Preemie DTs, one still in hospital

[nailsathome]

I had my DTs 2 1/2 weeks ago at 34 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. Both of them had to spend time in scbu and DT1 was discharged with me after 11 days. DT2 is still in hospital and it's breaking my heart. She's taken a step backwards today and had to go back into an incubator. Everything is so up and down. I feel so guilty leaving her there but I also have 2 other children at home and I feel guilty that I'm so stressed and anxious at the moment that I'm not engaging with them properly either.

I don't really know why I'm posting. I think it's because no one understands. They say things like "oh she'll be home soon" or "she's in good hands/being looked after". I just want all of my children with me together

It is hard. She's with the best baby sitters she'll ever have though. I get you, I've been there.

That's an awful situation to be in. You cant be in two places at once and I hope you are all together soon.

Feel for you. It’s hard and post natal hormones are probably not helping.
Do you have help with practical things ?
And congratulations!!

It is hard OP. I’ve been there also with the pre eclampsia at 34 weeks. Congratulations on twins wonderful.

It’s common for prem babies to go backwards after improving I’m afraid.

I had a toddler at home and a preemie in nicu and I totally understand the feeling of not having enough time for everybody and wanting and needing to be in two places at once. Hang in there, hopefully it’ll be over very soon

Thank you all for your comments. It doesn't help that I'm still sore from my csec and trying to process the whole situation.

The SCBU staff will understand. Build relationships with your nurses, then you feel "friends" are caring for your baby. And they really do care, a lot.

Poor you that sounds rubbish and really stressful. I think probably there's nothing people can really say that will make it instantly easier but just try to remember that very very soon you will have all of your children together and this will seem like a distant dream. Ds was in hospital for five weeks after his birth I remember being desperate to just put him in his pram and go for a little walk. Several of his little friends experienced going backwards as you describe. As pp said it's normal. BUT they are all now healthy, happy four year olds. Hang in there

It’s hard, it really is. I had a 26 weeker who spent 9 weeks in NICU/SCBU and a 5 year old who was just so bewildered by what had happened. The only advice I can give is this. Take one day at a time. Take all the painkillers you can for your C section. Take lots of photos of your twin at home and the one in hospital. Keep a diary so if you have any medical questions you can write it down. And come and vent here. We get it. We really do. And fingers crossed, your other twin will be home soon too.

She woke and demanded her feeds for the first time last night

Yay. Good girl. One step closer to home!