Don't know if this is the right place - advice for sister after stillbirth

[FairhairedandFrustrated]

I'm sorry if this is the wrong topic to post under but I need to get some advice for my sister.

Some of you may remember me posting on her behalf when she fell pregnant with identical twins.

She discovered in December that twin 1 had died, she is due in March. She has had to carry the deceased twin as delivering would have been risky for twin 2.

As I am sure you can imagine, we're all devastated. She has some questions which she has no answers to, mostly involving after the birth.

How can she make sure she gets prints from the baby?
Does she need an undertaker/funeral director?
She is absolutely terrified something will happen and the baby will be 'disposed' of - I have reassured her time & time again that this will NOT happen and advised her to contact the hospital and put her wants to them on paper...

Has anyone experience of this? Thanks for reading.

I think that's what needs to happen Natasha, but her head isn't in the right place for this to happen yet.

She said she hasn't had any advice from the hospital yet as their main concern (rightly) is the health of the surviving twin. But for her own peace of mind she needs to know what questions to ask in order to get the answers she needs.

Hi can you google CLIMB, centres for loss in multiple birth, they may have info that can help, I think there are other similar places too but this is one I can remember. A friend went through this last summer - she lost one twin and had to carry both for a month until twin 2 was 32 weeks and okay to deliver. She had her babies by elective section, and the hospital were very very supportive. They washed and dressed her stillborn DD, took hand and foot prints and some pics and put them in a memory chest and gave her ample chance to hold her lost twin. I think the hospital will be able to advise on the funeral arrangements, what I do know from my DF is that if she does have a cremation there is likely to be no ashes :( because the wee one is liable to be so small and with such tiny bones, so they tend to suggest a burial. It's such a dreadful time - I really feel for your sister, and for all of you, its such a complicated form of grief.

Am so sorry to hear about your sister. Same thing happened to us 7 months ago -identical twin boys, found out at 34wk scan we had lost one. I had cs next morning, was offered induction but didn't think I would cope with normal delivery.
MW was fabulous, she took hand and foot prints from both our boys, cut a lock of hair, dressed our boy and we got to spend as much time with him as we needed, and they took photos of him with us and his twin ( his brother went to Scbu). She could ask delivery suite about memory boxes, ours provided one with blanket, teddy, print kit, etc. think all hospitals have them ( mostly charitable organisations providing them)

The hospital can organise funeral or you can see funeral home of your choice, but nothing should happen withOut her consent.

Nobody can prepare you for the emotional aspect - grief and joy together, and we're still trying to work our way through it all. Having our boy here has been what's kept us going tbh. Feel free to pm me if I can help, I really do feel for you all