Struggling To Terminate

[Meggseeboo]

3 weeks ago I found out I'm expecting my 4th child. Usually I would be ecstatic, but this time feels different.
I had my daughter 4 months ago, via c-section and I actually ended up having a partial uterine rupture. During the surgery, I was told "No more babies." And honestly, I didnt take it seriously which is pretty evident at this point.
This is my third pregnancy in a row, with very little breaks in between. My first daughter was born premature in February 2024, and I was pregnant 6 months later and that unfortunately ended in a miscarriage. A month after that I discovered I was pregnant.
Something to note is that my body cannot handle being pregnant. I have premature rupture of membranes every single time, I experience prodomol labour, pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, anemia, and liver cholestasis.
I'm so poorly that I can't get out of bed or walk for more than 5 minutes without being in the worst pain imaginable. Pelvic girdle pain I think its called. I have had 3 c-sections, the first being emergency.
On top of that, I tend to suffer with mental illnesses afterwards. With my first, I had postpartum Psychosis and with my second and third I had postpartum depression.
I've heard that my risk of uterine rupture is extremely high and I was told my uterus is paper thin. I've been googling everything about risks, death, so on and so forth.
I'm only 27 and I have 3 children I need to live for.
Is continuing this pregnancy too stupid? Is there a chance I will lose my life? Does anybody have any similar stories that they would be willing to share with me?
I've been to the abortion clinic and recieved everything for the medical abortion, but i find myself just staring at the tablets, crying and crying.
I really don't know what to do.
Please dont hold back, anything you say I will take on board and I wont take any offence to. I just need some real honest advice to help me decide what to do as I've gotten to the point that I'm aware that making this decision entirely on my own isn't happening.
Thank you in advance ❤️

Have you spoken to GP? They should be able to access your notes and give you advice. I had a horrible situation where I had symptoms I was concerned with and was told the pregnancy (early) was in the wrong place and it would be dangerous if it stayed there. I terminated early and it has taken me a while to get through with my actions of termination. It was planned pregnancy. The hospital gave me substandard care to be honest in terms of information and support. The second scan showed the same place as before. D and C was mentioned, I was frightened it would rupture and die. The consultant overturned the 2 sonographers. I felt I needed to be safe for my 2 girls I already have and need me so much. I am distraught when I think maybe the pregnancy might have been safe. But I was very unsupported by all around me. If the sonographers were correct and my body was correct in what it was signalling then I could have died and at the time I could not deal with that information.

your story is the same in terms of what the end result could be. Death. Not an easy thing to think about and just so hard to continue with something when fatality is possible.

I have no advice to you really but just wanted to share as there does seem to be all sorts of situations out there. You should be able to get medical advice swiftly on this due to your history. Do what you need to do. If someone said to me during theatre “no more babies” then I wouldn’t push my luck but that is me. Plenty of people do. You must do what you think. But get medical advice asap!