Considering termination of planned pregnancy age 33

[difficultdecision1234]

First pregnancy, no kids yet but always wanted a family. Surprised to conceive on first try (always had a fear of infertility). Have been with husband 4 years but relationship has been unstable; main issue is he makes cruel comments and threatens divorce when angry (maybe 1-2x/month). (He retracts the threats quickly but the impact on me lingers.) Also have issues around domestic workload (I do almost all cooking, admin etc). We separated for a few weeks last year due to these patterns and have now been in couples therapy for months with little improvement.
I was the one pushing for the pregnancy, which I now realise was due to my own anxiety around fertility, rather than us being ready as a couple. I have felt extremely depressed ever since learning I was pregnant and have been hoping for a miscarriage but scans have been fine. When I saw there was a heartbeat at 7w I cried for an hour (not happy tears, haha).
I'm also having pretty bad physical symptoms (nausea, exhaustion) so trying to make sure I'm not overly influenced by that.
Husband wants the baby and is confused and disappointed by my reaction to the pregnancy. He promises he would step up for baby, is confident in us as a couple etc.
I have said we could work on stabilising our relationship and try again in a year, although given my age I'm nervous about conceiving again. Divorce also occurs to me- maybe this pregnancy was a wake-up call.
Currently 8w and considering MA next week.

I understand, I feel the exact same way. I am currently almost 6 weeks pregnant and have cried since the 4th day of knowing, I am 30 and have been married for 5 years. I’m so unsure what to do, I don’t want to regret ending the pregnancy but don’t want to regret continuing. But these feelings are not going away and I am wishing for a miscarriage which I feel awful for. You are not alone.

You need to decide on if you want a baby and if you do then continue. A termination is not simple. Don’t let marriage or possible divorce affect your decision.

Hi sorry to hear your both in this position. I am also in the position where this pregnancy was planned but now I’m not sure what to do. I honestly thought I wanted another baby. Iv had a tricky few years I actually had an unplanned pregnancy in 2024. But we went ahead and unfortunately I lost the baby at 25 weeks to the slapped cheek virus. It was and awful time and I thought I would cope ok having another baby but actually now I’m pregnant I feel absolutely petrified of somthing going wrong again. I already have two children and I’m worried if anything happens to me I won’t be able to look after them. I just don’t think I’m mentally strong enough to get through it. But also making that decision to abort is a tray hard choice as I will have to live with it. I felt like last month would be our last month of trying and then I would draw a line under it and move forward and now I have got myself in this position. My partner is supportive but I think it also scares him aswell.