Stopping obsessions about future

[Sophi123]

Is there a way to stop worrying about the what ifs?

I have a gorgeous 32 weeker boy who is a month old and now home with us.

Despite him having a relatively easy journey so far, I am finding myself increasingly worrying about whether he will be healthy, be able to do x, y and z rather than enjoying him.

I know a lot of the posts here are from people experiencing issues with their preemies and/or with the same anxieties about the future as me. But does anyone have any advice on how to just enjoy having your child and focus on the positives and chances that he may well not encounter any problems?

I completely understand your fears, but don't worry yourself (easy to say, I understand!)
My 31 weeker turns 26 next month.

She was monitored so closely for the first couple of years, as you will be. No major problems, problem with one of her eyes, but that could have been incidental. Mild learning support, but that could have been incidental as well.

I panicked, obsessed, was paranoid for the first year and on the morning of her first birthday, it was as if the clouds cleared, the sun came out and I decided to look forward and not backwards.

You will have a great team who will look after you and the baby.

Enjoy your time with your little one

I have a 31+4 weeker who is now coming up 3 and honestly, she had a few delays and she is absolutely tiny, but you wouldn't know that she has been preemie now. It's really scary, especially bringing them home for the first time so you're bound to be thinking the way you are. However I just told myself I can't change what's happened but I can enjoy and be thankful for what we have (we lost her twin brother he was stillborn)... The absolute best you can do is show your little one tons of smiles, speak to them loads because then they will be hearing lots of vocab from the start, play with them, engage with them and that's the best you can do for them at the moment.
When we took DD home they told us that we should forget any milestones for at least 6 months after the time they should have happened . And at 6 months were told to only keep an eye on things, when tthat would be too early to worry. So by that I mean that they give preemies a lot of time to catch up and it is absolutely expected that there will be some delays...
I would recommend speaking to your HV if you have one - I know that may be tricky with covid, we had DD before th pandemic. But ours came round to check in on both us and DD every fortnight so if there had been any delays or concerns they would have been flagged up straight away.
Do you have support in real life OP? As I did find it was quite isolating having a preemie as it's quite a different experience to a full term baby (I have an older DD as well). Support is really important so again reach out to your HV and they may well be able to suggest any extra support available

Congratulations on bringing your baby home @Sophi123

Will you have an outreach worker or nurse from your SCBU visit you at home? We did and she put us in touch with other prem mums and dads. It helps to know they're all not sleeping, getting bigger and thriving etc etc.