Anyone here born premature themselves?

[Jmommy]

Hello,
I’ve been a premie weighing about 3lb. Was wondering if any of you posters here have been preemies yourselves. I wanted to bring up my experience about having been a preemie and I am of course curious if anyone recognizes any of these feelings.

As a child having been a preemie kind of made me feel different to everyone else. This was largely due to the continuous comments from the environment, along the lines of “oh how small you were” etc. Remember occasions when I’d run into someone with my mom and they’d ask if I’m the one born tiny (mom has two dc, my dsis full term). Or my mom would also mention it casually here and there, it felt almost as if I was defined by it!
Here was a thread about preemies’ birthday and how moms have been sad about it being when it is, and not at the correct time. I can’t remember if this was ever voiced by my parents but I did have a sense that my birth wasn’t in the same way a happy event as everyone else’s. Also got a lot of the comments about how small I was and blabla on my bdays, which I disliked. As an adult still it crosses my mind on my bday that it’s not supposed to be now but much later. And unfortunately I think this feeling of being different has had its impact on my self esteem.

Anyone felt the same as a child? To the parents here I’d like to point out that pls minimize your child’s feeling of being different due to premature birth. I’m not sure how to do it, as of course u can’t control the comments from the environment and not all kids see those as negative of course. I myself often felt embarrassed by it. But I’d say definitely tell the child that they were a preemie, but don’t make it into a big deal and try to make them feel they are no different, talk about it in a neutral or positive way. Don’t go on and on about how poorly and small they were and definitely celebrate their bday without any sentiment that their birth was a shocking and traumatic event, instead of a happy one!

I haven’t seen really any posts about this and wonder if I’ve simply been very sensitive to pick up those ideas, or if there are others out there who have felt the same.

I was born at 33 weeks and luckily quite healthy considering.
I've never had the comments you have said though. My mum me tons just how small I was when I was born but I'm still small now but my dads short.

I've never even gave it a second thought about my birthday either in all honesty x

Me tons was meant to say mentions

That’s good you haven’t had the same experience- maybe it isn’t common! Hope so in any case :) maybe more an issue for the more premature though.

It's a shame you've had such comments. How premature were you?

Was 28 weeks but that actually wasn’t particularly brought up almost never by relatives or others in general. I just know it as my mom would sometimes mention it at the doctors or so. And guess seen it on some papers or so.

My uncle who is now 50 was born at 27 weeks we only found out recently! He’s 6ft 1!

My eldest wasn’t prem (37 weeks) but was in NICU for RSD. No one mentions it! Mainly as it was so traumatic for everyone!

I commented on the other thread. I used to feel sad on my sons birthday. However, it's not something I had ever voiced. The small comments are hard to stop. I do wonder how it will affect him and how he remembers his childhood. However any explanation about his arrival has always been discussed as we were so lucky to have him. I hope he never knows the sadness I used to feel

My 13 year 27+ weeker daughter is 5ft 7 and growing so she’s never had the tiny comments except when she was too small to remember them.
It does mean people could never understand why we kept her, a summer baby, back a year.

DH was born at 31 weeks. His siblings were both premies too and so i dont think a big deal was made out of it. He doesnt seem bothered, he's 6ft 3 and has been tall since childhood so comments about size are a bit meh.

Were you quite big for 28 weeks OP? I weighed the same at 35 weeks. I was obviously not very premature at all. My mum told me that I was smaller than most babies to explain why I was smaller than other children when I was growing up. She was never sad or bothered by it so I was not either.

I was born a month early weighing 1lb. I was really small! I'm still small/short at 5'0 (my biological mother was 4'11 I think? I'm adopted) and people say that is adorable or joke about it. I've never did feel different, just special. I actually enjoy being short and small and learned how to love it.