don't ask me about my birth experience, it doesn't count apparently

[thecrab]

I had my son at 32 weeks, a friend asked me about my birth experience so I told her. Honestly, despite it being early, spontaneous, traumatic, it wasn't awful (pain wise). I mentioned how I'd do it all again, giving birth was a great experience (despite it all).

Another friend chimes in about how small my baby was so basically the pain wouldn't have been the same as if I gave birth full term.

So yeah, I guess my experience wasn't valid.

That really hurt. Just wanted to vent.

Don't worry, mine don't count either because there wasn't really any pain, it just stung a bit. But I must be lying apparently.

I gave birth at 30 weeks and have had loads of comments about how easy my birth must have been. The actual birth was easy and fast but the contractions hurt like hell. Whoever says birthing a small baby is less painful than birthing an average sized one doesn't know what they're talking about, because the intensity of the contractions does not depend on the size of the baby. I wouldn't take your friend's comment to heart, she clearly doesn't know much about childbirth. Congratulations on your LO

Being honest, I've had two preemies. 24 weeker weighing 1lbs 5oz and a 33 weeker 4lbs 12oz. With my daughter (24 weeker) it hurt but it was over pretty quickly. The contractions where manageable with codeine and gas and air and although the pressure of feeling her in me was horrible it wasn't painful and nor was pushing her out.

But oh my god with my son the pressure of him in me felt horrible and I tore up. That was defiantly more painful. But I guess my daughter is much much smaller than him.

I got told mine didn't count because I had an emergency section. Okay, we'll ignore the 53 hours back to back, and the fact that the epidural failed mid section. Totally took the easy way out.

Ha, this reminds me of the comment a family friend made on hearing I'd had DD at 34 weeks and 4lb 15

"lucky minipie to have such a small baby"

yes, lucky me to have all the stress of an unexpected birth of 34 weeks, 3.5 weeks in hospital, a much more difficult newborn, endless developmental concerns...

The birth wasn't too bad painwise - although considerably more painful than my 6lb 13 DD2 - but in every other way it sucked.

My ds was born at 30 weeks. Placental abruption meant a very fast labour, with the bleeding causing irritation in the uterus and very painful contractions! He was only 3lb 7oz but i definitely remember those forceps going in (no time for epidural) and was bruised black and blue right down my inner thighs! Tell her she can have an opinion on birth when she's done it!

Had a similar comment from my own mother not long after giving birth! People really are twits....

I had my baby at 35 weeks, am still recovering physically and am no where near as healthy mentally about this as I should be. I was readmitted with my DD when she was a week old - she was jaundiced and I was medically exhausted and in shock. I'm now 24hours into her second stay in hospital (Admitted with bronchiolitis). So Yeh, she might have been easier to push out being small - didn't feel like it, I needed a cut and I grazed. But what comes afterward is torture. I've had the same comments though - they've added to my mental ill health if I'm honest. It's bad enough I feel guilty that I couldn't keep her in till her due date. It invalidates your experience comments like this.
I wouldn't be friends with her after this tbh - I'd at least be distancing myself. You don't need such negativity.