Next baby?

[Mama1980]

Hi not sure if this is the right place to pay. I had ds (4) at 27 weeks I have a very scarred uterus and incompetent cervix I was on bed rest from 16 weeks, having lost my first son then previously. I was hospitalised and managed to make 27 weeks blessing everyday before my placenta ruptured. We both nearly died and needed multiple operations but now my son is absolutely fine. :) my partner and I took a while to recover from the trauma but are now considering another baby. My consultant says it should en possible but that for me to make 24 weeks would be their aim I would need to be on bed rest possibly hospitalised. My son wants a brother/sister and so do we want another baby but I am just so so scared. Watching my son fight do hard was terrifying and I felt so so guilty. Do we risk it? Is it fair? Does anyone have any experience/ advice? My dp is wonderful but it will be my body. Saw the dr about this this morning and now just feel sick really.

I think thats a really tough call. I suppose you have to weigh up the risks - worst case scenario I guess is that something happens to you and your son loses his Mummy. The other scenario is a baby born at 24 weeks which may be in hospital for quite a long time and go on to have complications that will also affect your family and therefore your son. You also have the risk of trying and losing a baby and whether you'd still be the loving, fun Mummy that you are now whilst you get over that.

Obviously, the positive outcome is that everything goes as well as it can do and your DS has the darling brother or sister that he wants.

My situation was different in that although I had twins at 27+6, there was no explanation for why I went into premature labour (and therefore no reason why it would happen again). We did think long and hard before trying again, but we went ahead and everything was fine. It was a very stressful time though even in those circumstances.

I wish you well whatever you decide.

Thank you mandy for replying. It's just a horrible situation. I'm so glad everything went well for you second time my consultant was cautiously optimistic but it's a huge risk. I am 30 this year so my age is also a factor as dr believes I will need a hysterectomy by about 35 possibly.

The "bonus" if you can call it that is that your consultant knows exactly what the problem is and you can be monitored throughout to ensure you and the baby get the best of care at all times. You've done it once and yes, it was a traumatic time, but your DS is here and proof that the medical profession are miracle workers :-). Part of me wants to say that the worry and stress for a relatively short period of time would be infinitely worth it if you ended up with a sibling for your DS and a much longed for (it seems) baby. Thats easy to say when I obviously don't know you and I'm on an internet forum - not exactly real life! Its a very difficult decision so whatever you decide, love and luck to your family :-)

oh its such a tough decision isn't it? So glad your son is fine now. :)

My DS was born at 24 weeks, at the time we had no explanation but with hindsight it was cervical incompetence. We ummed and aahed about a second child, saw a consultant and agreed a plan should I get pregnant, and went ahead. I fell pregnant and was so incredibly nervous about having a trans vaginal stitch at 12 weeks and progesterone, and possibly 6 months of bedrest with a toddler in tow, but i the back of my mind there was the possibility of not getting to a viable gestation, or having another very early baby who struggled and either didn't make it or ended up with significant disabilities.

Well, at about 6 weeks pregnant I heard of a different procedure and completely changed our minds about the plan - I got a trans abdominal cerclage done privately. I've been ranting all over bliss and mumsnet about them ever since, as they pretty much fix cervical incompetence permanently. Google abbyloopers and have a look.

It sounds like you have more issues though, and that type of stitch might not be appropriate given your uterine scarring - its something you'd have to ask an expert doctor (not your usual NHS consultant who is unlikely to have a clue). On the Abbyloopers site there are some american doctors who offer advice online and i'm sure one would be happy to talk to you on the phone about your circumstances (might want a fee for their time though?).

I think you need to weigh up the different outcomes - what if it all went well? what if you were on bedrest for your pregnancy? what if you had an earlier baby who didn't survive? what if you had a child with severe brain damage due to prematurity? would you be happier to have tried and lost a child than never tried? to have any child regardless of likihood of disability or is it important to have a good chance of a healthy child? These are really personal and thorny questions that only you and your DP can answer, there is no right or wrong one-size-fits-all decision here.

The only other thing i'd say is research, research, research. Can you find other women in the same situation as you? What have their outcomes been? Can you speak to a variety of consultants about this, even if it means paying for a private second opinion?

