Previous preemie (31 weeks). Now at 30 weeks and nervous!

[laumiere]

Can anyone send me good news/happy stories about having a prem birth and then having a later or even term second baby?

I delivered DS1 at 31w (weighing 4lb 6) after my waters just went unexpectedly (they now suspect polyhydramnios). DS has CP and was in the SCBU for 3 weeks but is a lovely 2.5 yo now. I'm just on 30w with DS2 and am starting to fret about a second prem birth.

This pregnancy has been much more straightforward, I'm clear on HVS, GTTR, all the things they can test me for, my cervix has been stable at 30mm for 12-15 weeks, I'm stopping work on Tues to be home with DS1, resting when I can, is there anything else I can do?

(Oh and was on Clycagest progesterone pessaries for 30 days and had steroid shots at 24 w)

Hi
A friend of mine had Ds1 at 34 weeks but went full term with DS2.

Cant remember the ins and outs sorry but hoping to encourage

My first ds was born at 34 weeks (4lb 6oz) as well. I had pre-eclampsia and he was delivered by emergency c-section. He was in SCBU for a week, and was able to come home after that - tiny but perfect.

Second pregnancy went the whole way (well 39 weeks), and was fine. I even managed a natural birth. Also I felt so much better during the second pregnancy. Good luck.

Good luck laumiere - sounds like you are getting great care and being well looked after which must be reassuring. I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with twins and my DS was born at just after 31 weeks so I'm also getting nervous. Have to say tho that I'm not getting any extra care apart from HVS every 4 weeks. (In fact on being seen every 4 weeks which is less than with DS) No reason ever found for his early arrival. Have asked for cervix scan and been told not necessary. (Heard sonographers whispering their suprise that I wasnt getting them given my history)
I'm just trying my hardest not to think about it and havent bought or organised a thing yet. I think I'm probably still in denial and none of it will seem real until I get home with them. Hope it goes well for you xx

Thanks Jerin - can you be firm and insist on a scan? My PCT (Lewisham) does cervical scans for everyone at 18w, I only stopped being scanned after not altering from 18-29w.

I'm 35 weeks following a 20 weeker and a 31 weeker. I've had scares once a fortnight for the last 10 weeks, but I'm now booked in to have her in just under 3 weeks.

jerin, you wouldn't have got to 31 weeks with an IC which is why they don't think it's necessary. I'm not an expert but I've been tested in this pregnancy and the last. This one we were told it was pointless but I was happy for the extra monitoring. You definitely wouldn't be that far on with twins if you had an IC!

Have been wondering how your getting on.

And agrees no evidence of incompetent cervix from a women with 28wk twing. They tend to 'give' at 18 to 22/24 weeks so yours is doing a brilliant job jerin!

Tinsel, I think I may have imagined reading this, but did you say you were told after your first pregnancy that the body 'sets itself up' for prem birth having done it once?

Hi laumiere and congratulations on your pregnancy. I am currently 24+6 with my second child having had my first at 27+5 due to short cervix. (seen at QEH with dd and at Tommy's with this one)

Lewisham is actually fairly unusual in offering cervical length scans routinely - they do this partly because they (together with QEH and Darenth Valley) participated in a research study run by Kings investigating short cervix and its role in prem delivery, which caught quite a few cases (eg, mine!) that would otherwise have gone undetected. 30mm at 30 weeks is a really good length (as you may know, 25mm at 22-24 weeks is considered the low end of normal range) So you have actually had a lot more monitoring than most hospitals would offer.

I think it is very normal among prem parents to fret a lot when you reach the point when your previous child was born. It sounds like you have done everything possible and have had a pretty decent care pathway as well. But do work through how you feel - it's so common to feel that if you had a good outcome from a previous prem birth it's somehow not right for you to feel sadness/regrets/fears about what happened.

Take care

Thanks lizzytee, I'm actually seeing the Women's Health counsellor to talk through DS1's birth (so far it's clear the total lack of support I had with my last pg was a major cause of my anxiety this time!).

I wish people would THINK before speaking though. I finished work yesterday and one woman said 'oh are you ready to pop?' and I replied that I had almost 3 months left and that DS1 was born at 31w. She then said 'oh good, I'll expect to hear you've had it next week then!'

