32 weeks prem mum here needing support

[Mumtobenovember]

Hi everyone- I have just had my baby girl at 32 weeks.
The birth was traumatic to say the least I was in hospital just under a week, and she was delivered by emergency c-section due to her being footling breech and also I hemmoraged. I'm finding it so hard she is breathing on her own (they managed to get the steroids in me) and she is on a glucose drip as well as being tube fed. I'm just utterly heart broken leaving that hospital each day/night breaks me I feel so useless and powerless and scared- I can't express I get hardly anything out when I to it's all just too much- does anyone have any advice?

Firstly congratulations.
It's horrible when you have to go home for the first few nights it broke my heart but I found it helpful to go at shift change we had to leave the nursery when the nurses handed over to each other so put ds to bed kissed him good night and left the room because we had too rather then wanted to.
Keep going with the expressing if your worried see if they can give you some domperidron (sp). I fine fennel and oats help and was encouraged to eat lots of veg. Keep your fluids up too nnu's are really hot.
That also helped with the having to leave the hospital at night. I had to eat a healthy dinner to help my ds.

Congratulations on your baby
It is hard but they are well looked after so in the best place for now.
Try and rest you will need your strength for when you all go home.
I have had two at 33 weeks, the bond is there eventhough they were not with me straight away, so do not worty about that. They will not remember it. Take lots of photos, they are hard to look at but ds at 5 loves looking at them now.
The bliss charity help line are great and they maybe able to you get some support for where you are.

Oh sweetheart, a massive hug for you. Congratulations on your DD, I know this isn't how you wanted it to happen but congratulations that she is here anyway.

First of all it's really great news that she's breathing on her own - that helps hugely in terms of avoiding any long term issues. She will

Don't worry too much about the expressing - I mean do give it a go but don't beat yourself up - a small amount at the start can very quickly turn into a lot. Can you look at a picture of your DD while you express? It's supposed to help, also you need to be warm and try to relax (easier said than done). Getting decent amounts of sleep, food and water is important especially if you're in hospital all day, it's easy to forget to look after yourself.

Night times are very hard - but remember you can call the ward if you want to. I used to call after doing my nightly express just to see how DD was doing. Take lots of photos while you are there so you can look at her at home and bond a bit that way.

I stayed in hospital for the first 10 days after DD was born, and when I did go home I found it helped to have got to know the night time nurses, so I wasn't leaving her with strangers iyswim. Maybe if you could stay late a few evenings you could get to know the night shift and that might help?

Thanks for your replies everyone she's making progress she may be out of an incubator today and Into a cot! So I'm really pleased!! Her only troubles now are holding her feeds down she's a bit of a sicky pup..
I just want her home though x

Oh that's great news, makes it easier for you to touch and hold her too.

re the being sick - how often is she being fed? DD threw up all her feeds the first day, I then discovered they were trying to give her huge feeds only every 4 hours (!) then they changed it right down to a tiny feed every hour, which she kept down and then gradually worked up to bigger feeds 3 hourly. So, you could suggest they try smaller feeds more often?

How are you doing on the expressing - DD was able to keep breastmilk down much better than formula so if you can manage any then that might help (I know it doesn't work for everyone though).

Does she have jaundice, that's pretty common and might mean she has to spend some time under the lights. Just to warn you!

I wanted to get DD home sooo badly but with hindsight I'm glad she didn't go home too early as I was very very anxious about weight gain and temperature etc once she was home and if she'd gone home any earlier I'd have been even more scared iyswim?

Congratulations OP. I have a thirty weeker (now nearly 2) and you wouldnt know these days she's so chunky.

The neonatal units are surreal it's like time stands still. I used to ring up through the night if I was fretting. I also found chatting to the other mam's helped as they understand what your going through.

Don't beat yourself up over expressing. I did at first till my milk dried up with her been incubated. I got pills to to help the flow but I dried up again when she got neonal flu and I wasn't allowed contact.

BLISS has a lot of support and information.

More progress- she's coming out of the incubator and going into a hot cot!! Her jaundice has levelled off she's still a bit sicky but it's improving- I'm so stressed with the expressing I'm doing it every few hours and literally getting drops out- like 5-10mil it's so disheartening. When they ask me if I have any milk for her I feel like such a failure :(

How long until your babies came home?

that's great news! and good about the jaundice too.

please don't be disheartened about the expressing - you only just gave birth, so you'll be producing colostrum first, which is supposed to be tiny quantities, so you're doing great. 5-10ml is normal for colostrum honestly. quality not quantity! over the next few days your milk will come in and then you'll get more I expect. but, as Faack says, please don't beat yourself up over it...

