Friend will be having a preemie

[PhoenixJasmine]

My friend is in hospital with pre-eclampsia at 31 weeks, they're moving her to somewhere with a premature baby unit as it looks like she'll have to deliver early. There might be some problems with the baby growing properly.

Someone has told her that baby's chances are 50/50? Does that sound right? I thought 30+ weekers tended to do ok nowadays.

Also, I don't know if we'll be able to visit her whilst she's in, but what sort of things would you appreciate a friend could bring you if you went through something similar? I was thinking nice posh shower gel/hand cream, trashy mags, favourite snacky junk food? Anything more practical? Thinking hopefully she won't have to deliver just yet and she'll be in being monitored for a while longer.

It's all so worrying and I'm quite removed from the situation really, cant imagine how she's feeling at the moment.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Did a medical person tell her 50/50?

I had ds at 32 weeks due to PE and he's 16 now and 6ft2 and strong as an ox. No issues at all. Stayed in SCBU for 3 weeks. He was 3lbs 9 when he was born .

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

What about babies born at 28 to 31 weeks' gestation?

These babies look quite similar to babies born earlier, although they are larger (usually between 2 and 4 pounds) and even more likely to survive (about 96 percent).

Most require treatment with oxygen, surfactant, and mechanical assistance to help them breathe. Some of these babies can be fed breast milk or formula through a tube threaded through their nose or mouth into the stomach, although others will need to be fed intravenously

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I googled survival rates.

[littlemissneela]

I had a 31 weeker, and it is a very scary time. Mine was early due to an infection, and she managed to stay inside for two days and have both the lung maturing drugs before she arrived. That was 17, almost 18 years ago.
I didn't know until a long while after but it was touch and go a few times with her.
I think things I would have loved to have had then would have been wipes to freshen up, some nice drinks (flavoured waters, squash, fizzy water), small snacks, a nice body lotion and hand cream. Body shop used to do an amazing peppermint leg cream which was amazing and reviving tired legs, an eye sleep mask to help with any daytime naps.
Just be there for your friend as she will be feeling anxious about all thats going on. I don't know what the survival rates are for prem babies but I imagine the 50/50 is down to lots of factors. Have they managed to give both doses of the lung maturing drugs? What weight baby is. Sadly sometimes prem babies just don't thrive for whatever reason. But be assured the NICU unit will do everything they can in the best interest for the baby. They are the most amazing drs and nurses and must see so much heartbreak in their department.
Your friend is very lucky to have someone like you, and I hope everything goes well for her and her baby

Just remembered, NICU gave me a first photo of mine when she was in the incubator just before being whisked away (I didn't see her for a while after being born, but can't remember just how long now), anyway maybe a small frame that a Polaroid photo will fit in to have on her bedside table.

[PhoenixJasmine]

Thanks for those ideas, looks like we might be going to see her in the next few days once we know where she's moving to so I'll start collecting a little care box for her.

I was googling survival rates too Dame. Not sure who told her the 50/50 or how many complications there are at the moment though.

[Ginmummy1]

If she's at known risk of delivering early, I'm sure they will have got the steroid shots into her, to mature the baby's lungs. Otherwise, it's true that otherwise healthy 31-weekers have an extremely good chance of being absolutely fine, but of course it depends on the individual case - whether the pre-eclampsia has affected the baby.

The main thing is that she's in hospital, being carefully monitored. They will deliver the baby when they feel they need to, in the best interests of mother and baby.

Your idea of things to bring in for your friend sounds lovely. I can't think of anything to add. The only thing I'd say about food is to check whether her diet is being managed carefully due to the pre-eclampsia (I have no idea so it might be no concern). You could put in something for the other visitors to eat though, so she can act like the gracious hostess from her hospital bed!

[user1493413286]

Hand cream is a lovely gift when your baby is in special care as your hands crack with how much you wash your hands. A little memory box can be nice as well as they give you everything to keep.
Also I appreciated my friends offering help to my partner as he was always either working or at the hospital so people buying some shopping for him or making meals he could microwave were invaluable; same when baby is hospital and both parents are visiting.

[Witch91]

A costa voucher (or similar depending on what is at the hospital she'll be in) would be appreciated I'm sure. We spent so much money in costa when my daughter was in NICU because it was the only place to get a break on site. Also maybe micro nappies for baby? Asda do a great preemie range of clothes, but baby might not need clothes for a while, so you probably won't know what size they need by then.

[10storeylovesong]

A costa voucher is a great idea, and definitely second the hand cream. She may end up expressing a lot and I hadn't thought of things like nipple cream or pads so ended up sending DH out for them (27 weeker).

Also second the help for partner - my DH was in bits, scared he would lose us both but trying to be strong for me. A couple of friends gave him lifts o and from hospital when he was tired and brought him meals. It meant more to me than the stuff for me as everyone else was focussed on me and baby and forgot him.

Above all else, just be there.

[willothewisp17]

I was admitted to hospital with preeclampsia and delivered at 30+6 weeks and yes, my girl had a hard time but fought all the way and is home now and as bright as a button!

[willothewisp17]

adding to that, what I really wanted while I was in hospital was company! and decent food as hospital food is just 💩💩! you seem like a lovely friend xx

[BlytheofWindyWillows]

I had my DD at 32 weeks due to placenta previa. She was 4lb 1oz and got home after 24 days in NICU. As the PP said something nice to eat and company were all I really wanted. I also second Asda's baby range.

[ScarletSienna]

I found NICU warm and dry so lip balm would have been great. A drink and lunch in the hospital cafe would have been welcome too. We were really grateful when someone printed or a photo I'd sent them so I could have it at home when I had to leave DC there. It can help bonding milk production to have something smelling of the baby and them having something smelling of you so a muslin cut into smaller squares then the edges resewn would be a lovely gift-the baby has one and you keep one in your bra or up your top then you swap over.

[Sadmum23]

Granddaughter born at 32 weeks minor problem resolved quickly now a thriving 8 year old, bright no health issues. Hope all goes well

[EggysMom]

I had a 29weeker with growth issues, he was born weighing 1lb 6oz!

My main problems in the hospital were food and boredom. I had people sneak me in MaccyDs and Subways, as over the two weeks I was there, the ward menu repeated a number of times. Whilst I spent the daytimes on NICU, evenings were very boring, so I watched movies on an MP4 with earbuds or read books (pre-Kindle era).

[GreenTulips]

Packet of mints - dry mouth on dry hospital!
Snacks - lots of them and variety
Drinks
New pjs might be welcomed

[namechangedtoday15]

A notebook and pen so she can jot down her feelings, keep a diary. Kept me sane. Can someone download box sets or similar on to a tablet?

I was told my 27 weekers had a 90% chance of survival so 50/50 at 31 weeks seems odd.

Good luck to you all x

[Lilypad78]

It must differ between hospitals, my DD was born at 27 weeks & the specialists we spoke to before she was born specifically said they don't give percentages as every situation can be different & there are so many factors which could impact her chances. She is now a perfectly healthy 4 yr old xxx

[Crownandheelshigh]

Hello.
On the 18/08/2017 I had an emergency c section due to pre eclampsia. I had initially been admitted the day before for "monitoring".
My little boy was born at 31 + 5 and the only help he needed was a breathing tube to stop his lungs sticking together, he's been free of this tube as of the 19/08/17.
He's in special care but only because he was born prematurely and has a feeding tube for the same reason.
I hope your friend is ok.
I appreciated my friends bringing me snacks, squash, magazines, books and a friend lent me her iPad to watch catch up tv on! Xx