Premature birth at 31 weeks

TheCanyon · 03/10/2021 21:49

My twins were born at 30 weeks. Unfortunately I couldn't get much milk either, we wasted a lot of time trying and immeasurable stress. They were on donor milk for a few weeks then into special formula.

FlyingWhistle · 03/10/2021 21:54

Think of the cleverest nicest person you know. Do you know if they were breast or bottle fed? No?

Because it has no bearing on a child's life long term.

Please don't stress, sleep when you can, cuddle your baby when you can and please don't worry about milk.

IsolaPribby · 03/10/2021 21:58

My son was born at 32 weeks. I tried to express, and he got everything I could provide, but demand very quickly outstripped supply. He had donor milk for a little while, but then we had to go to formula. But in the context of everything, he had a line infection and had to be given the strongest antibiotics that were available, and I developed HELPP Syndrome, it was just good that he was fed and recovered, and eventually came home.
Not being able to express seemed a big deal at the time, but now, 22 years on, not so much.
You can only do your best, just be kind to yourself.

Bancha · 03/10/2021 22:01

I don’t have experience of this but just wanted to say, please be kind to yourself. It doesn’t matter if you can’t give him breastmilk. Babies thrive on formula. It just matters that he is loved and that you are doing okay. You sound like an amazing mum.

HerbErtlinger · 03/10/2021 22:02

My son was born at 31 weeks, it took a bit of time for my milk to come in, my gp prescribed domperidone which helped. Can you speak to your GP and see if that's something that might suit you? Even if it doesn't work, try not to stress yourself about it. I know it feels like the biggest thing in the world right now but it won't once you get some distance from it. Congratulations on your little boy x

Original poster

simz143 · 03/10/2021 22:34

Thanks ladies. The worst thing is each time I see him I get asked oh are you sure you are expressing every 3 hours ? Breast milk is best for premature babies I know that. But it's been one week and I have nothing coming out. I will keep trying this week if no improvement then I will need to ask about moving on to other options such as formula.

Which formulas do you recommend ? He is so tiny and I get worried about his feeding. This whole breastfeeding has really taken over and I can't enjoy him.

OP posts:

FlyingWhistle · 03/10/2021 22:38

The hospital provided formula when my DC was in NICU as a preemie.

Kittii · 03/10/2021 22:45

One thing that helped me was that my DS was allowed a soft toy in his incubator and I would swap it every 12 hours so I could take it home and smell it when I was expressing. There is some kind of technical explanation for why this helps but I can't remember it now! But it seemed to help me express when I could smell my baby's smell at the same time. Worth a try.

scraggadoo · 03/10/2021 22:47

My son was born at 31 weeks and it took some time for my milk to come in. I remember setting my alarm religiously to try to express milk at regular intervals and the frustration at the mixed results! Having a baby prematurely and the stress associated is huge. There's definitely a place for formula and if you relax because you know he has had a good feed then that will possibly help with you being less anxious and your milk. After mixed feedimg initially I was able to breastfeed once things had settled down. My DS is 10 now and you would never know he was prem. Hang on in there OP and I hope he and you are OK.

MiniMaxi · 03/10/2021 23:07

Congrats on your new arrival OP! I hope you’re feeling ok despite the shock. My son was born at 33 weeks and I couldn’t get any milk at all. He was put straight on to a special premature baby formula that the hospital supplied and then we got it on prescription for a few months before he switched to the normal stuff. I’m sad I couldn’t breastfeed but he’s now a strapping 5 year old

TheCanyon · 04/10/2021 09:32

@simz143

Thanks ladies. The worst thing is each time I see him I get asked oh are you sure you are expressing every 3 hours ? Breast milk is best for premature babies I know that. But it's been one week and I have nothing coming out. I will keep trying this week if no improvement then I will need to ask about moving on to other options such as formula.

Which formulas do you recommend ? He is so tiny and I get worried about his feeding. This whole breastfeeding has really taken over and I can't enjoy him.

The hospital will give you the formula, likely nutriprem.

Breastfeeding/expressing is the worst when it just won't happen. And it's totally ok to say enoughs enough.

