9 year old not thriving

[Nattie]

My friend's 9 year old dd was born premature and is now having real problems with eating. She is 2 stone under weight. She hardly eats and when she does it hurts - so much that she is bent double. I am very fond of the mother and dd and can't bear to watch this little girl having so much trouble - my children eat like horses!! The problem seems to be both physical and psychological and, of course, it being eating, meal times can be stressful. The parents are divorced and my friend isn't getting useful support from the father - when the girl stays with him, he just calls her a drama queen and tries to force her to eat.

The GP's not being much help - the girl's having stool and blood tests. What help can my friend ask for? Are there websites she can look at?

thank you

I don't know, would it be possible to take her to a child psychologist? not sure this is related to the premature birth, was she always underweight?

Her mother didn't get a lot of positive support when the child was first born, then she did become a chubby baby but, over the past couple of years life's not been great for her.

I would like to be able to advise her to go to a child psychologist but, through personal experience with my ds, I don't have a lot of time for them.

Unless she has always had eating problems, how is the prematurity connected? The stool & blood tests are a first step but your friend may need to be persistent with the GP, who I'm guessing will eventually refer her if the cause is not obvious. Involve too the HV who can monitor weight and has access to support. I'm guessing they are going to be looking at medical conditions connected with digestion (hence the tests to check food absorption), possible allergies or intolerances, including celiac, or even IBS. Good luck with encouraging your friend to be tenacious to get to the root of the problem.

Thank you, KangarooCaught. Please excuse my ignorance, but is HV the health visitor? If so, how would she get access to one as she isn't at the moment.

The only reason we though prematurity might be a factor is that prem children often do have problems and maybe she is more suseptible than other full term children?

HV = health visitor yes, and is usually involved in monitoring weight & is able to access support for both friend(?) and dd. Normally you would just need to contact the surgery and book an appt. The GP sounds as if they are on to it, in terms of investigating an underlying physical cause, but it is a matter of being persistent, as your friend and her dd live with the problem, the gp doesn't. It could be psychological if there are emotional issues at home, but the physical still needs treating. But there are also a raft of other conditions that need to be ruled out first. But firm persistence is the key.

Thank you so much for this great advice. I'll talk to the mother tonight.

Have you thought about asking for the GP to test for coeliac disease, fair to thrive tends to be a classic symptom in children. There needn't be a family history.

fair to thrive, sorry meant failure to thrive