For us, we decided to go ahead because we were likely to make it to viability with the right sort of care, even though we might end up with another premmie who had some problems the likelihood of a severely damaged child was low and we were prepared to welcome a child even in the worst of health rather than never have another one. But it was a very hard decision to make, and I'm so glad we later found a medical route that could give us a 95%+ chance of getting to term rather than the 70% chance of getting to viability that our first care plan brought.

Good luck making the decision, and I hope you can get the information you need. xxx

Deciding to have a baby after having one prematurely or in traumatic circumstances is always a difficult decision to make and i think it's much harder for women to be objective about is as we are so ruled by our hormones and they cloud everything. It is really important to do all the research before you make your decision and it sounds like you you have exactly the right idea seeing you Dr before you make a decision. What did the Dr say?

My First DD was born at 32 weeks after a spontaneous rupture of my waters at 30 weeks and spent 4 weeks in hospital, As far as prems go 32 weeks is a good gestation and she was fine, as far as i knew it was just one of them things and I never gave not having another baby a minutes consideration, I always knew we would and I got pregnant when she was 3.. well my second pregnancy was a nightmare, the hospital I was allocated were, for want of a better word, shite, and fobbed me off entirely. It ended up with me TELLING them at 21 weeks that they needed to check my cervix as i was getting pains and when they did they discovered funnelling and said I had to have an emergency cervical stitch which ruptured my waters and ultimately caused my son to be born after an abruption at 27 weeks... Like your Son he's fine and a true miracle.

Dh and I ummed and ahhed about having another and I did a lot of research and we decided against it last year and DH was supposed to go and have a vasectomy!

Anyway, i'm now 13 weeks pregnant and booked in for a transabdominal stitch (the same as Michaela has) next week but mine is being done on the NHS at Birmingham womans.. I've had to be extraordinarily stroppy pro-active to get it and we spent the whole day at the hospital yesterday organising it. There are 2 renowned TAC specialists in the country that I know of, Yousri Afiffi at BWH and Roy Farquharson at Liverpool Womans so maybe you could ask for a referal to one of them? I know they both prefer to put the stitch in pre-pregnancy and the NHS will fund it and it is a LOT cheaper for them to do it than to support a micropreemie though 14/16/20 weeks of NICU.

Of course I can't tell you mine worked wonders as it's not even been done yet but my consultant is incredibly confident about it which rubbed off on me and I have swung from terrified to hopeful about this pregnancy.

I wish you the best of luck making your decision.. it's a biggy! x

FYI other TAC specialists in the uk include...

• Dr Donald Gibb of The Birth Company in london (private - he did mine in October just gone and i'm 34+5 now)
• Prof Phillip Bennett at Hammersmith hospital in London (NHS and private)

Fab Michaela! 34+ weeks you must feel like you've been pregnant forever

yes, I am huuuuge! and have been working normally and running round after / lifting my almost 3 year old with no probs too. Am starting to get some pretty strong Braxton Hicks / irregular contractions but if I keep well hydrated and rest up they go away, apparently it is par for the course with a TAC but not a problem unless they get strong and regular as the TAC holds firm regardless. So says the internet, so it must be true right? :)

Sorry for the thread hijack mama1980

The internet knows all where TACs are concerned!

Thank u all for taking the time to reply. I will definitely be looking up the dr s and procedures you mentioned-thank you. Going private would not be a issue if it would help. The consultant seemed very thorough the plan would be to put on a cervical stitch and have me on bed rest from 14 weeks. It seems that the growth of babe around 15-16 weeks is what triggers bleeding and prem labour. They would have me on a mixture of drugs and blood transfusions-I bled everyday and needed loads with ds, and I would almost certainly be in hospital from then on. He thought I probably have about a 50/50 chance either way which makes sense I have been pregnant twice and both lost and delivered a son. He was cautiously optimistic as now they know exactly what they are dealing with. They would aim for 24 weeks but obviously the longer the better and do a csection when they deem the risk to me too great, balanced against the babe s size of course. We have Been discussing the potential practicalities tonight. I look at my son and am just torn, then at my dp and am even more torn. You are right we are going to do as much research as possible and look into getting a second opinion. I am so very glad your pregnancies are progressing well. Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble I'm
Just trying to think