Original poster

simz143 · 04/10/2021 09:58

Thank you for your replies. I feel pressured by the nurses in the special
Care unit and the midwives they keep saying oh you need to try more. It's been a week since his birth now and not been able to
Express for him. I'm not sure when enough is enough but it is really affecting me mentally now and I just want some closure in regards to feeding.

OP posts:

TheCanyon · 04/10/2021 10:01

Do NOT let them pressure you. My oldest dd was prem and the senior midwife caused me so much stress, I had a breakdown.

Enough is enough when you decide, not them.

Bramshott · 04/10/2021 10:11

Oh god I remember this when DD1 was born at 33 weeks! Hang in there OP and be kind to yourself?
Where are you expressing? Sometimes you need to see your baby when expressing for the milk to come in - could that help? Could the staff arrange for you to express beside his incubator?

Ozanj · 04/10/2021 10:16

@simz143

Hi all

My son was born prematurely at 31 weeks as my waters broke early.

He is now 8 days old and I am
Expressing breasts every 3 hours for the past 5 days religiously with an electric pump and I am getting nothing ! It's getting upsetting now. My son is in SCBU and for the time being they are feeding him donor milk but moving forward they can't keep doing that so we need to think about his feeding. He will be there a while. But I am not getting any milk from my breasts and feel
Like a failure. Im eating and drinking well. Have any of you ladies been in this position and if so what did you do about feeding ? Did you go down the formula route ? Because he is so small and now 1 week old i want the best for him so he can grow gain weight etc.

Double electric pump. Use a few brands to try. Drink lots of fluid. You could try taking fenugreek (eating the seeds is better & if you’re close to an Indian or Pakistani area not only can you get them you can also get the foods designed specifically to help women nurse).

Above all be with baby all the time and don’t lose hope. If you can find a lactation consultant - they are qualified midwives and health visitors who know about breastmilk and how to increase supply. They will be able to design a schedule.

My friend had both sons at 31 weeks but was able to breastfeed until 4 for both of them so it is possible with support. Don’t lose hope.

Original poster

simz143 · 04/10/2021 10:27

I have been expressing beside him with their electric pumps and nothing is coming and also after doing skin to skin even tried to put him On my breast and he's far too young to suck on my breast they said but they said it can kick start things.

It's the second week now and still not able to express and I am just losing sleep over it now. I have tried it all eating well etc and I have had fenugreek seeds too. Just feel so lost.

OP posts:

Happyhappyday · 05/10/2021 03:09

OP please ignore @Ozanj generally unhelpful post. If you want to keep trying do, but know that your baby will do GREAT whatever milk he has. Breastfeeding just doesn’t always work great for some folks and trying a d having it not work can be really horrible. I recently got together with 5 old friends, all of us with toddlers, half had a really tough time with breastfeeding and all categorically agreed that in hindsight it was insane the lengths they went to try and make it work. Do consider speaking to a counselor if it’s causing stress and anxiety too, as you said, make the decision to switch up formula if you want, keep pumping if you feel like it, or don’t, and speak to someone to help you see past the fog and stress of having such a tiny baby and the pressure we’ll meaning healthcare professsionals can put on you.

Whitepots · 11/10/2021 16:53

I can relate wholeheartedly to your post. My DD was born at 32 weeks, and I spent three weeks (and much heartache) trying to express. For me my milk never came in and it compounded my feeling of failure, on top of not being able to keep her inside until term. I tried everything but ultimately decided to stop.
I remember one of the, otherwise brilliant, neo natal nurses trying to persuade me to continue as 'breast feeding produced happy hormones for the mother and baby'. As my husband pointed out, there was nothing happy about me at that time...
Giving up was hard, but it was the right decision for me.
Most importantly I have a happy, healthy child, who cares not at all what she was fed as a baby.
There is enough to worry about with a prem baby. There is (as I now know) no shame in accepting that you've tried but it's not meant to be.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

absolutelynotfabulous · 09/12/2021 19:48

Dd was born at 29 weeks and I didn't get any milk either. It wouldn't have occurred to me to stress about it and I never felt pressured. I enjoyed taking the prevailing advice of drinking lots of Guinness and eating Mars Bars but it made no difference, and neither did the vast pumping machine i was lent by the hospital.

Please don't give yourself a hard time. And congrats.