Couldnt go through with termination

[justif]

Long story short, I’m now 12w pregnant and due my scan soon and i feel so detached from reality.
i have two small children and feel like i barely survived these past two years and despite using contraception we have found ourselves pregnant with a 3rd.
Husband said he would support my choice to terminate but that he didn’t want to know anything so wasn’t really supportive.
When i went to go collect the tablets the prescription hadn’t been sent and it felt like a sign and i didn’t go back.
that was four weeks ago. I feel ill all day every day and i just do not feel excited.
i had a traumatic 2nd birth and i do feel part of my worry is due to that but i feel our lives are ruined.

Oh goodness, OP.

You can’t go on like this, feeling do distressed and that your lives are ruined.

So… you can’t work through how you and DH could turn this around and be a good thing for your family, what would be needed to help you keep your head above water , re-arrange your lives, get help or whatever… talk to a midwife about your understandable feelings following a tough birth.

Or, you can re-visit your feelings about terminating. It’s not too late but be quick quick.

You used contraception, your life doesn’t have to be defined and dictated by accidents you didn’t plan.

What did you think the Dr / pharmacy mistake was a sign of? What did you feel you were being told?

Take care of yourself

Hi there,

By not making a decision, you are making a decision. You still have time but I think as the weeks go on the certainty for a termination needs to be even more absolute.

I had a very difficult third pregnancy. I went into denial for a long time and just didn't discuss it. I made multiple appointments for a termination (up to about 16 weeks) and never attended them, and I sobbed through my booking in appointment with my midwife. I catastrophised every possible outcome. However, having had an abortion in the past and really struggled afterwards, I just couldn't do it again.

Many people do walk away from abortions with relief and no regrets. It's a weird one that it can be hard to tell how you'll feel overall until a few months afterwards. I just knew for me it had been really hard and I was scared at feeling that way again.

It did get easier as the weeks went on. Telling people helped - seeing them be happy for me. I took antidepressants until around 20 weeks and then stopped and coped. After he was born (planned C-section due to previous traumatic birth), it was easier too than being pregnant. I was worried about postnatal depression but luckily it didn't happen. He was generally a content baby, his siblings adore him and he's probably the most like his dad of the three and is therefore the apple of his eye.

It's a bit harder now he's a toddler. Just because he's a very high energy toddler boy. Occasionally I wistfully think how easy my life would be with just the two (I don't admit this to anyone) but overall I think I would have definitely have struggled more with having an abortion and seeing families with 3 children etc. But that's just me. I suppose I'd never ruled out having three children in the past, and I didn't overly struggle with having two of them previously. I don't know you or your situation, but all I can say is that nothing was as bad as I made it in my head.