How can I prepare for having a preemie? Anyone had a cervical stitch?

[LittleBairn]

I'm currently 26+4 and basically on borrowed time my consultant doesn't think I will go past 28 weeks.

So questions:
How many People were present at the delivery? I'm very very stressed out at the thought of birthing to an audience.

If you were on celexen(sp?) blood thinning injections when did you stop them, did it cause extra complications during birth? I was thinking I might prefer a C-section if possbe due to the whole audience issue.

How soon were you/DH/DP allowed into neonatal to see your baby?
I've read a few stories about not being allowed in for the first 6 hours, is this true? DH in particular will be querying the legality if so.

I would like to BF but understand this isn't possible to beginning but I can express BM. Afterwards did your baby manage BF at the breast?

Has anyone taken DHA supplements? Do you feel they made a difference? I've been taking some but just realised at 10mg its a low dose just about to order the higher dose ones from Nordic Naturals.

Is there anything I can do to prepare or do I just need to accept it and let the dr/midwives/nurses be in charge?

Anything you would like to been told in advance?

My story lost DS at 16 week, DD1 at 19 weeks and despite my history I was refused an early cervical stitch but was monitored closely.
At 20 weeks I was found to be funneling, only had 1.4mm left so a stitch was put in and then I was sent home after measuring 3.86. A week later I was 1.3 i was admitted for tilted bed rest for 5 weeks.
I got up to 1.8 but then on Tuesday found to be right back at the stitch, basically the tilt wasn't working and I've been allowed home on strict bed rest to wait it out.
We got the steroid injections at 24 weeks, I'm on Asprin, blood thining injections, Cyclogest pessaries and 1000mg of Vit C a day

The hospital has been evasive about what happens next in particular the deliver and neo natal care. All I've been told is they can't guarantee me & baby a bed (this is more to do with labour ward being over-crowded than neo-natal) I was warned because they would want to send me to the hospital my babies died in.
Under no circumstances will I accept this we are just about to start dealing with them due to their incompetence contributing to my DDs death and we know recently that there was an investigation into the neo-natal unit and the unusual amounts of neo-natal deaths.

Don't want to read and run you sound as if your really going through it. I was on blood thining injections for 5 days prior to my csection and they told me there needs to be 24 hours before they'd operate unless it was an emergency but they can do it in an emergency ii don't know if this is the same if you'd been on them a long time. My son's a 33 weeker so more further along I had a csection under a ga so no one could come in the room but my son was born at 7.40 pm even though he was not breathing and critical his dad was called 2 be with him by around 7.50 while they intubated him and taken straight through whilst they put him in the noatal unit. I met a girl whilst in the nicu with a very young preemie who had fought to have it transferred to the hospital I was in and the baby was only a few days so it can be done. Hopefully someone will be along with more info my thoughts are with you and hopefully it will go as well as it can. By the way I found my obstetricians I litlle bit evasive but once born neonatoligists and neonatal nurses where amazing and I felt safe u will learn to trust them as they was the best for your baby.

Oh and during my csection there where 5 neonatoligists and about 7 other obstetricians surgeons aneastnatists. So a good room full but that was a csection wouldn't know with a vaginal birth.

summer thank you so much for your post you have really helped I had though I would have to be off the blood thinners for weeks so only 24 hours min is good.
12 Drs present sounds like a lot but I could cope with that for a C-section but no way for a vaginal. I should add I delivered (admittedly small) alone both times the first time accidentally the 2nd time I just went for it when midwife and DH were breifly out the room.
DH pointed out afterwards I delivered in the exact same style as the first time clearly I'm a private deliverer.

Its great to know the neonatologist are more forth coming, a midwife at hospital did say they would arrange for me to meet one if they though I would deliver soon bit that never happened because we all though the stitch was doing fine and I might have a fair bit of time left.

I feel a little less in the dark now, most of our anxiety is down to just not being able to ask questions so our imagination is running wild.

I don't have personal experience, sorry, only that of my friend. She lost 3 babies, 2 of them very late, and the hospital still refused a stitch so with her 6th pregnancy she went to another hospital and the stitch worked. It shocks me that anywhere would refuse it, but that is another thread... Her baby was born full term after months of bed rest at home.

Good Luck! I hope it all goes well. At the end of the day it will just be thrilling to have a baby, so try not to (easier said that done) worry too much in advance.

I pumped for one baby in Special Care (I had twins and one had problems). It was very discouraging if I'm honest as I would pump for ages and ages and have such a tiny amount, so don't feel too discouraged if you don't get a lot, I think it's normal.

Merry so pleased your friend finally had a successful pregnancy. Unfornately it seems to be the common attitude in the NHS towards women with an incompetent cervix we have to have many loses before we are taken seriously and helped.
I too had to switch hospital, the best decision I ever made, in order to be taken seriously. While they refused a preventative stitch they did keep a very close eye on me hence we caught the shorting just in time and I was in theater 6 hours later having a stitch.

Ah yes pumping I can't say I'm looking too forward to that but I know it will be worth it.

Today despite rotten cold I've started to feel excited about meeting my baby, despite the circumstances not being ideal I'm still really excited to finally meet her and be a mother.
I hope that doesn't sound too twisted I would be happy for her to stay put all the way to 36 weeks too!

I hope this helps and answers some of your questions but may seem harsh to you.

Firstly, accept what is happening, hard though it is. You not your husband is in control, it's your baby and your medical team here.

Nobody will be in that room who doesn't need to be, but realistically tough. Accept that many people will be there and rightly so. Neonates will be waiting for you to deliver to immediately take the baby, for air, reauscitation and care, so they will be there in the room at the delivery. Quite a few too. And realistically you want the safest outcome so they will be there. I doubt you would tell them to leave so you don't have people there as that would endanger baby. They will be too busy getting ready for the baby to care about you. Neonates actually do nothing with the mother that's up to the obs and gynae people.

