Surprise pregnancy after twins

[Yuliyuli93]

Hi everyone, I have 4 kids ages 6,3, and 1 year old twins. I just found out im pregnant and we are completely in shock and stressing out about this. My initial reaction was to terminate the pregnancy. I have it scheduled to go in, in 3 days. I’m only 4 weeks right now.

I keep going back and forth on weather I should terminate this pregnancy or not. After I had twins when people asked me if I wanted any more kids I would say “if I could be guaranteed 1 more girl I would have 1 more, but since I can’t be guaranteed that.. I don’t want to play the game”. So now I’m like thinking what if this is the universe responding to what I said ?

im a SAHM and my husband works a lot. We don’t have any family near by (not his or mine) and I feel like I’m already stretched super thin. Between taking our 2 oldest to their after school activities and running after the twins, my hands and and I don’t have any time almost at all for each other. We have the space and enough income for 1 more child but at what cost to the other children? I read a quote once that said “your kids need a happy mom more than they need another sibling” and I completely agreed.

im scared that bringing in another baby is irresponsible and would hurt our other children because we already can’t give each of them enough attention. When my 6 year old asks me to draw with her I say okay but then the twins start crying or one needs to be changed. I’m stretched so thin as it is that I don’t have any more mental bandwidth width and it would absolutely kill me inside if one of my current children were not getting their emotional needs met. I think about their futures and want them to feel happy growing up in our home and have good stress free memories of their childhood.

has anyone been through this, known of anyone that has or is a child coming from a large family ? What is your opinion ?

i have 3 including a set of twins - at age 1 I thought I’d love to have another child - loved it…by time twins hit age 3/4 I was certain I couldn’t do it again. 😂
are your twins identical or non identical? Obviously non identical significantly increases your chance of this pregnancy being another twin one …

My twins are non identical. They are walking and climbing everything and my almost 4 year old son is super high energy and very needy in attention always. I feel like between them 3 (my daughter is more calm) I can barely even remember to drink water.

Hello @Yuliyuli93 , I was just wondering, does your partner know you're pregnant? Are you thinking you'd rather decide without telling him? That might lead to problems down the road if you are struggling to deal with the aftermath of abortion but can't tell him what's wrong. I hope you can be honest with him and get his input. I was also wondering why you felt that you would welcome another child if it was a girl. I'm not judging, I'm just curious why you felt that way.

Yes my husband knew since the moment I found out. He is supportive of whatever I choose to do and is also morally conflicted and doesn’t know which route he would take either. I said I would choose a girl because I have 1 girl and 3 boys and I’ve always loved having a girl and dressing her up and sharing things with her. My daughter is a pure angel and I’ve enjoyed so much raising her (she’s 6). I love my boys too, they are just very high energy and bond more their their dad.

Hey @Yuliyuli93 no advice really but just wanted to say I was thinking of you. I’ve been in a similar conflict in with a planned 3rd. The thought of what would happen to my existing children’s futures was horrid. Now I’m a terrible example as entirely different situation, as after this initial anxiety I ended up in psychosis and acutely suicidal so my choice in the end was not really a choice. However - all I want to say is that I understand your predicament and whatever you decide is totally acceptable. You sound lol you have a beautiful family. Thinking of you.

Wow. I'm glad I've found your post. What did you decide in the end?

I am in an extremely similar situation. 7 year old, almost 3 year old, and almost 1 year old twins. Found out I was pregnant on the 11th of December (weirdly my 2 year old told me there was a baby in belly and I freaked).
After 4 days of trying to get an appointment for a termination, I finally have one. But not until January 7th. I'm so conflicted about the decision. I know how much my existing kids will need me as they grow up and adding another does worry me. But equally, I know how much joy a baby can bring.
Terrified of the thought of more twins jumping us from 4 to 6 also.

If you need to chat, I'm hear and would love to have someone in a similar situation to talk with.