Struggling with regret after starting a medical abortion

[Silverlining2025]

Please help… I very unexpectedly found out that I am pregnant just under 2 weeks ago and am around 6+2 today. I already have 4 children, including my youngest who will only be 6 months old next week. For so many different reasons, (number of children already, their ages, our ages, my health problems during my last pregnancy, housing situation, finances etc), we thought it would be better for everyone not to continue with the pregnancy.

I received my package for a medical abortion last Saturday but couldn’t bring myself to start it. Yesterday, I had a massive panic attack about the baby getting bigger and how fast the time was going, plus I’ve started to get some pregnancy symptoms, and I took the first tablet. It’s now over 24 hours later and I feel as though I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. My heart feels as though it is literally breaking. I cannot bring myself to go through with the next step but I know that it’s too late. I’m terrified of what happens next and how much worse I’m going to feel. I feel as though I have no right to grieve or regret as it was my choice but I think I’ve made the wrong one. Please tell me this is going to get better…

If you don’t want to take the second set of tablets, don’t take them and call the clinic you got them from and explain. From what I have seen is that if you take only the first tablet, then there is a 50/50 chance that the baby would still be ok. People have had failed abortions or not taken the second tablets after regretting and have had healthy babies. I am someone who took both in a state of panic and the regret and grief I am feeling is devestating. My life has not been the same again. Just call the clinic and explain and they will give you next steps.

Hello! Previous poster is right. If you only take the first tablet (mifepristone), there’s about a 50/50 chance the baby will be all right. After the second tablet it’s also still possible, though less chance.

I just wanted to add that some of the pills by post suppliers aren’t well informed and they might tell you you’ve got no choice but to take the second lot of tablets, This isn’t true. See this study:

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23346916/

and this information sheet from a pills-by-post supplier:

aidaccess.org/en/page/450/what-if-you-take-the-mifepristone-and-then-decide-not-to-take-the-misoprostol

Also note that symptoms after mife such as bleeding do not necessarily mean the abortion is starting. You don't need to take the second drug just because you have these symptoms. But either way, symptoms or not, you should get a checkup and scan as soon as you can to make sure all is well.

Also there is a new treatment involving progesterone which may increase the chances of a continuing pregnancy after taking mifepristone. Go to abortionpillreversal.com/ for more information and ring their 24-hour hotline - it’s in the US but they’ve got information on how to access this care in various countries. This treatment is still being researched but there’s been published data showing it is effective:

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30831017/

Take good care and I hope everything will be all right for you!

Hi I’ve read your post and hope you’re in a better place mentally and emotionally now. It might help to contact BPAS and request counselling services for your pregnancy. How are you feeling now? You don’t need to feel guilty about wanting a termination, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate already and were thinking about the wellbeing of your existing children when you made that decision. It is never an easy one to make but you had selfless reasons at heart.

Thank you for taking the time to reply x

Thank you so much for responding and for all of the information. Unfortunately I started bleeding heavily and losing clots anyway so I continued with the abortion. I know it’s early days but I pray that we both find peace with our decisions eventually x

Hi.. thank you so much for replying. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure the pregnancy was coming away after the first tablet anyway, so I continued with the abortion. I know deep down it was the right decision for our family for so many reasons but I don’t think it will ever feel right to me. Physically, it was nothing like the horror stories I had read but emotionally and mentally I’m struggling. I feel empty and know that there will never be a day that I don’t grieve for the person they might have been. I’m praying that with time it might get easier xx

It sounds as though you made the best decision for your family. Understandably you are struggling as you probably felt torn between what would be practical and what your heart was telling you to do. Please know that you can talk to a professional at any point about your feelings, and that you deserve the help if you think it would benefit you. Also make sure you get on a reliable form of contraception and maybe discuss with your husband how you will prevent pregnancy from now on. Beware that you are very fertile at this time x

edited to correct grammatical error