3rd baby? unplanned

[Sk1sk0]

Found out a few days ago. I do not feel one ounce of excitement or happiness. I have a 3.5 year old and a 1 year old and life is so busy, my health isn’t great with very low iron and I never sleep, still bfing. On top of that I’ve already had sickness and low mood, which has only come on the last week so I do think it’s hormone related. It’s making things really hard to put into perspective. I just don’t know if I can do the alternative. I think I am between 5 and 6 weeks. Any advice or experience from those that chose to continue with a short age gap or that to terminate would be welcome

It’s such a shock when it’s unplanned, and so I’m not surprised you’re feeling that way.

Two of mine were very close in age. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t easy, but I don’t regret it. I have an 8 year gap between my 2nd and 3rd and that was harder in lots of way.

Try to be kind to yourself the next few days. Do you have much support? It’s still very early days and you have time to consider your nexts steps 💐

Thank you for your reply x
Yes it would be a very small gap which worries me. My youngest is still very clingy, breastfeeds a lot, doesn’t sleep well but I suppose so much can change in 9 months. I have family that live close by and are very helpful when they can though they all work full time. My husband is also out the house 10 hours a day for work.
How have you found having 3 overall? I know your gaps are different but logistically/emotionally?

There were times where I felt really ground down, tbh. It is exhausting. They’re all a little older now but my house is still chaos. I do find myself emotionally exhausted too because I’m pulled in so many directions at once. But they’re also my greatest source of joy and I genuinely wouldn’t change a thing.

Thank you for your honesty

I got pregnant with children that age and I did decide to terminate. It was a hard decision for me but I knew I would be mentally unable to cope. I was already struggling with my two being so close in age and they didn’t like each other then as well which made things harder. It was a shame but ultimately I have not regretted it because I knew it was the right decision for me as well as my other two children who I was already struggling with. We have a lovely dynamic now and they are 8 and 10. x

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I feel the same, that I am stretched so thin already with two tiny ones and would really struggle with another. But I feel so guilty x

You have nothing to feel guilty about. It is not wrong to prioritise your existing children and your own well being.

thank you, I appreciate that!

Guilt will be a part of it realistically but if you focus on it too much it can overtake things. You cannot be too hard on yourself or else it will end up affecting your mental health and availability for your own children. I beat myself up so much but then realised actually it’s so common for people to have terminations and it’s just because it’s not spoken about you don’t realise how regularly it happens. Your not the only one this is happening to but it feels like it. For the nurses that help people in this situation it’s just part of their normal job and termination is one of the most safe and common procedures. However after all that it’s very difficult emotionally and you do just need to be give yourself time to get though this but try not to be too hard on yourself x