If only you could know for sure!!

[MadameJ]

My DD was born at 34 weeks which I know is not massively early, but still hard at the time and a huge shock. 16 months on DD is a walking, talking gorgous little person who I adore.

However DH has now mentioned TTC DC2, I feel so anxious about this due to DD being early and a horrendous birth. Obviously this time if I had another premmie I would have DD1 to consider and would possibly be faced with deciding to leave baby in hospital alone or being away from DD, both of these options fill me with dread.

Why oh why cant things be straightforward and easy???

Why was your DD1 early, do you know why?

If you want another then go for it. No1 came at 39 weeks but no2 at 36 weeks with two weeks in scbu. No reason for it no 3 came at 37 weeks and was fine but I had injections for lungs. Speak to your consultant if you are worried. I was terrified as no 3 threatened at 33 weeks but a false alarm!

I had to obviously do both and worried a lot about it. Dc1 took it all in their stride and seemed to enjoy different family members being around while I was in hospital, and not sure the baby had much of a clue whether I was there or not.

Don't get me wrong, it was highly stressful for me, but I don't think the kids batted an eyelid!!!

Ds was a 31 weeker, and honestly just thought it was one of those things so when i got pregnant 3 years later was smugly expecting a full termer. Not to be - another 31 weeker. Definitely more stressful having a baby in SCBU with another one at home (was able to spend all day every day in SCBU with DS but was only able to spend small amounts of time with DD1). It was hard but we got through it - only to go on and have DD2 6 years later who was a 27 weeker - which was a whole different heap of stress.

What i would say is make sure you get the very best antenatal care you can - once you've had one prem the chances of another are much higher and usual ante natal stuff just isn't enough imo. i had no extras with dd1 and had to fight hard for what i got with dd2 - although once i was 'in the system' the care was very good and probably got me from 22 weeks when she threatened to arrive to the 27 weeks when she finally did.

fwiw i now have 3 healthy children and their beginnings are pretty much a distant memory (although very much part of their 'story' iykwim).

Thanks ladies, always helps to read about others experiences. There was no apparent reason for her early arrival so I suppose I could hope it was just one of those things!!

In regards to antenatal care what sort of things should I be asking for, I doubt I will be offered much (live in the country where birthing in stables is still common!!!)