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Pregnancy choices

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Did you go ahead with an unplanned pregnancy and have a child with SEN?

4 replies

Idontknowaboutlife · 18/01/2026 10:56

A sensitive topic I am sure. I have 3 kids with autism and just found out I am pregnant with number 4, from new partner. This was unplanned (in fact pregnant after taking Ellaone), large age gap between kids and I am 40!

My biggest fear is having a child with severe disability and I always count myself lucky for what I have. My kids are on the spectrum but bright and fill my life with joy. Did you go through an unplanned pregnancy that you later regretted for whatever reason?

Part of me don't want to ruin what my kids have (note that they're really excited about the prospect of a younger sibling when this came into discussions before) and the other part just wants a strong bond with my now partner (as silly as it sounds) and I feel having a child together might bring us closer (or break a relationship)

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BeRedBiscuit · 19/01/2026 18:26

Just had my 1st at 42 lol, so some would say I am ancient. It was unplanned, didn't think it would be something that would happen, but best thing ever. Perfectly healthy baby so far. You can get the testing done during pregnancy to rule out chromosomal issues, if its something that would help. Autism can be genetic, so with a different partner there's nothing to say your baby would be on the spectrum, or have SEN.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Idontknowaboutlife · 19/01/2026 18:39

Thank you for taking the time to reply and congratulations!

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Maggie199408 · 12/05/2026 16:38

Hi sorry just curious if you kept the baby?

Idontknowaboutlife · 13/05/2026 11:50

Unfortunately, I had a missed miscarriage, but I went to the first midwife appointment thinking I am keeping the baby! Miscarriage rate goes up with age apparently even when you manage to get pregnant. Having said that a friend my age had two girls past her 40s and they're perfectly healthy. It's one of those things that you can never guess!

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