24 days in SCBU for DD - but I think a bit of that was because she was tongue tied (as we found out much later) so struggled to learn to breastfeed.

I was told 35 weeks is the earliest they let them go home, but I don't know if that was a hospital rule or a guideline for all hospitals. My 32 weeker came home then.

It's also really normal to get just a few ml when you first express. It will quickly increase if you keep expressing etc. my dr prescribed domperidone after a couple of weeks and that also helped too.

6 weeks for my DD but she was thirty weeks and developed neonatal flu so that set her back a week or so.

Have the unit give you an electric pump to use mumto I was hand expressing for a week before I realised they had the electric ones on loans.

Congrats on the cot. She sounds like she's coming on leaps and bound

PS re the expressing, have you been shown hand expressing and have they given you little 5ml syringes to collect the colostrum in? if not, do ask.

Just wanted to add my congratulations,Ds was born at 30+6, he's now about to turn 4 and is the biggest bundle of lovely energy ever.

It's brilliant that she's doing so well already but I'm afraid you probably do have a long wait before you can bring her home still-ours was 27 days.

You're doing brilliantly to be persevering with expressing, every little helps remember! I found my milk came through much better

Sorry, stupid phone!

Milk came through much better once I'd tried to latch him on even though he couldn't suckle yet I think the closeness helped.

Good luck, and add others have said, make sure you look after yourself to!

Hello, another 32 week mummy here. Congratulations first of all. The next few weeks will likely be a busy blur, and it is hard, but you'll have your LO home before you know it ( mine was discharged at 36 weeks). I had all the same initial probs as you with expressing, baby being sick after feeds etc, but it all sorted itself out. I had hardly any milk for a few weeks, and expressed for a couple of months, but eventually we got to exclusive BFing, and I gave up when she was 16 months. Make sure you get plenty of skin to skin time, and take plenty of pics because you'll soon forget how small your little one once was. Good luck with everything xxx

Last October I gave birth to my baby who was due on Christmas day. She too breathed unaided, she was born at 31 Weeks and was 3lb 6. She came home exactly 4 Weeks old weighing 4lb 11.

Thanks for your replies really helping- I think once she feeds she will be allowed home but they don't seem to be in any hurry to get her to feed- she's latched on to me twice when she's awake but she's mostly asleep so it's hard she dosent have to wake up for food because it just goes in her tummy! Any tips on getting her home??

Congratulations and it sounds like you are doing all the right things. Don't forget that feeding uses up a lot of energy for baby so whilst it may sound counterintuitive tube-feeding isn't a bad thing as it will allow baby to gain weight quicker (and as you have seen whilst they are still asleep!) in the short term. Lots of skin-to-skin will help you keep your supply up in the meantime and baby can have short repeated tries at latching also when they briefly wake.
Also keep asking/pestering your drs and nurses for updates and asking when do they think you'll be able to take baby home. That will at least give you a rough date to aim for and countdown to.

Congratulations. I was in your position a long time ago but with a very sick baby. I was expressing about one teaspoonful every four or five hours. The milk will come when your baby starts feeding. In my case that was about 7 weeks. He is over six feet tall now . Just relax and enjoy the time you get with your baby. You will always remember this time. She most definitely won't.

Congratulations on your baby. I had a footling breech too !
Now as far as expressing goes, can you express in the room with her. Think of her, clear your mind of everything but her. If you can hear a baby cry then all then better (in a nice way, u know what I mean..!)
I used to have to really concentrate to get my milk to let down, even more so if I was expressing. Good luck.
Have they given any indication of what criteria she will have to meet before she can come home.

Congratulations on the birth of your DD. It's really tough at the beginning but i always take a lot of comfort from the prem mums on here, who's babies are older now. Enjoy your time with her and I'm sure you will be home quickly xxx

I know it's tough OP but she is in the best place. I watched babies leave with there parents whilst DD stayed in and used to get upset.

The nurses said too me that they don't like to discharge them before they are feeding independently because if they need to be readmitted they don't return to neonatal they go too the normal childrens ward.

This might be different at your hospital tho (DD was in Durham) also if they go home with the NG tube in and they pull it out you have to take them back to hospital to get them retubed.

Hope your DD's doing well

How often r u epressing op? I fed my 27 weeker for two years but getting a decent milk supply at first takes alot of work. I hand expressed 10-12 times daily. At 1 and 4 at night, two hourly for most of the day then hourly while sitting down of an evening to mimic cluster feeding. Its hard but its not forever. Once my dd could feed after 7 weeks it was all worth it. I had a freezer full of stashed milk and an oversupply! Good luck and if you really want to do it you can. But if you dont you really dont have to.