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Premature birth

Connect with others and find premature birth support.

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Original poster

Help my 8 month old premature is so unhappy

13 replies

Seompmha · 14/02/2020 20:47

My little girl was born 31 weeks ( 2 months early) she is now 8 months old (6 months corrected ) it seems like she gets upset all the time over the slightest little thing. She had meltdowns and when she cries she screams. It is not at any specific time and is not related to wind or teething. All I can think is that it is because she has an under developed brain and can't control her emotions. Does anyone else have any experience of this? Is this common for premature babies? How do you cope? When will she grow out of it? It is so upsetting and draining to see your baby unhappy all the time. She would let me hug and rock her all day if I could. I can't get anything done. Help :(

OP posts:

Amigoingmad29weeks · 15/02/2020 05:40

Is this your first baby? Much of that sounds normal baby. They don't even know what emotions are, let alone how to control them. In my experience they all want to be held and cuddled and you just have to set your mind that you won't get anything done for a bit. Having said that i sense extra frustration in my preemie that i didn't in my full term baby. I think it comes from having an old head on his shoulders. Mentally he's ready to do more than he's physically able to yet. I expect it to lessen when his body catches up a bit more.

TreesSandSea · 15/02/2020 05:44

Yup, sounds like a standard baby to me too. Things will get better, meanwhile I would give her the comfort she needs.

eurochick · 15/02/2020 05:53

I also thought "normal baby". But I would say trust your instincts and if you feel something is really wrong get her checked over.

UpsAndDowns13 · 15/02/2020 07:34

My 28 weeker was very much like this! Very very hard work and generally unhappy unless being held and talked to etc. She still needs a lot of stimulation and interaction now at 2 but it does get easier as they get on the move and become more independent. I suspect prem babies can be more fussy than term babies, but I also think it's just being a baby! And lots of babies are this way. Hang in there, it will get easier.

mistermagpie · 15/02/2020 08:05

I think that sounds a lot like a standard baby I'm afraid. Also, no 6 (or 8) month olds can 'control their emotions' so I would give up on that idea until she is maybe late teens!

Lots of babies get unsettled during developmental 'leaps' so give that a google. But I firmly believe there are some babies who just don't like being babies. One of mine was like this, he was so grumpy as a baby and hated everything. There was a brief window when he started walking when he cheered up but then he started being grumpy again. Almost as soon as he could talk it was like a light went on and he's now two and has the sunniest disposition of anyone I've ever met. I think he just didn't like being a baby and was frustrated at not being able to move and talk!

teapotter · 15/02/2020 08:17

Some babies are fussier than others. My prem was actually easier than my two full term. I remember being so pleased when people asked me how she was and I could say “terrible at the moment- but normal baby problems”. At 30weeks+ very few prem babies have brain/mental issues. Just keep repeating “it’s a phase”. Oh, I found a sling really helped too. If she’s done lots of skin-to-skin over the months then resist the temptation to put her down to play all the time now she’s bigger, she’ll still want to be near you. It will pass!

teapotter · 15/02/2020 08:21

At this age you could also try a back sling and a hippy chick, both useful for getting stuff done while holding a baby, as well as the front wraps. Mine came home on oxygen so spent a lot of time in the front sling with the tank on my back, she loved it and I could easily get jobs done and pop to the shops.

VisionQuest · 15/02/2020 08:27

I was a week overdue and my son was a challenging baby. There wasn't much that would please him or make him happy, however much I tried!

Original poster

Seompmha · 15/02/2020 09:51

Thankyou for your responses I feel alot better knowing this is just a normal baby thing. I see other babies and they seem so happy and content. Now I know other babies are like this I can worry a little less. My parents also say it's because I tend to her alot. But I don't agree with this because the times I have tried to leave her crying (for less than 5 minutes) she has become so distraught it's upsetting for everyone.

OP posts:

eurochick · 15/02/2020 10:56

Do you have the wonder weeks app? It predicts developmental leaps and sunny/stormy periods based on predicted due date (so adjusts for prematurity). I found it remarkably accurate for my (prem) baby.

Mercedes519 · 15/02/2020 11:11

So, you need to so listening to your parents and anyone else. She is your baby and you will do what is right for her. You know her best.

All of these things are a phase and you’ll get through them.

Whoops75 · 15/02/2020 11:18

Some babies are needy,

My 4th child decided at birth the being more than 2 inches away from me wasn’t acceptable. I got a sling and she stayed in that until she could crawl.
She’s 10 now and still very stuck on me.

I don’t think you can spoil babies.
Have also heard great thinks about the wonder week app.
I’d have loved that x

Enjoy your dd

zasknbg · 15/02/2020 11:19

Honestly, I would hug her all day and not do whatever else you are trying to do. I did this with my ds, I had to. It will be temporary, she'll be walking in a few months' time. But now, yes I would hold her so she is happy.

Your parents are wrong and it can be very tiring dealing with this attitude. Your baby wants your love and warmth. She will thrive with it.

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