Bringing one twin home before the other

[twinnovice]

Hi, my twins were born at 23+4. It's looking highly likely that one will be ready for discharge before the other. The nurses have said this is pretty normal but just wondered if anyone has had this and how they coped? Given their different stages in terms of breathing support currently it looks as though I will be trying breast feeding with my boy in the next couple of weeks (it's him that will be discharged first)- am trying to figure out how we will be able to feed one at home and one in the hospital (however I end up feeding them) plus do all the settling in and getting to know each other with one without the other???!!!!

@twinnovice congratulations! That’s incredible that your twins are doing so well after being born so early. My dd was 25weeks and a single so I didn’t have the juggling act to do (although I did have other kids at home). I was in for ages though and saw lots of twins where one went home first.

Most of the parents I knew bottle fed. They also had someone at home to leave one twin with when they visited the other. Do you have someone around? Or could you team up with someone like a grandparent, partner or friend - worth thinking about now so they can consider isolating.

Preemies seem to take to combination feeding better than full term babies, I reckon they learn to feed from both when they’re too young to be fussy! So you could leave the home twin with a bottle and go in to feed the hospital twin.

There’s an excellent Facebook group called “parents of preemies uk” where you will get better advice

I didn’t want to just read and leave. Although I don’t have any advice, I just wanted to say a Congratulations on your twins. I can’t even begin to imagine how terrifying and difficult it has been having two preemies and being in and out of the hospital. Good luck with everything x

Congratulations
My DS was the most poorly at birth 33+1 and kept getting hospital acquired infections, but my DD lost a lot of weight. In the end I brought DS home before DD, but only by 5-6 days. It felt really odd leaving her there by herself and made the logistics of going back to do her cares a nightmare as hospital was an hour each way and had DD1 at home too and often DS needed fed at the same time as his twin. I couldn’t drive after a CS so had a to have a rota of family/friends to drive me to hospital, someone to look after DS and another for DD1. Looking back it wasn’t easy, but we all survived and was a strong foundation for me always treating them as individuals. Good luck OP.

My twins were ready to leave the Nicu at differing times, the nurses suggested that I did not take one without the other and asked that I wait until they were both ready. They said that I wouldn't be able to bring the baby back into the ward which would be difficult to manage and also that they didn't want me to have any issues in terms of bonding? I followed as they suggested which was hard and my older twin came home when the second one was ready.

Thanks all for your replies. I def think bottle feeding will have to factor in. As you say @peajotter husband at home could do bottle feeds whilst I'm at hospital and vice versa- ultimately I suppose we will just have to make it work- luckily we are not too far from the hospital.

@isittimetogotobed I don't think keeping my son there longer will be an option from what the nurses are saying. It's a level 3 hospital so the beds are in demand as it is - oh well they will certainly have a story to tell when they are older!!

@fizzandchips yep it's the feeding at the same time issue that worries me, I haven't started breast feeding yet but the SALT and the nurses keeps saying by the way they are sucking away on their dummies and licking me when we have skin to skin that they should take the breast well so I really want to give that the best chance!

I'm not in the UK but one of my twins was discharged first I got to bring her back in while I was visiting the second. They had a cot that was wheeled in for her when she was there. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to visit my second one. Ask they might be able to do the same. I know some hospitals have a policy of not allowing babies back in though.

As you get closer to discharge get them to put your babies on the same schedule at times that work for you. Will make it so much easier to manage when you get home.

One of my twins was discharged 3 weeks before the other.
It was hard work.
I exclusively breastfed. My son was still being tube fed when my daughter was discharged, I’d feed my daughter when we were at home and then express straight afterwards for my son.
I took my daughter to the hospital with me and just popped her in the same cot as my son.
I found it hard going and think the nurses were worried about how I was coping. My son was discharged 3 weeks later weighing just 3lb 7 - they said they would normally keep him in until 5lb but thought it was best for all of us if he came home.
Look after yourself and don’t forget to eat!

I didnt have twins but my mum did.

If you want to bf, I would have a go at pumping the other side while the one twin feeds. Swap which boob gets the pump and which gets the baby each feed. Store expressed milk in fridge (24-48 hours) or freezer (I think about 3 months but probably longer). Then you are protecting milk supply and when your other twin is ready, you can have a go at feeding both if you want to?

If logistics get in the way nothing stopping you using formula as well.