Please help me

[Cwoffeelover1]

I don’t even know where to start…
just found out I’m 4 and abit weeks pregnant already have 2 children 9 and 1 and dh a cocaine addict that I’ve been on and off with for months as he’s always promising to stop does for a week or so then goes back on it again. We’re financially unstable in rented accommodation that’s already too small (2 bed) haven’t been able to afford somewhere new to upsize for the baby we already have yet because we can’t trust him to pay rent cos of this addiction he never has any
money it’s the biggest mess ever I know the odds are stacked against me and having a 3rd child is going to put even more pressure on me I get little support as he’s at work all week and when he’s not he’s out and sleeps all day when he’s back etc I’m scared how it will affect my children’s lives but I can’t stop crying at the thought of terminating and he has also said he will never forgive me if I terminate which just
makes Me feel even more guilty I honestly feel panicky at the thought of even taking the tablets when they come please help
me xx

Bump

Hi, I’m sorry you are faced with such a difficult situation. Do you have any trusted family or friends that you can talk through this with, that understand the position you’re in with regards to your husband’s addiction?

As hard as this all is you need to make your decision based off of what you can manage without his help. He’s a cocaine addict and it sounds like he doesn’t do much of the parenting as it is, how do you think it will improve with an extra baby added into the mix? He’s not dependable and relying on whatever part of his wages that aren’t spent on drugs isn’t ideal with two babies plus a young child.

An on and off relationship isn’t ideal at the best of times, but with one partner in addiction and two young children it has to be unstable and an emotional rollercoaster for you. You say space is limited at home and while that’s surely an issue, I’d be more concerned about the state of your relationship. You can always pretend you had a miscarriage if you decide on termination, your partner won’t know any different. Now is the time to move in silence and decide what to do in your own best interests

It sounds like you need to leave him, if you could do it by your self then keep the pregnancy and get rid of him or don’t keep the pregnancy and still just get rid of him, look at it like he’s out the picture and has them on a weekend as it should be he’s clearly not fit to be a dad if nothing changed with the first it won’t with the second xxxx sorry to say it this way but blunt is best you deserve better

How are things now @Cwoffeelover1? I think that saying that he will never forgive you of you terminate is shifting blame onto you.

He could have taken more responsibility for contraception. He could seek help for his addiction. He could step up and provide rent money to house toh and his current DC. Addiction is awful but is he seeking any help at all?

How long are you willing to put up with an addict in your life?

Sorry meant to ask, are you getting any support through charities like Adfam or Smart?

Having a young family and a partner who is addicted and is seemingly using control on you must be so difficult to deal with and you probably also have the debt that addiction brings too?

Whether you keep the baby or not, it sounds as though you need to be on your own with your DC