So abit of a back story, when my ex partner and I found out I was pregnant, him and his parents were very supportive.. I’m now 5 months pregnant and I left my partner because he had a bad addiction to spending money on gambling / drink ect and it just wasn’t for me anymore, we ended very civilly and as far as I was aware there was / is no bad blood. Since splitting up, I’ve tried to include him as much as possible, ie letting him know about scans so that he could come, telling him my intended birth plan & when I wanted to start purchasing things, all of which had been ignored. So I contacted his parents ( whom I was very close with ) asking what exactly is going on and If they could try and get through to him ( he lives with them ). His dad responded nicely saying that he will have a chat with him & that his behaviour is unacceptable. This was yesterday.
this morning I recieved a message from the dad, explaining that I need to leave him & his parents alone, and to only contact him when something needs to be paid for..
He has made out like I constantly message him, for a bit of context this was the message I recieved
‘Hello, I didn’t think I’d have to do this, because I thought we discussed that we weren’t going to be in contact till January, to discuss matters for buying things, but now my dads told me that you’ve sent him a long message about everything, so I’m messaging you to tell you that I don’t need to be in regular contact with you, we are not together anymore, so I don’t owe you the time of day, like I said, we agreed we’d discuss buying things for the baby in January, but for the mean time I’d really appreciate if I didn’t have you messaging my parents, as this is a matter for us to discuss, and it’s not there business, I also am very confused why you have me all over your Facebook, I’d appreciate you taking those posts down because we’re not together and quite frankly just doesn’t look right. I will contact you in January RE the baby stuff. But for the mean time you will remain blocked Emily, because I don’t and my dad certainly doesn’t need calls and messages and “no caller ID calls’ So good luck with the scan, but please just leave me and my family alone. Thanks. ‘
now before anyone jumps down my throat, I have NEVER messaged him about anything other than the baby since I left him, and that has been on 3 occasions and the conversations have been about 2 minutes long:
The first time being a week after we split up to ask him when he wanted to start buying things for the baby
The second time being when I was sent to the hospital about my blood pressure so they wanted to monitor me and the baby
The third time to let him know the date of my next scan & that I have chosen to have an elective c section.
I have never ‘harrased’ him which is what he’s basically making out in that message, and I’ve only ever messaged his dad on the one occasion, asking if he could speak to max and see what was going on, because I was being completely ignored every time. I wouldn’t of if I wasn’t close and had a good relationship with his parents. We never discussed only contacting in January at all, and I believed I was doing the right thing by keeping him in the loop if I deemed it necessary if it was about the baby.
As for the ‘being all over your Facebook’ he is referring to the fact that I haven’t removed the scan picture which has him tagged in it, when I announced the pregnancy, baring at this point we was still together, and it was posted months ago so I didn’t even think to take it down.
I have also never called him on no caller ID, so he’s obviously been called at some point and just ASSUMED I’m the one that’s calling him.
Basically moral of the story is he’s ran to mummy and daddy when they’ve told him he’s out of order for ignoring me making out like I’m a complete psychopath that never leaves him alone, in order for them & himself to justify his actions.
Now here is where the question comes in, would you allow his parents / him to be involved when the baby is born if they’re basically telling time to p*ss off and leave them alone until the babies here, even though I haven’t done anything to warrant that?
it really rubbed me up the wrong way when he said that ‘this is a matter for us to discuss’ when the only reason why I messaged his dad in the first place was because I was being completely ignored for weeks on end.
i don’t need any opinions on parenting please, this isn’t my first rodeo and I’m perfectly capable as a mother, I just need some advice on what to do in terms of the baby seeing the grandparents / putting the dad on the birth certificate ect, because he’s just asking me to message him when he can chuck money at me, and his grandparents don’t want anything to do with me at all until the vessel ( me ) pops out their grandson and wants to see him.
thanks in advance.