Hi, I fell pregnant 2 years ago unplanned and my partner was not happy. He pressured me into an abortion I did not want threatening to leave me, kick me out of the house (we aren't married and it's his house). I have 2 children from previous marriage who are 15&13. He has 2 children from his previous ages 9&11. Our relationship nearly didn't make it, and neither did I, I went through hell with the guilt of the abortion, and spent over a year in therapy. My partner promised to get a vasectomy, he has still not done so.
Over the last 6 months I have been diagnosed with Adenmyosis, I have stopped my usual contraception because of the issues I had and I am due to have the coil fitted, but there is a long wait list and I was hoping he would sort the vasectomy before that since he promised. I have just found out I am pregnant again. I am 39 and my partner is 38. I am terrified to tell him, I can't have a repeat of what happened last time and I will not have another abortion, I don't think I would emotionally cope with it. I'm pretty sure it is the end of my relationship because of this and I will be raising a child alone.
Can anyone give me some advice? I can't talk to anyone right now because that was one of the biggest problems he had with it, that I talked to friends first. How long is morally ok to wait to even tell him? Is it wrong if I don't? or should I walk away from the relationship because I know the reaction. I also wonder if anyone has had a baby at my age without a partner who can give me advice, will I cope?! I don't have much support near me as my mum lives abroad. My dd will be 16 and ds will be 14 by the time the baby arrives.