27 week premature - skin contact

[Merrow]

I had an emergency C-section on Sunday, and DS is in NICU. I can't say I'm keeping it together that well, but I'm doing my best. One of the things I've read is the importance of skin contact, but my baby always seems to startle if I touch him. How do I know it's what he actually wants? I don't want to distress him more.

Babies need their mum for bonding. If you are allowed to hold him skin to skin, do so. I've worked with adults who were left in Nicu historically without touch and the affect on them has been profound.

start slow, stroke the fingers, arms and legs.
the startle is more an indication of his immature nervous system

Ok, thank you for replying

Congratulations on the birth of your DS OP. What a tough and stressful time you must be having.
The best way to approach touching your baby is to use “the 5-step approach” - I’m sorry, I can’t link but you should be able to Google it. It involves talking to your DS first in a low and gentle voice to let him know you are there before actually touching him, so he is prepared for the interaction.
Rather than stroking him, you could
try “containment holding”, where you gently place your hand on his head and cup his feet with the other hand, or lightly place a hand on his back - stroking can be very irritating for immature skin. Your DS will enjoy being held like that by you, and it will help you feel connected to him and strengthen the bond between you.
Your DS will also love to hear your voice, so you can keep gently talking to him, amongst periods of just quietly holding him in a containment hold.
If your son is this premature, your unit should have designated Physiotherapists who are specially trained in handling very premature infants. They (alongside the nursing staff) will be able to show you the best, most gentle ways of handling your baby boy.
All the best OP. Sending you lots of hugs and strength x

Thank you, they mentioned the containment hold and I thought I was doing it but I'll ask them to show me again to make sure. He's gone through so much I don't want to making anything worse. Talking to him first makes sense, I'll make sure to do that.

Don’t worry OP, as long as you take care to move slowly and gently, your touch will make things better for him, not worse. I'm sure you are doing everything right.

Congratulations! It must be a scary time for you, take the lead from the staff as they deal with this every day. My friends had twins at 27 weeks and they're 11 now and you'd never know they were prem

Congratulations! It is a bit daunting at first for both of you but they will get used to it .. I was in this position 16 years ago ... my 28 weeker is now 6 foot 4 and still loves a hug .. he also used to like a rolled muslin to push his feet against... they like to feel they are back in a small space . For you I'm sure there is an element of shock and still physical recovery .. I would suggest prioritising yourself and learning the word no even for the well meaning world around you . It gets much easier but you need time.. and space .. I was very strict about visitors until much later x

Congratulations OP. Take good care of yourself as it’s a difficult time, with the added stress of recovering from a section. As pp said, please don’t worry too much about this, certainly at the moment. It will become much easier as your DS is able to come out of the incubator for cuddles etc. My DS, born at 28 weeks 17 years ago absolutely hated skin on skin and used to wriggle away & cry. However it’s certainly done him no harm & he’s still very cuddly despite being a foot taller than me!

Thank you. It's very hard right now.

Congratulations, pp have given lots of good advice, this passes in a fog of weird time, my 27 weeker was 2lb and is now 18. It's hard and everyone in nicu has their own journey, look after yourself, take help that's offered and it won't be long before you can hold them out of the incubator x