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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

4th pregnancy

2 replies

Katie9780 · 15/01/2026 08:21

I already probably know the answers I will get. But please just be gentle. I have 3 children already. My eldest two had a father that passed away recently and so he’s no longer in their lives. My third child was born when my most recent partner was living with us but we are taking some time apart right now. He is a very hands on Dad with my youngest, sees her 50/50 and also close to his step children/my eldest two. He has a great job. Just has some issues with his temper and he finds all the kids a lot sometimes, so I’m not sure if that means I will be living alone for the foreseeable. It was my decision to leave for some peace.

My eldest two have been grieving and life has been difficult. I found out a few weeks ago I was pregnant again and I’m in a literal state of shock. I have had some health worries so thought that was just delaying my period; I never thought it was this. I must be nearly 6 weeks now.

On the positive side I’m extremely lucky that I have a beautiful home, and space-wise have no reason not to be able to care for another child. My eldest two ADORE my youngest; they are so obsessed with her and I’m lucky that (whilst they argue with each other eyeroll) they are so grateful for their little sister and always say to me ‘we are so happy you had her!!!!!!’

But I’m scared. I don’t know what the future looks like. I lost my parent many years ago and always have a whimsical look on life; in the fact that I know it’s a gift. I know I will struggle with guilt and the wondering of ‘what if’ if I choose to terminate. My mum wouldn’t be supportive- she would think I’m crazy to even consider it. But then I also know that my family is not how I ‘planned’ and I don’t want to be irresponsible or selfish in the this decision. If anyone has ever been through anything similar…

OP posts:
Katie9780 · 23/01/2026 08:05

Bump… making my decision this weekend and no one to talk to. Hope everyone makes the right decision for you and your families

OP posts:
CJones11 · 26/01/2026 10:25

Hi OP. Sorry that you ahevnt had any replies or support. How are you feeling about the situation now?

I went through an abortion 2 weeks ago. It was my 4th pregnancy but I also have twins so would have been my 5th baby (so I thought). Went to the appointment and was scanned to see twins again. I say see, i was 5-6 weeks so extremely early. I decided to proceed with the termination and physically, it wasn't traumatic but emotionally I have struggled. I know i would have loved them dearly. But my existing children are so young. Current twins are just 1 and the logistics of having more was just too much for us right now.

Only you can know how much you can handle. 4 children has been wonderful for us but I don't think I'm brave enough to go for more!

Something to consider is how much your older two will need you as they continue to grow. Teenagers are a lot.

Your message read as though your heart is not set on terminating which is a completely valid choice. Try not to focus on what others will think, you'll receive judgement either way.

Anyway, you're not alone and I hope you're able to make a decision that brings you peace!

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