egg donation from my best friend. When we finally got pregnant it was a miracle and I too had early bleeds. I was told it was twins at the first scan a dream come true as we had been told they were not willing to try me with ivf again if this failed. A proper family all we ever wanted as we are both twins too. I had a scan 2 days later at ivf and told they were healthy and i was low risk of miscarrage but had to be high risk because of my history. 3 days after that i had fresh blood but was told everything was ok twins were just naughty. The next few scans saw my beautiful babies growing and being cheeky and i couldnt want anything more. I felt a little more relaxed as i reached 14 weeks and the nursery was now ready and we were getting carseats clothes etc. I had terrible pains and was told it was probably a hernia due to my opperations all i can do is rest. 04.11.10 my friend comes over and we walk down the street for a coffee when my water breaks. Antenatal tell me to go to a+e which they later appologised for. An antenatal dr came to examine me and said it looks like my membranes have but everything should be ok however my consultant was coming in to see me. 4 hours later when she arrive she asked me what had happened grabbed my had and asked if i wanted to see the screen. I saw both heartbeats and was so so happy they werent dead although one of them had no water and had curled up in a ball. She was very low down but 2 days earlier she was low but very active waving and looking right at us the scan pictures look like she is smiling. Another consultant comes in to confirm as my dr prints lots of pictures saying they are beautiful, I dont understant what i did wrong but at 9.35 Millie Grace was born still curled up weighing just 11g. She was stunning but we were alone when she just shot out so I was very shocked. The midwives came and lay her in a dish and then my other water broke. Nathan took a bit of pushing and his leg was dangling out for a while. At 9.52 he arrived he had his dads shape face again but he had small lips and was very dainty he weighed 10g. I just kept sayng their perfect and touching them. Im sure Nathan was alive when he was born but when the cord was cut he wasnt. The hospital at sunderland were very knid to us all though and put the twins in a moses basket. I held the all night crying and wishing for them to come back to me. I was 16+3 weeks pregnant. I dont understant how they cant be saved but I know they wouldnt of been able to cope they were only the size of my hand but perfect little babies. My life. How can god give me all i ever wanted then take it away I will never ever understand that and I will never get over this. Its not fair to anyone especially to people like us who have tried so hard and cant just get pregnant like anyone else. I also think its wrong how we dont get birth certificates for them after all we gave birth to them they are still people. I hope your feeling abit better now and hopefully I will get there soon. love and cuddles xxx

ZuzuandZara · 02/12/2010 18:04

Becky and Parry,
what incredibly sad, heart wrenching stories. I am so very sorry for your losses, both of you.
I hope in time, you can find the strength to cope.
My thoughts are with you.

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