How can I help sister after premature birth?

[Worrywart21]

My sister had her baby a few days ago at 34 weeks. the baby is in neonatal and my sister is on the ward. They are hoping to be moved to transitional care as the baby is responding well to treatment.

The birth was totally unexpected. She had just moved into her new house the day before she went into labour. It’s a new build so thankfully not much to do but nothing was unpacked or organised.

What do you think would help?

I’m going up when I can to help her whilst her husband goes back to the house to unpack. Today I also went to the house and tried to unpack but it’s hard as I’m not sure where things go.

I also went to pick her pram up for her as it’s an hour drive away and thought it would help. I then went to her house and set it up. I sent her a photo hoping it would put her mind at ease to know it’s all set up but she’s not replied so now doubting myself and maybe she’s upset as she wanted to do this... trying to help but also trying not to step on her toes.

I took washing home and hung it up for them as their clotheshorses were full.

Any ideas...

You can use phones in NICU so that may explain the lack of reply.

Take her decent food to hospital, that's the best thing you can do, that's and things to do, it's so boring and there's only so long you can stare at a sleeping baby.

Thanks, I’ll think of things to take with me. I also have 2 young kids and no childcare expect during school hours which isn’t usually visiting hours so struggling to get up to see them.

What a lovely gesture to do the washing (and yes continue on with this!) and what a wonderful sister you are.

Having only sent 2 days on a mat ward, i can say the things I needed were

• more underwear than I anticipated
• more PJ's than I anticipated
• buy her some little energy bars or flapjacks to snack on
• cook a meal for her husband/partner this will put her mind at rest that he's being fed whilst he tries to sort the house out

I would leave putting anything together unless she asks you to as it's quite personal.

Has baby got enough premature clothes? Boots do a lovely range.

Just ask her what she needs, I am sure she will tell you. Z

Can you get her some stuff to read, books or magazines? I used to just sit with DS some days and read. Some nice hand cream as lots of hand washing can cause dry hands. Tiny baby clothes - Mothercare, Tesco and Asda have prem ranges. Also can you batch cook some food for their freezer so they've got easy food to eat.

NICU my DS was in had bad reception so messages didnt get through for ages. My SIL and MIL did lots of the things you've done and I was so grateful. What I really wanted was something easygoing to read so people bought me Stephen King and Marian Keyes stuff (my faves!). SIL made us microwave lasagna to eat in the parent room and it was honestly one of the best things I've ever eaten. All the best!

I don't have much to advise on really, but wanted to say what a lovely sister you are! You sound so considerate! I hope her stay in hospital is short and that the baby is doing well soon. I'm sure she appreciates what you are doing for her.

When my ds appeared very unexpectedly, I really appreciated the friends who came and put together the cot etc. Other than that, getting a lovely baby toy that could go in the incubator, M&S meals, and these days I'd get a chill water bottle so she could have a cold drink.

If there's a Costa or similar at the hospital then a gift card would be great. A coffee and sandwich most days really adds up at a time when finances maybe tighter than planned due to a early start to mat leave.