Prepregnancy appointment has come through...

[TinkerbellesMum]

I had a call last Thursday from a MW, apparantly I had a prepregnancy appointment but they sent it to the wrong address I've asked them to rebook for mid-June when TD is back from his secondment.

I'm not sure how I feel about it. I don't know what being pregnant again means, more time in hospital, a pregnancy I can't enjoy because I'm convinced I'll lose it, another premature labour, GA and section? How will I cope with all that and a toddler, especially if I'm kept in.

Mum keeps going on about me getting pregnant again. "You better not be getting broody" when I hold my nephew. She doesn't realise what being pregnant means for me.

I'm thinking about getting the jab next time my period comes, will just be the one to give me some time before we go again to sort different things out.

Guess I just need to wait till next month.

Hey Tink'sMum.
Didn't want to leave this unanswered...and I usually read your posts because I'm in Bham too!
You're young, you have time to decide either way- you don't need to choose NOW.
Whatever happens you have a sparky beautiful daughter, who is very special.
Hope all goes well.

With all that you've been through, I'm not suprised you have mixed feelings about the thought of getting pg again. Hopefully one of the things that you could discuss at the prepreg appointment is about what support you'd be able to access, what the chances of another prem labour are etc.

I was supposed to get counselling in my pg with DS as I was so depressed and anxious after 3 mcs, and was convinced that I'd lose him. Of course my useless hospital never did sort that out, but I hear that the Womens hospital is pretty good for that sort of thing.

We decided that one living child was enough, but have total admiration for anyone who can do it all over again.

They've already said that I will never be able to go to term, in fact my rheumie was quite annoyed that they weren't planning for Tink to come early as it was pretty obvious it was going to happen.

You're right the Women's is brilliant and I'm fortunate to be treated at the QE too so I won't have too much worry about the crossover of my care between the two.

I don't want to wait too long, I would have preferred a smaller gap but because of the damage to my womb they said I shouldn't get pregnant until she is two as it would put me at risk of rupture. They've also said that my scar means I'm not eligible for a natural delivery again.

lol EachPeachPearMum I don't feel that young! Not for kids anyway. We're a very young family: Mum had 3 at my age, I was 8 (the eldest) and she'd had a hysterectomy by now. My brother has 5 kids, his partner is 3 years younger than me. My grandparents are only in their mid-60s!

It's occurred to me this morning that I should speak to HV and see if I do get pregnant and need to be admitted (4 weeks last time, plus half a week a few weeks later) before Tink is 3 if we can get her funding for some sort of childcare. I know we wouldn't be able to cover it.

There must be something for people who have to be in hospital for extended periods and have children. Would also be worth asking about Surestart volunteer support so that when you're pg there would be someone to come round a couple of hours a week so that you could rest a bit more.
Any chance of any family help ?

I'd get them to write you a plan of what medications they'd be starting you on when, latest date they'd let you go to, planned scans, date they'd give steroids, intervention points, what your ideal clotting times would be prepg etc so that you have something to work to, and could discuss with your rheumie etc.

I think you're young too ! But in my family not starting a family till your thirties is normal - none of my grandparents are alive, and DH only has one who is 95..

Isn't it funny how different families see it? Mum said she was worried how I would cope starting so old! Actually, TD is 42 so on that side I'm quite young.

It's my rheumie who arranged the appointment, so that dept will be represented there. I do love the rheumie team from the QE because they were the reason I was actually treated with Tink, FMT said I wasn't bad enough to need Heparin ( erm... hello... I've just lost a baby from this disease! I think that makes me "bad enough"!) I think they will either give me a short supply of needles or a number to call as soon as I find out I'm pregnant so I can get onto them, I'm already on Aspirin. I think they may talk about how far they let me go, I was due to be induced with Tink but was going to discuss it a week Friday

I'll have a chat with the Sure Start lady when I see her next see if there's anything they can do. I just keeping going over my last pregnancy and thinking "how would I do that with a toddler?" I was on bedrest for my back, which wasn't easy as I was in three times a week, live on the top floor of a low riser and there is another set of stairs to get to the bus!

Both my parents work, but Dad works until 3:30pm and weird days, he's also not far from here so he would probably pick her up from her child care and have her when he's off work. TD only works around the corner so he gets back quite early.

Right now I'm not sure what's harder the idea of trying again or the idea of a potentially difficult pregnancy with a toddler!

I'm rambling I think

Ramble away ! Sometimes you just need to kind of get the thoughts out of your head and written down somewhere.

Would TD be able to work from home if necessary, and then you could get a local repsonsible teen to play with Tink until 5, but he could pop and get her from somewhere and bring her home. Do you go to any groups where a friend could keep taking Tink plus hers if you were in ?

Are you doing Pilates or something to strengthen your core muscles to give your back a bit more support before you get pg ? A friend who had previously broken two vertebrae managed to get pre preg physio to make sure she was really strong before starting. Mind, you're prob in great shape from carrying Tink. My core muscles have never been better than now I carry 16kg of DS around.

Good that its a multidisciplinary meeting already - they can slog things out between them.

I'm supposed to be having physio, I need to get that sped up before I get pregnant again or it will only get worse. The muscles in my back became overstretched when I was pregnant. I ended up having to use a wrap sling because it holds me together and I didn't have the power carry the car seat in the early days or to push a chair.

I don't get to any groups because I'm not in a very accessible place and obviously walking is difficult. Tink is going to a child minder from next week, I have 150 hours free but we couldn't afford for her to be there once the free hours are gone. Like you said though, there has to be some sort of provision for this kind of situation (could always ask Nanny to find her some where to live >:-) Why do I see that becoming a threat as she gets older? hehe)

TD is office based but I think he would need to do most of his work from the office. He did some drawings over the weekend at home because he borrowed a laptop, but it's the first time he's done drawings at home.

I think this thread is going to be useful to help me remember what I need to be sorting out with the doctors and midwives.

I should wait a little bit before getting pregnant as Mum has Spina Bifida Occulta so I should be taking Folic Acid for 3 months.

Hi
I have Hughes as well, knew about it pre-pregnancy as had a PE a few years ago. Was on fragmin and aspirin in first pregnancy but still ended up with HELLP in ICU and DD born at 33/40 (now almost 2 and well).
Decided to give it another go - on fragmin and aspirin again, majorly stressed throughout the pregnancy but now have 2 week old DS who managed to get to 38/40 before elective section! (Rheum and obs have both admitted this was completely unexpected though!)
Just so you know it can be done. Good luck x

I'd forgotten about this thread! I was already pregnant when I wrote it.

A week before my appointment I found out I was already pregnant! I'm 10 weeks now.

They're going to put me on progesterone gel to stop me from going into labour, but I get the impression they don't think it will be term.

This is my 4th pregnancy now (I can't believe I've been pregnant 4 times!) and with the way things have gone before they don't trust me to go to term (8 weeks, 20 weeks, 31 weeks).

I feel totally normal and that doesn't help me, I struggle to accept being pregnant as it is but being symptom free doesn't help. I was like this last time too.