Hi Ladies, didn't want to hijack 34PinkLadyApple's post but have been having the some question running thru my head for weeks. So the background of the story is: DD was born at 34 weeks by crash section as her heart rate had dropped to below 90bpm. She was delivered within minutes but wasn't breathing and had no heartbeat and it took them 16 mins to bring her back. She was rushed to NICU and we were told she prob wouldn't make the night. However she pulled thru. She spent 24 hours on a ventilator and had significant blood pressure and blood sugar issues which took 3 days to stabilise. She had to be fed thru a tube. She did however make great progress and was moved into SCBU after 4 days. She was allowed out of hospital after 11 days and altho an MRI scan showed no damage to her brain from the time she was without oxygen we have been told the there is the chance of developmental problems.
And so to my point. I have several friends who all had babies within 8 weeks of me and I am struggling like hell not to compare DD's development to their (full term and no problems) babies. DD is 20 weeks corrected she does some of the things she is supposed to. She had good head control, 'mouths' everything, can sit with support, will reach for the toys on the arch on her play mat and can pull them off, she smiles and laughs and and is vocalising but she can not sit unaided or roll over at all and she still seems a bit jerky or flappy in her movements. I get upset when I see posts of their DCs rolling over and the like and I worry about my DD. I know she had such a terrible start and is doing so well to even be where she is and I appreciate everything little thing, knowing that we could have lost her. She is being monitored by the hospital and they are very happy with her progress but I need to know she is ok and on the right track. What experiences have others had?
PS Merry Christmas x
Connect with others and find premature birth support.
Premature birth
Another premie developement post?
Solero · 24/12/2013 20:47
Gosh bankholiday if you planned that even before having a prem baby then you are even more of an overplanner than me 
I didn't even think about the possibility of prematurity before I conceived DD. Quite aware of it now though...
I think its very hard not to compare and yes, I think the guilt thing plays a massive part. I had twins at 27+6, only 20g different in birth weight, both treated pretty much the same. One rolled 2 months before the other, one had to see a speech therapist (the other didn't), one so good at swimming he should have webbed feet, the other, not so good. Obviously both born at exactly the same gestation / fed the same / both given the same activities to do / spoken to equally – just hit "milestones" at different times.
It is SOOO hard not to be anxious, but with the benefit of hindsight, I realise that I never really celebrated the things they could do – I was always eager to get to the next milestone so they caught up with some "expected" standard. As you have said, you very nearly didn't have her, so just enjoy her 
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.