I really wanted to turn around and give her an earful about how of COURSE I want another child who risks long term health problems and 3 weeks in SCBU, but I restrained myself (she's a manager).

Tell me about it. I have considered playing insensitive comment bingo at times. Top contenders:

• You're lucky you never got really big/had to go through the third trimester. (Yeah right, watching your child fight for life is a breeze by comparison)

• At least you know what to expect if you have another early baby (errrr no, you know just how fragile they are and how unlike an ER/Eastenders/Corrie plotline having a prem baby is)

and the winner (said not to me but a friend with a seriously ill 28 week baby)

• Are you worried you won't bond with her?

at your manager. At times like that I try to assume a saintly expression and tell myself it's done out of ignorance. Then I fume.

laumiere it does seem to happen that your body gets used to the shorter gestation, although people who have gone to term previously seem to manage better later - I'm no expert, just what I've picked up from the hospital and talking to other prem mums.

I think the size may be a factor because my baby has IUGR and isn't much bigger now at 35 weeks than Tink was at 31, but I have been having a lot of scares so maybe my body is totally baffled to what's going on!

Thanks Tinsel- had asked about scan but wasnt explained why it didnt relate to me. I feel reassured. agree with your stories of insensitive/ignorant peoples comments. People are now starting to say to me bet you just want them out now - er no - I'm only 28 weeks - would rather be three times this size (tho think I really would explode) than have them in the next 6 weeks.

Maybe we should create an insensitive comments bingo board and have a game....

I also got sick of my (horrible) HV giving me hassle about BFing without explaining to me that BFing a preemie can be more difficult/different to a full term baby. DS of course had CP (which we didn't know at the time) which meant BFing and positioning exhausted him and FF worked so much better.

jerin what a stupid thing to say.

laumiere, one of the things I found so hard to cope with when dd was discharged from hospital was going from dealing with neonatal staff and paeds who really knew their stuff to GPs and HVs who transparently didn't. Although to be fair to my HV she was dead sensible and supportive. but unfortunately not at yours.

just wanted to say good luck, think good idea to finish work so early. Im new to these board but my daughter is fifteen months and was born at 31+2, she was in SCBU for six and half weeks and the comments used to drive me mad, also the amount of pregnant woman i know who have complained to me about being big and fed up. A woman at work recently had a baby at 42 weeks and a colleauge was telling me how fed up she had been and she hated being pregnant I really had to bite my tongue not to say i would have give anything to have even got to 34 weeks let alone 37 or gone overdue.

Sorry I never came back to this thread, I was in real labour when I last posted! How are you doing now, you must be 36 weeks if you're still pregnant?

Tinsels theory might be right I've had two at 40+6 then one at 27+1 (+6 according to my dates)

I'm now 30 weeks so I have done it and I'm convinced I'm going to term if not over.

I think my previous prem was more to do with her specific pregnancy rather than my body doing prem births like some seem to. I am very lucky

I am new to Mumsnet and it was good to read some encouraging tales about chances of having a second prem. I had my first DS at 34 weeks, he was in SCBU for three weeks. I am now 12 weeks pregnant with my second and haven't even seen a midwife yet! Hopeless care so far. Trying not to be anxious though....

found this really reassuring, my son was born 33.5 weeks, following a completely normal pregnancy, and cos he was breech I had to have an emergency C Section, and it all went wrong, couldn't breastfeed and had to visit SCUBU while feeling really ill myself. Just 12 weeks now with no. 2 and can't see the same thing happening again, but it's really nice to hear so many people saying they've had a more positive experience second time round.

Don't think people who haven't been through it understand the horror of relying on doctors/nurses/machines at a time when you just want to be at home with the baby.

mrsallright - some more reassurance from this end. It is just as possible that you will go longer second time around after a first time prem.

DS was born at 31+6 after waters went at 31+1. Complete nightmare birth and immediate aftermath (emergency section - DS was transverse breach, too) - so bad they wrote a paper on it (seriously).

Three years later, DD sensibly waited until 38w to make an appearance in spite of the fact I spotted/bled through the whole pregnancy yet again!

Good luck!