Regarding seeing the baby, that depends. My best advice is to stop bandying round the legalities and work with them. At that stage it's not about you or your husband and your want to see the baby it's about the baby. They will let you come in as soon as possible. Your husband may get first and it may only be for a few mins to look. It's honestly dependant on the care your baby needs. They aren't intentionally keeping you out.

Neonates are fab at communicating with you, even when your in postnatal and the baby is in the unit. The unit can be scary and very tough when your can't hold your baby etc but the nurses and doctors are fab at talking you through everything.

I understand it will be tough to go to that hospital but honestly if it's the only cot available with the right equipment then there isn't a lot of option. Again it depends on babies needs. If baby just needs a cot in scbu there is a lot more choice than if they need a high intensity cot in the icu in scbu as there are many less of these. They will discuss transfer with you/dh as soon as possible. They will have you labour in the hospital that has a cot so you will have some idea. Also I have often seen a baby have to be transferred from one unit to another for a treatment that only that unit provides. It's hard to know what your personal situation is without knowing the hospitals and the options available. No one will be aiming for unnecessary stress for you but at this stage once baby is born it's about the best treatment for your baby and that comes above your desire for a hospital. Imagine your baby is struggling and needs x or y treatment only available at the hospital you don't like, whilst hard you would want them to have that treatment. Discuss with your dh that he could go with baby etc.

I know that's more about neonates than your care etc but however scary, keep the communication open and you'll get lots of wonderful advice. Ask the next time your at the hospital if you could have a quick look at the neonatal unit, it may or may not be possible depending on the babies there but I can't see any reason why someone can't come down and talk to you.

Also there is lots of pumping advice available and neonates can lend you a hospital Grade pump etc and breastfeeding, speech and language for latch etc later and dietetics will all see your baby.

I agree baby comes first but that doesn't mean I should be subjected to a room full of people when pushing when I KNOW it will leave me psychotically scared.
Maybe I'm a bad mother already? But I do believe that women have rights during birth too.

We can't go to the other hospital this is non negotiable I won't EVER allow anothe baby of mine to be delivered there (we are about to start suing them!) but there are other options. I should add this other hospital was only suggested because I'm near it it doesn't actually have a NICU from what was previously said they only take from 32 weeks.
Seriously 5 babies died on a normal ward I was on in a 10 day period and many died over that period in their neonatal department. If my daughter was born there I have no confidence she will come out alive.

So sorry for your losses OP but another one suggesting you drop your confrontational attitude to the people who will be doing their best to care for your daughter. Your anger isn't going to help you, them or her and has no place in a neonatal ward which I found to be a uniquely nurturing and supportive environment. It's also a shit scary place to be and if baby arrives soon you're likely to be 'living' there for 3-6 months so take all the support you can and save your energy because you will need it. My dd arrived at 27+3, she was a cs as she turned breech after a fast and painless labour, but despite not needing a whiff of gas and air I simply can't recall the number of people in the room, on my scale of concerns it just didn't feature. I found her silent birth, the paedophiles running her out of the room unseen to get her on a vent and my exh sobbing far more traumatic than how full the room was. I had a pic of my dd to cuddle almost at once and saw her within six hours without a court order. They don't exclude you to be cruel. If you have a cs you will need to be monitored for a while post op and frankly you can't unsee some of the procedures they have to perform to keep your child alive. I don't want to see my dd incubated again and I took advice about deliberately avoiding her rop eye tests at the end of her stay after being present for most other 'cares'. Take care and good luck. I bf for two years so don't give up hope on that score. Channel your energy into it.

Paed not fecking paedophiles Jesus wept Apple spell check!

If they don't have a nicu and can't take babies until 32 weeks you can't go there so stop stressing yourself out about it. You will be sent to a hospital that allows less that 32 weeks but it may not be close.

Your rights in that room go out the window when there is a baby involved. This is harsh but quite frankly your child needs those people there. every precious second counts. Some premmies are born straight into a bag and resucitated like that. They really won't care what you are doing, neonates are for the baby, obstetric team for you. I could tell you every baby resus I have been at, couldn't tell you a thing about the mum involved. If it's a choice between having people there and a live baby I'd choose that over any number of people.

Quite frankly I think you need to realise that whilst your views and wishes will be considered and where possible worked around, they won't be the priority of the team caring for your child. Your child's health will be, as I'm sure you want it to be.

I will be hiding this thread now as per usual MN really isn't the place for genuine support. I have other places avalible to me.

holiday thank you for kicking a rather terrified and traumatised woman.

Littlebairn I'm actually trying to help. I'm trying to explain what will happen, why some of your frets aren't things to worry about and what you can do.

I could come on here and say there there op, you can have everything you want and it will all be wonderful. Except that won't happen. I'd like you to be as prepared as possible.

My best wishes for a safe and healthy delivery.

I'm really shocked at some of the responses on here. We're not talking to some scared woman on her first baby. This lady has delivered 2 babies who died. And the hospital it happened at sound, frankly, incompetent. We all appreciate the NHS and those who work very hard and provide a fantastic service. I know you are all trying to be helpful and say, it's all about the baby. If it's really all about the baby, they would have protected the baby at that hospital with a stitch. This lady had to move hospital just to get that very minimal treatment! Some units and individual healthcare professionals leave a lot to be desired. And with the grief and pain this lady has been through, these comments are at the best very insensitive and at the worst, downright cruel. If you are healthcare professionals I sincerely hope you deal a lot better with your patients.

Dinkidreams, inappropriate advert for your business- did you even read the OP?